“Just to be clear,” Andrew says. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?” Steven giggles. “Spite’s such a harsh word. Shock and impress, maybe.” “For a man of faith you’re being awfully morally flexible about this,” Andrew says.

Growing up was bad enough the first time. Going through a speed run was a special kind of hell.

It’s rather disappointing, Reborn thinks. He was a much cuter toddler the first time round.

Present Mic first spots the restaurant when it’s his turn to patrol the local neighbourhood around UA.

In a world where soulmates can feel the other's pain, being Edward Elric's comes with a whole host of problems.

Shūhei is in the middle of trying to figure out how to tell his captain we don’t do things that way anymore because that system is outdated and also wrong when the whole world lurches under his feet.

Kirishima tries to help Bakugou out during his first heat, and things get complicated.

Persephone sat down at the opposite end of the divan. "A mortal crossed the Styx… She's waiting in the throne room." Hades dropped the reed in the ink pot and raised his eyebrows, giving his wife his full attention. "She?" "Her name is Psyche. She says Venus sent her." "For what?" "That's… what I need to ask you about." She settled in the seat and crossed her legs. "Why, pray tell, husband, would Aphrodite think that there is a box of beauty that I keep at my bedside?"

“Who the hell are you supposed to be, un?” Deidara demands, bristling. “The villain from a shitty Princess Gale movie?”

Prompto's mouth is dry. His brain's coming up with some pretty amazing mental pictures, just from those words alone. He squirms in his chair, and Gladio laughs. "Someone's interested." "So? I'm into it, what can I say." He shifts again. Even if he loses, there's no order he can think of that he won't love following – not from these guys. "Let's do it." "I'm in," says Noct, not a beat of hesitation. "And I," says Ignis. "So deal already," says Gladio – and Ignis does, long fingers steady and sure on the cards.

"She was fucking taller," Katsuki's Benio repeats, fangs out. "The fuck she was." Katsuki knows what, who his daemon is talking about. He doesn’t want to know, but he does. Benio is about eye level with Midoriya Yuina. She probably also knows what she’s talking about. Maybe the shitty fainting mini-steak on the hoof just decided to stand up properly today. Maybe Katsuki and Benio have other shit to think about, like the upcoming tournament, and other shit not to think about, like needing to be fucking saved by a fucking useless quirkless mook and his fucking fainting goat, the biggest joke of the animal kingdom bar none.

"She was fucking taller," Katsuki's Benio repeats, fangs out. "The fuck she was." Katsuki knows what, who his daemon is talking about. He doesn’t want to know, but he does. Benio is about eye level with Midoriya Yuina. She probably also knows what she’s talking about. Maybe the shitty fainting mini-steak on the hoof just decided to stand up properly today. Maybe Katsuki and Benio have other shit to think about, like the upcoming tournament, and other shit not to think about, like needing to be fucking saved by a fucking useless quirkless mook and his fucking fainting goat, the biggest joke of the animal kingdom bar none.

It's been judged safe to send the students of UA home to their families for the first three weeks of summer, much to the relief of everyone whose name isn't Todoroki Shouto. Luckily, Midoriya has a solution for him, and Midoriya Inko has a lot of love to give.

Sasuke is actually eighteen the first time he looks at Sakura and realises abruptly that he wants her. (In which being close friends with Sakura actually frightens Sasuke a lot less than being physically attracted to her.)

Post Season 1, Shiro and Pidge crash-land on a deserted planet and need to rely on each other to survive the aftermath of the battle with Zarkon. (written prior to Season 2 airing; this is an AU where Pidge and Matt are identical twins.)

When a series of seemingly random attacks all over Musutafu leave civilians and heroes alike Quirkless, Inspector Midoriya is put on the case. Little does he know, he’ll be teaming up with the only person who has come out of an attack unscathed and Quirk intact—Katsuki Bakugo.

Between trying to repair a childhood friendship and reassessing why she wants to be a hero, Uraraka discovers a different side to Bakugou, and discovers more to herself.

Anne and Dan want to help Eddie and Venom find a new source of phenethylamine. Did you know it’s produced by a bacterium commonly found in human genitals? That’s a FACT.

Tobirama follows Hashirama to the river with a thousand points of light burning in his head. He leaves with one as all he can see, a bonfire, a conflagration. Uchiha Madara sets a match to his life with the simple fact of his existence, and in his wake Tobirama is left standing in a field of ashes.

Peter knows his father wasn't human. It's just not common knowledge that his mother wasn't either.

The Chargers help rebuild Kirkwall, the Bull pines, and Hawke is sometimes an insightful drunk.

So, I looked at the prompt that sparked Ex Cinere and suddenly had Inquisition-era dialogue coming out of my ears. Here, have some of that. Now includes some new material not seen on the kinkmeme. Seriece for Ex Cinere

Eddie thinks a lot about ways to die. He always has. It's fine. Except Anne doesn't agree with that assessment, and neither does Venom. (Dan mostly just wants Eddie to go a week without being hospitalized for any reason at all.)

Keith tells the truth, makes a friend, and bleeds. Lotor falls hard. “Did you… Did you seduce the enemy?” Lance asks. “I didn’t know you had it in you.” Keith frowns. “I didn’t seduce him.” Silence descends and it’s one of those moments when he’s not in on the joke, because everyone is sharing looks. “I didn’t,” Keith repeats.

The Chargers rebuild the alienage of the worst city in Thedas. Skinner hates everything about it, except Merrill–maybe.

In which barriers are useful when a pack of angry Venatori attack you from a beach, and Krem learns something he probably shouldn't know about Dorian Pavus.

Things Eddie Brock flirts with on a regular basis: death, insanity, his ex, his ex’s new boyfriend, and also the alien symbiote that lives inside his body. Not bad for a loser with no game, really.

The New Republic has been after Luke, Leia, and Han to commit to doing some PR work. Their ideas have ranged from bad to worse. When they come to Leia with the notion of one of the trio starring on a holonet competition show, the last thing she and Han expect is for Luke to volunteer to go on Dancing Across the Galaxy. And nobody expected him to actually try and win.

All mages are born with a soulmate--a voice they hear in the darkness of the Fade all their lives. The lucky ones find their soulmates and forge a bond strong enough to threaten the very foundations of the Chantry. Hawke is one of the lucky ones.

Mikoto does not want her elderly relatives trying to pick out her future husband. Kushina has a brilliant idea. (Oh no... she's hot.)

While everyone in Suna concerns themselves with Gaara, terrified that the One-Tail might break free and rampage through their Village, they forget a few key facts. First, that just because Shukaku is the largest demon in Suna does not make the Bijuu the only demon in Wind Country, or even the only demon sealed away in Hidden Sand. Second, that Raza has two elder children that are just as capable of ushering in Suna's doom as their youngest sibling is. Third, Kankurou is the overlooked middle child who just wants to play with his baby brother. Remember these facts. They're important. Especially the third one.

On an Inquisition trip to Starkhaven, Varric gets the idea in his head to introduce the subjects of his next novel to his girlfriend without the distraction of having to save the world. He may come to regret this.

Once upon a time, Harry Potter hid for two hours from Dudley in a chemistry classroom, while a nice graduate student explained about the scientific method and interesting facts about acids. A pebble thrown into the water causes ripples. Contains, in no particular order: magic candymaking, Harry falling in love with a house, evil kitten Draco Malfoy, and Hermione attempting to apply logic to the wizarding world.

The best revenge is living well. And maybe also spitefully staging a minor political coup to take over Konoha as payback for getting stuck in an arranged marriage.

Later, Dora would think back on it and realise that clinically speaking, she had died.

Omegas are inviting. Warm. The heart of pack life. Tsuna never believed he'd be any of those things. (Omega Tsuna, warm and wonderful but entirely unaware of it, unwittingly draws others to him and inspires unwavering loyalty.) No Mafia. Tsuna's "Family" is just his patchwork pack of similarly damaged children. Lots of platonic pack feels and bonding. Endgame Tsuna/Hibari.

Sawada Tsunayoshi is born an Omega in a world that expects nothing from his dynamic except submission. Tsuna is many things – hopeless klutz, booksmart-deficient, heir to a bloodline some people would like to keep secret – but, as it turns out, ‘submissive’ is not one of them.

In which Xanxus has been hiding that he's a Home Sky - and Tsuna's his War Sky.

"Reborn!" "You weren't taking your training seriously, and I decided to take a leaf out of your current favourite manga, Dame-Tsuna. You should recognise the game." "You didn't." He'd been reading Sword Art Online, and of course Reborn would think that full immersion into a video game was a fantastic idea.

The first thing Ben does when they land is punch Klaus. The second thing he does is hug him.

Klaus, he reads, fingers shaking along the edge of the page of his sister's book, was a very eccentric child. He could also see ghosts. This, he thinks, is very spot on. (Klaus outs himself on live television when he’s fourteen, and the past never really goes away. Publicity's a bitch.)

“This isn’t going to work,” Diego said, once everyone had stopped moaning on the grass and/or throwing up.

Vanya was never the only one that felt lonely and uncared for in this family. Klaus has some things to say before she tries to bring this world to an end. And hey, maybe those things will convince her not to.

“Why would you do that?” Vanya asks. “After what I did to you-” “There’s not that many people who can understand how it feels to be raised by Reginald Hargreeves, you know,” Klaus contributes. “If you’re gone too, who are we going to tell our trauma to? A therapist? Ha. Hard pass.” “But I-” Vanya starts to protest, but then Allison’s arms are slung around her shoulders, and she buries her face in her hair, and for a second Ben lets himself hope everything will be alright in the end. (Once again, the Umbrella Academy saves the day - not that the day cares much about it one way or another.)

They’d been back in time for less than a month when their father forced Klaus back into the mausoleum. But maybe this time his family can do the right thing.

“So,” Klaus announced and clapped his hands together, “What’s the plan, team? Champagne and confetti? Shots? How are we celebrating the not-end of the world?” “We’re thirteen, dipshit,” Diego responded, and then took a moment to process that for himself. “Fuck.” Number Five looked like he wanted to say something along the lines of “Now you know how I feel”, but he was man enough not to. Klaus applauded him in his head. He wouldn’t have had the restraint. - Or, the Hargreeves siblings after the apocalypse.

Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number 5's parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.

"You wanna tell me what's fucking going on here, Half and Half, cause you look like shit and you smell even worse." Todoroki has been hiding his omega status for years, but one night his suppressants stop working. Fighting against the heat, Bakugou finds him and attempts to tell him off.

Tsuna’s first thought when he woke up to a white hospital room and the beeping of machines was “at least I’m not in a coffin this time.” “… What?” Oh. He’d said that out loud. Reborn would’ve shot him if he’d been there.

The thing about Tsuna’s life was that it could never just be normal.