The Avengers hold interventions a la How I Met Your Mother.

N/A (title really says it all)

Parker walks in on Eliot pleasuring himself but doesn't realize. She decides to stay and chat. Eliot isn't happy

"I think we've encountered something that's more in line with your job description than ours," Eliot said. "Could you get out to DC soon? Like now?"

"You will not encounter any rustic taverns, bards, or bowls of stew on these tours! Instead, expect nightclubs, rock singers, and lots of gourmet coffee."

There is something dangerous inside of Q.

Derek Hale is one half of indie duo Girls and the Dogs. He spent his late teens drinking and fucking his way around small clubs over the world, but now he is sober, sick of touring, and has rules. Or one rule at least, no hook ups on tour. When the guy with the impossibly tight t-shirt who calls himself Stiles follows him back to his bus one night after a show in London, he’s in no danger of breaking his rules because as Stiles quite categorically states, he is straight. Right… good luck with that Derek… Tagged with: Boy band AU, human AU, Europe, Coming Out, First Time, Romance, powerbottom!Derek, Indie Music

It's one thing to attract the attention of the alpha pack moving in on Beacon Hills, but when Stiles' magic reveals he's not just the resident magic user in town, he realizes there might be more to the Little Red nickname he's adopted as his own.

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

this marks the...fifth attempt at acceding to puckling's kind request to tell her more about Sidney Crosby: Master BAKER (I double-checked, it was very clearly Sidney mastering the culinary arts, and nothing else). -missmollyetc

SUCK IT, TJ OSHIE.

A fourth episode, beginning where the third ended. In which Sherlock and John play the cards dealt to them; featuring running, puzzles, running, a card game analogy, and more running.

Author's Summary: Patrick writes his name on Jonny's to-send Christmas cards. It leads to feelings.

Of course he’d have his big gay revelation about his former teammate, in Columbus, during the middle of the fucking zombie apocalypse. That is the life of Jeff fucking Carter, as fucked up and pathetic as humanly possible.

Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Bucky discovers Steve was hiding in the wardrobe.

Totally, of course. A sex alien named Gerard dropped out of the sky to watch him jerk off. No way is his brain making this shit up.

"This feast is a most important holiday for Midgardians," Thor says. "It is the subject of many movies and songs! I wish to know more about it, so that I may better understand your culture, my friends!"

In his rational mind, Rodney knew that following a girl who'd dumped you was really, really pathetic.

That's not how fate works.

"You could introduce yourself. It's been a week. I've had dates put out faster than this."

Future fic: Lex gets everything he ever wanted, not that he'd ever admit he wanted what he gets. This story is purely self-indulgent, I just wanted to write something cheerful. Don't expect anything serious or meaningful in this story.

Since he's been out, the only person Neal's been straight with is June, and only because she saw through him in less than a minute. She was an older, wiser Kate. So he told her everything.

They haven't exactly met in linear order, Neal and the Doctor, but sometimes that makes for the best kind of friendship.

Arthur has been his editor from the beginning. Eames says he won't work with anyone else, and what Arthur will never tell him is that he would cut anyone who tried.

Mr. Darling dreams.

Kaner's really excited about getting a room of his own on road trips now, but the first night alone isn't as much fun as he'd hoped.

Kaner tries to fuck his way out of love. That goes as well as you might imagine. That's my summary. But liketheroad's summary is also applicable: In which THERE IS A BACHELOR AUCTION TO SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES OF CHICAGO AND TAZER IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE THOSE PUPPIES AND KANER TRIES TO FUCK HIS WAY OUT OF LOVE BUT OH TOO BAD FOR YOU KANER, YOU HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THAT.

In a world where Sentinels, people with five heightened senses, bond mentally and spiritually with Guides, people gifted with empathetic powers, Tony Stark has spent thirty-three years overwhelmed by the emotions of those around him and running from his own. Sentinel Steve Rogers wakes up sixty years out of his own time and struggles to deal with the massive amount of new sensory input while trying to find his footing in a New York very different from the one he knew. When they finally find each other, how will their bond change them?

Okay, she thinks, in a zen-like state of calm: given a chump assignment, she not only managed to fall in a well, she somehow dragged Captain America--living legend, supersoldier, level 7 SHIELD consultant, and Avenger--down with her. This means two things: 1) Captain America knows who she is now, and thinks she’s a dumbass, and 2) SHIELD is probably going to make her disappear as punishment (likely by throwing her in another, deeper well and pretending she never existed). “Don’t mind me,” she says faintly. “I’m just gonna drown myself now.”

Derek is thrown into a violent heat in the wake of Lydia and Peter's actions at the end of Party Guessed. Debilitated by his own needs, Derek reaches out to Stiles, the only person he wants and can hope to trust.

“You should come with me, you know,” Kaner says slowly, unclear how many drinks they’ve had at this point, or when they’d actually ditched the rest of the guys at the bar and ended up cabbing it to Johnny’s place. New Moon Shine: Stiles loves new moon nights. That One Time Tazer Got a Black Eye: That one time Tazer got a black eye. It takes an ocean not to break: “Come with you where?” “To the bathroom, Johnny,” Kaner says, rolling his eyes. “To Europe, ass.”

#no seriously #where’s the au #where some witches or warlocks or something turn stiles into a cat #and he lurks in wait in the abandoned train station #waiting for derek to walk by so stiles can blitz-attack his ankles

Stiles has been getting gifts lately… a lot of them.

In a world where Derek lets Scott kill the Alpha and get the cure, he has to figure out how to rebuild his life, with help from Stiles.

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.

"I accept your body!" Stiles says hurriedly. "I accept you. Sexually." There is a pause. Derek says, "Thanks." A surprise comedy knotting story. You have a lot to answer for, Twitter fandom.

Hear His Alibis: creepy never looked so cute - or, how Sheriff Stiles accidentally adopted a juvenile offender. (another) pyromaniac au. Multiplied By Seven:Derek isn't exactly like other people. Stiles doesn't say that because he's in love with him, or whatever. He's not like Scott, who thinks Allison hung the freaking moon, or was the first girl to ever let a guy under her bra. Derek isn't like other people. Sometimes he's not exactly sane. psychopaths in love - the story from Derek & Stiles's side. companion fic to 'hear his alibis

Movie nights with Kaner become a thing once they begin to get recognized enough that physically going to the movies means he spends a couple of days waiting for the Deadspin exposé entitled Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane Have Terrible Taste in Movies, Each Other to hit the internet.

This is like the pre-credits sequence of every horror movie, he's probably going to be eaten before the main character is even introduced.

Danny is bruised. Their werewolf drama has officially bruised Danny. This is the worst day ever.

Natasha hadn't exactly planned on ending the evening stuck inside a disused SHIELD bunker, but here they were, and they'd have to make the best of it.

At the end of Advent Children, Cloud is offered a choice.

"The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up."

Harry thinks, "Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?" is a much simpler question than, "Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don't, what will you do?"

"He misses his regular appointment to get shorn because he's too busy trying to keep Scott out of trouble and he starts to look a little bit like a hedgehog. By the time he misses the rescheduled appointment though, his hair's grown out enough that he really can't be bothered."

“He’s not telling us everything,” Fury reached out and shut the projection off, “I’m not comfortable with this.” Coulson didn’t respond, didn’t need to. “Let Rogers know I want Barton watched; he doesn’t go anywhere alone until we understand exactly what’s going on. I’m not losing him to some egotistical mind-f***ing blade-dancer who has mentor issues and wants to take it out on our asset.” Phil nodded efficiently. He couldn’t agree more.

"When Tony is pinned down, armourless, in a workshop during an assault on Stark/Avengers Tower, Clint is meant to be the cavalry. When he arrives, though, he finds that the enemy may have picked the wrong workshop to try and take Tony in. JARVIS, it turns out, really doesn't take prisoners. Author's Note: Clint and Tony, Tony and his babies, basically. Came out ... rather darker and more violent than I anticipated -_-; No, seriously. VIOLENT."

" Clint and Steve have both seen Natasha’s report on Tony and expect him to be a certain way. With Pepper now out of the picture, Bruce in India and Thor is Asgard they have no one to show them just how wrong first impressions can be."

Stiles gets a massage. And then some. Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.