Clint is really bad at being single. Fury hands Coulson a mission: Find Clint Barton a boyfriend.

"Why is Bruce Banner still in New York?" Fury asks, in a tone that suggests he is barely managing to exercise patience.

Pepper didn't want to know how Natasha had access to a camera overlooking the gym showers. She just wanted more margaritas.

Excitement is the last thing to cross Bruce’s mind when the teacher announces there will be a partner project and the teacher is picking the partners, thank you very much because everyone would pick their friends and no one would expand their minds at all. Bruce doesn’t know a single person in this class and he is extremely self conscious about being the only sophomore in the class. And then the teacher says “Bruce Banner and Tony Stark” and Bruce’s heart constricts. Tony lazily turns his head and figures out who he is based on the fact that he’s the only person in the room he doesn’t know. Tony saunters across the room and slides into the seat in front of him. “Are you some kind of nerd?” Tony asks him. “You’re not a junior because I know all of them so you must be a sophomore or something."

"It's a great idea," Tony said. "Fabulous," Pepper said. "I'll file it with all your other recent great ideas, like stealing cars from the Stark Formula One team and buying me a strawberry farm for my birthday."

After the events of The Avengers movie, Bruce Banner moves into the new Stark-Potts tower in downtown Manhattan. Then things take a turn for the sexy/awesome/kinky. Tony/Pepper/Bruce. Not exactly PWP, but very smut-heavy as it goes along.

Steve bit his lip, staring at the floor. Here they were, two grown men both in their pajamas, looking at a box of a friend’s sex toys in a closet in the middle of the night.

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

Where Darcy gets a day job.

Sometimes, you really can go home again.

Bizarre alien peace rituals, drunken debacles, Jim Kirk's pornography, the phrase 'bet your sweet ass' taken way too literally, bar fights, everyone's favorite Orion and super advanced sex toys of the future you wish you had now. A love story.

The idea for this flavour combination came to me in the late 80′s when I went through my “Greek Phase”. I put together coloured sweet bell peppers, purple onion, oregano, feta and I had a modern take on the Traditional Greek Salad. This was a very special salad in “those days”! The raspberry vinaigrette added the je ne c’est quoi that compelled everyone to eat a bite more than usual, and to dunk their bread in the dressing to slurp up the last cheesy bits. This became a dinner staple around our house for years, and a company favourite. We three gals (my two daughters, and I) could never get enough of it; people raved; I glowed in pride. And, today, I still make it, regularly. Nothing has changed except that I make my own vinaigrettes, and love to throw in fresh raspberries if I have them on hand. Pucker perfect!

It's not all bad when Jim and Leonard awake in a strange room containing a large pool of water - until the tentacles start appearing.

After the fighting is over, then come the hot baths, ice packs, resurrection from the dead, political maneuvering, and happy endings (not like that, Tony).

He's not a bird. He's a human. He just likes to be alone.

He's not cute anymore, is the thing. He's not small and scrawny and bug-eyed with shock, standing there like a tool as a water-holding device plummets down to become his new hat. He's… He's… Prowly.

You are watching Dave Strider make out with himself, and now you understand why people stand on the beach and take pictures of an oncoming tsunami instead of running for high ground. You physically cannot look away from this, let alone leave.

After three years out of contact, John and Karkat can finally talk again. The conversation doesn't go quite the way they were expecting. Now the three weeks it will take the golden ship to match velocities with the asteroid seem like three million. Why are the laws of physics so unkind to desperate teenaged boys? [an antidote to sadstuck! if this is not the fluffiest, most sentimental xenoporn ever written, i will eat my writekind specibus.]

Karkat has been acting strange lately -- calm, unflappable, and sometimes even smiling dreamily at nothing -- and while it's something of a respite from his usual yelling, it's gone on long enough the others are concerned. They make vague plans to find out just what the hell is going on, but John, as the only person who can still get under Karkat's skin, decides on a direct approach... and discovers some very interesting things indeed about his favorite shouty troll and his unnerving moirail.

'There was only one thing worse than Dave Strider's smug motherfucker act, and it was his smug motherfucker act after he'd won a bet.' In which Karkat has lost a bet to Dave and turns paying up into payback.

John introduces his best human friend to his best troll friend. Maybe the three of them sit down to watch romcoms, maybe they're just hanging around a lab in the veil, but whatever the circumstance, Dave has trouble paying attention to the conversation at hand. Karkat is good looking and distracting and it's just not fair. Naturally, he begins distracting Karkat while John's talking. Little touches, lip licks, etc. Karkat gets flustered, Dave is thrilled, John is oblivious. It turns into a competition to see who can flirt the most without alerting John to their UST-fueled game.

EB: WHEN I SAID OKAY FINE JADE LET'S TRY TO **DISCREETLY** PUT OUT FEELERS I DIDN'T MEAN GO RIGHT UP TO HIM AND ASK HIM POINT BLANK IF HE'D LIKE TO STAR IN HIS OWN KINKTASTIC ALIEN PORNO!!!!!!!! GG: >:/ oh yes because "btw do you have a gf" totally means "hey do you wanna be the yummy filling in a twin sandwich" in normal people land. dont be a buttface, john!! >:( Sequel to Adventures in Collaborative Storytelling.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:45 -- GG: hey john, i thought you were going to bed early! EB: nd she kissed him full on the mouth with lots of to EB: GAH GG: :O ??? EB: damn it jade, you and your ninja windows! pretend you didn't see anything okay.

Dave has a thing for large breasts. Jade discovers she does too.

The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels... But turns out he's also a great fuck.

"The first watch keeps the correct time. Always. Terezi tried starting out of sync the third time they played this game, but without that one thread of the right beat to cling to, the grating wrongness of the other watches knocked Dave out of the mood long before he could hit trance state." Terezi/Dave, idiosycratic forms of bondage.

Prompt: Let's have a thing where going God Tier has made the humans' genetic material and other bodily fluids sparkly and rainbow colored. Then let's take that thing and make it into another thing where we see the reactions of all the trolls to this. GOGOGO!

Wherein Karkat Vantas asks Dave Strider an important question about quadrants and romantic intentions; after much soul-searching and random digression, Dave gives him an unexpected answer; and Terezi Pyrope's approval is sought for potential kinky shenanigans.

Wherein the beta kids have an agreement to form a sedoretu once they're old enough, as told in a series of standalone pesterlogs. Part 1 - Dave, Rose, Jade, and John meet in a chat room on Jade's thirteenth birthday to talk about nothing in particular. Sequel here: http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/38154.html?thread=39650570

No. Tony. NO! You can NOT adopt him! He has to go back where he came from. (He’s got a steady girlfriend for crying out loud.)

Everyone has a part of themselves that others don't always get to see.

Teen Wolf/SGA team-fic, with Lydia being awesome. “This is a terrible idea,” Stiles tells the room again. “You’ll all be sorry when Derek pushes me off a cliff.”

Making a dick joke was a strategic error. You put the subject on the metaphorical table. You're now thinking about troll dick.

Antonia Carter Stark takes no shit and no prisoners.

Stephanie Rogers isn't happy to be in the 21st century, but she's even less thrilled to be on a team with Antonia Stark who seems as spoiled and self-centered as people come. She and Tony do their best to ignore each other, until their mutual insomnia (read: nightmares) causes them to bond over the new American pastime: late night television watching.

What do you do with your own cadaver? Not to mention the bodies of your friends and guardians? A story of the first days traveling the yellow yard.

Karkat has gone really still. He opens his mouth. Closes his mouth. Opens his mouth-- "No. On second thought, no. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking when I said I would do this. I have never had even the slightest desire to do this." "Uh," John says. "Okay?"

John and Vriska wake up in bed together after a party. Can their bropalship survive in the wake of alcohol and hormones?

You lose your pale virginity to John Egbert at a Gamzee Makara party.

Twelve kids. Four trolls. Twelve guardians, four ancestors, one doloros, four lusii, seventeen lands, one megaplanet, one session, one two three one team. One more chance to win.

He wears the denim skirt because it's stiff enough at the waist to hide a lack of hips and pulls tight enough on the back when he bends over that his ass looks fantastic.

Karkat can feel the press of John’s arousal against one of his arms. His fingers twitch and reach helplessly, but his limbs are pushed as far as they can go. John chuckles against his shoulder, aware of Karkat’s efforts, and noses against the troll’s ear, warm breaths ghosting against sensitive flesh. “You’re so, well, eager like this, Karkat!”

Karkat is failing programming, English 101, and laundry. John can smell weakness, and like the best palhoncho he attacks weakness with friendship, relentless and obnoxious friendship. He has, however, delegated all of the butt touching to Jade and Dave.

Dave never asked to be part of the Brady Bunch. This whole 'normal' thing is harshing his groove, really getting his non-ironic goat. John, of course, is delighted. (Post-game slice of life fic, cheerfully assumes a happy ending.)

In which there are parties, awkwardness and orgasms.

John discovers a new and MUCH more entertaining way to fill his prankster's gambit.

Man, Dave thought getting through adolescence was a pain in the ass for HUMANS. He had no idea how good they have it, until he saw what trolls got to go through.