Five people who (sort of) learn how Wei Ying became pregnant, and one person who doesn't. (Alternate title: How Lan Qiren lived on in ignorant bliss)

“Thank you all for coming,” Lan Xichen said, pouring tea for the other three people at the table. “I think you all know why I’ve asked you to gather here today.” “Sure,” Nie Mingjue said, accepting the cup. “Because our younger siblings have decided to join together to become a criminal gang.” “That seems like an unduly harsh way to put it,” Jiang Yanli murmured, inclining her head in thanks to Lan Xichen as she took her own. “After all, they’re helping people, aren’t they?” Wen Qing huffed. “Leverage,” she drawled. “If I ever find out who gave them that idea…!”

“You are never allowed to do this again,” Jiang Cheng’s mother said, her voice harsh in the way that means she was scared, because she hated being scared. “Never again, you hear me?” “I hear you, a-niang,” Jiang Cheng said. “Did it live?” “Yes, of course it lived,” Madame Yu snapped. “You’re the one that nearly died! You can’t – death-sharing is a rare gift, A-Cheng, but you can’t use it too often, you hear me? Every time you use it, your own life gets shorter. You must never do it again. And you mustn’t tell anyone else about it! No one at all! Swear to me!” “I swear,” he said. “No one at all.”

MDZS ships, and a headcanon for each one

The healers said it was trauma. Perhaps he was too young, or too sensitive; perhaps it was only that it had happened in such a way, at such an impressionable time – in any event, Lan Wangji’s reactions to his mother’s death had gone well beyond the normal signs of grief and turned into something much more severe. After some intense discussion, it was agreed that he should be temporarily sent to live as a guest in another sect to see if he would benefit from the change of scenery. From not being around the place where he was drowning in the memories of his mother. They sent him to the Jiang Sect.

Jin Ling has had it up to here with the Jin Sect. Fuck these morons. He doesn't have to put up with this shit. Jiujiu is never going to marry, anyways. He's gonna need an heir for his respectable sect. Jin Ling volunteers. Wei Wuxian is in deep doodoo. 1. Quit Your Job as The Youngest Sect Leader in History. 2. Buy Lots of Donkeys in Revenge for Losing Your 'Trophy Husband' title. 3.Ban Gold Bathtubs Because You Can't Break Them. 4.Raise Dumbass Disciples and Make Up with Your Estranged Brother Through Shared Misery 5.Slightly Change an Entire Market by Making One Thoughtless Comment 6.Wake the Elders Because You Decided to Teach The Disciples a Curse in the Middle of the Night

“Qing-jie,” Wen Chao called, laughing; Wang Lingjiao at his side was positively cackling, tears in her eyes. “We found you a husband to match you, Qing-jie – look at him, a perfect fit for you: beautiful and useless! Say ‘thank you, Wen-gongzi’.” Jiang Cheng might be beautiful, underneath the tears and the blood that covered him, the ruin of his chest and back, the bruises that stained his flesh, but his eyes were empty and dull – as dead as the golden core inside of him that was no more. That wasn’t something her medicine could fix, even if Wen Chao would be inclined to let her try. “Thank you, Wen-gongzi,” Wen Qing said politely. “Do you want me to take him out of your sight?”

Nie Mingjue and Baxia have always been close. Maybe a little too close. (Nie Mingjue watched as his body leaped to the side, avoiding the beast’s charge – the movements were a little jerky, he thought, and Baxia sent some frustration back that he thought might roughly translate to listen it’s a new body and I’m trying here if she were capable of speech – and then spinning around, leaping up, and then bringing him - Nie-Mingjue-the-saber, that is - down on the beast.)

he's bored

wangxian modern au where wei wuxian and lan wangji meet again in the library, where they are spying on their respective children to make sure no one is mean to them and they bond over being overbearing guardians

Lan Xichen did his best to like most people, to give them the benefit of the doubt whenever possible – truly, he did. He even thought he was mostly successful at it, purposefully looking at Sect Leader Yao’s boorish nosiness as well-meant although ill-executed sympathy or Sect Leader Ouyang’s tendency to follow the crowd as a sense of fellow-feeling taken to an extreme. And yet – He was certain that there was something wrong with Meng Yao.

When Lan Wangji ran away from the jingshi to look for himself, his back still raw, and on Yiling he found only a small child, feverish but still capable of a little bit of babbling, still able to tell the story of what had happened – when he found the traces of blood on the ground, Wei Wuxian’s from when his power had backlashed on him – when he saw the bodies in the blood pool, already rotting – For the first time in his life, Lan Wangji didn’t want to go home. (what if he had another option?)

When Jiang Yanli joins Jiang Cheng in visiting Wei Wuxian at the Burial Grounds, the two brothers are on the verge of cutting ties forever — until Jiang Yanli has a better idea. Wei Wuxian doesn't need to leave the sect. He needs to get married, and she has the perfect Sect Leader in mind. When Lan Wangji is invited to come along on Wei Wuxian's visit to the Unclean Realm to spend time with his new betrothed, Nie Mingjue, he agrees — even though his heart is breaking. How else is he ever going to see Wei Wuxian again? When Nie Mingjue welcomes Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji into his home, he realizes two things very quickly: 1.) They clearly want each other so badly they can barely stand it, and 2.) Nie Mingjue is Into That. (In which arranged marriage to Nie Mingjue solves just about everyone's problems)

It was Wei Wuxian’s idea, of course. Jiang Yanli’s big didi was brilliant and talented beyond measure, as reckless and impertinent in his thoughts as he was in every other way, just as her little didi was earnest and soft-hearted and dutiful, the outlines of the serious man he’d become when he grew up just barely visible underneath the baby fat that still lingered in his cheeks. It was Wei Wuxian’s idea, but it was Jiang Cheng that made Jiang Yanli decide to use it.

“It’s just in case,” Jiang Cheng said. “A-Cheng…” Jiang Yanli said, smiling helplessly. Her little brother was all grown up now and pretending like it was his duty to be protective of her, rather than the other way around. “A-Cheng, it’s really not necessary. I’m going to my own engagement dinner – I don’t think anyone’s going to cause trouble.” It turns out, Jiang Yanli thought later as she looked at the dead body in the corner of her bedroom, that she'd underestimated her soon-to-be father-in-law.

“It’s not wrong if you write it down,” Mo Xuanyu muttered to himself like a mantra as he scribbled down a rough explanation of what he was going to do. “If you write it down, it’s just an experiment, and that makes it okay.” That’s what they used to say back at Koi Tower, back when they were doing all those bad things. They also said that you’re supposed to try stuff out before you do the real thing, because practice makes perfect. And anyway, surely it wouldn't hurt to put the cat in the middle of the body-sacrificing array before he put himself in - the array ran on resentment, on revenge, and how much resentment could a cat possibly have?

Wen Qing: okay so like Wen Qing: were either of you going to warn me Wen Qing: that Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian were Like That? Jin Zixuan: oh no Lan Wangji: I take it you had your first Family Dinner. Lan Wangji: I apologize for the lapse.

Nie Huaisang rather liked their Neighbors. He was aware that that was widely viewed as being a little bit odd of him, but it wasn’t any more odd than his general distaste for training his saber – though combined with his passion for pretty things, fans and clothing and paintings and birds, more than one person had not-so-subtly implied that they thought Nie Huaisang might be a changeling. (They only ever implied it once – Nie Mingjue seemed to have an extra sense for finding out when people were being cruel to his brother, and no hesitation whatsoever about beating the living daylights out of them when he did.)

"You're sure this is okay?" Yibo mumbles now, curling his knees beneath his chin on the toilet seat. "You don't have to check in with me every time," Xiao Zhan says, sounding warm over the fuzzy connection. His face is clear and his eyes are bright. Yibo feels himself relaxing. "Just tell me all about it later, yeah?"

Meng Yao goes into heat while working as Sect Leader Nie’s assistant. Nie Mingjue shares his heat and Meng Yao ends up pregnant. Both believing the other regrets what happened, they end up in a marriage of convenience with all the misunderstandings and lack of proper communication to follow. Then Lan Xichen arrives in the Unclean Realm at the end of Meng Yao’s pregnancy and things get even more complicated.

so what if modern nie sect BUT with tattoos (and nmj’s got “dage” tattooed on his forearm with baby nhs’s writing) (nhs started with making projects for his friends and afmily and for fun and eventually became tattoo artist himself)

In that scene when JC hallucinates his family at Lotus Pier, do you think it’s a memory or what he /wishes/ had happened? Because I remember in the novel it said that the number of times JFM picked him up could be counted on one hand or something, but in the hallucination he’s very physically affectionate with JC

[*standing alone and stunned with an armful of Feelings™* Uhhh…] This is not what they wanted, and it’s almost enough that they both know that. Yanli knows that it’s not fair, because she has come out with the better half of the bargain–she gets to stay at Lotus Pier with her brothers, her people, her home. Jin Guangyao has been married off, outside of his Clan, practically abandoned to the plain faced sister of a Sect Leader; the second choice after his older brother’s engagement to her fell through with devastating finality. She doesn’t know if that bothers him–it would have driven A-Cheng to near lunacy, had the same happened to him. But Jin Guangyao has been patient in all of their meetings, his manner pleasant, his smile gentle.

The fact that Wei WuXian is still empathizing with Nie MingJue during this scene leads me to believe that Nie MingJue was, perhaps, not a fierce corpse. He was still very much alive even if it was a strange half-life. Jin GuangYao also orders Xue Yang to kill him (They use Baxia! How evil can you get!?) and you can’t kill someone that isn’t alive/is already dead. So CQL Nie MingJue did not die by qi deviation. He died by decapitation.

Nie Mingjue A northern soldier. Old with a grey beard, Baxia took his head clean off.

AU where NHS gathered his resources sooner so the sacrificial ritual happens when MXY is still a Jin disciple who wanted revenge on JGS and JGY. WWX wakes up amidst a bloody array in Jinlintai, and his first thought upon recognizing his surroundings is to look for Jin Ling.

I'm so thirsty for 3zun nsfw arts so I'm fucking making my own food to feed me and my thirsty ass fellas join me in my road to 100 3zun nsfw arts, let dage and erge fuck the evil out of the twink! 1. double penetration 2. blow jobs 3. blow job and penetration 4. masturbation 5. commission art (nieyao) 6. dage and erge forces meng yao's flexibility in good use 7. Office AU porn (xiyao)

Nie Huaisang would do anything to help his brother. Now he knows the very thing required, and it forces every choked, desperate thought to the surface. Everything hiding beneath 'Da-ge smiled at me' rises forcefully up through him so that his mouth is filled with the taste of wanting. Yes, Nie Huaisang would do anything to help his brother, but especially this.

His was a boutique-y set-up, the sixth branch of Cultivation, a fairly successful local corporation, tucked away in between the hills of their city. Song Lan owns a plant shop and takes care of all things living. A reincarnation AU.

Nie Mingjue's mustache deserves to be classed as a spiritual tool. Or 5+1 times someone appreciated Nie Mingjue's facial hair for Reasons.

Four worlds in which Jin Guangyao married Jiang Yanli

In which Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen discover something very interesting about the Nie sect, and what exactly a "qi deviation" means when it comes to the main Nie clan. ...also, tigers.

Mingjue takes up baking, and Huaisang suffers terribly for it.

Lan Wangji is going to die. Lan Wangji is going to die, and it isn’t even a hyperbole; she is entirely ready to collapse in her seat like a marionette with its strings cut off. The vibrator inside her pulses, and Lan Wangji can barely stop herself from lurching forward and letting out a loud groan. She resists a glance at the row of seats behind her; she knows that Wei Ying is there, watching, and she isn’t entirely sure she isn’t going to come at the sight of Wei Ying’s lazy little smirk. Truly—the things Wei Ying has made her do—shameless. (or; Lan Wangji wears a vibrator to class at the behest of her fuckbuddy Wei Ying, and it ends up a lot hotter and more emotional for both of them.)

the power of dick saves the cultivation world SAY HELLO TO MY DUAL CULTIVATION AGENDA

Nie Huaisang loves beautiful things, and plucking game birds is an exercise in destroying something beautiful. After which it's an exercise in picking off tiny bits of fluffy down that hide in the crevices and don't want to come out, and that's just annoying. He might hate doing this, but he does know how, so the motions come easily. The Nie were butchers, after all.

There was another boy there at the base of the balcony outside of Meng Shi's window, where Meng Yao liked to sit: a boy few years older than him, taller, in finely made clothing that would normally make Meng Yao itch all over in futile envy, but the other boy’s eyes were white around the edges in a way that was immediately, painfully familiar. “Someone’s chasing you?” Meng Yao asked, and the boy’s eyes widened even further, surprised, but he nodded in confirmation. “There’s a trellis around the left side – can you climb up? I'll hide you.” "Thanks," the boy said, later, once the man he called Wen Ruohan had left. "My name is Nie Mingjue. What's yours?"

It had always been something of a behind-closed-doors debate – a chicken-and-the-egg problem, what came first, what was the cause and what was the symptom. Was the Nie sect’s atypical cultivation method the reason behind the notorious Nie temper? Or were they born with the temper, and the cultivation method merely built upon that? Which one was the reason for their clan’s tendency towards early qi deviations? Nie Huaisang usually threw his money on the “blame the cultivation style”, almost entirely for the sake of pissing off his brother. He was starting to think, though, that he’d been wrong.

By everyone’s agreement (except his own), Wen Ning was the sect leader. Of course, practically speaking, Nie Mingjue actually ran everything; he was the one with the experience in it, after all, and he claimed he was no good at teaching, which was the other thing they generally did. Other than, you know, the whole...fierce corpse thing.

Jiang Yanli: Hi everyone! We have a new member of the Official Big Siblings Group! 😊 Jin Zixuan: Thank you for inviting me. Jin Zixuan: I didn't know you all had a group chat. Nie Mingjue: have you met our little siblings? of course we have a group chat Lan Xichen: I'm sure you will be an admirable addition to our ranks. 😊 Wen Qing: And we can only hope your little sibling(s?) don't create as much chaos as ours. Jin Zixuan: Well... or: the Big Siblings OT4

Indulging oneself in pleasure is forbidden at the Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian doesn’t realize how serious they are about that rule until he’s sent to the cold springs, however. Alternatively, this is what it feels like to take Lan Wangji to pieces.

When Wangxian decide they can't even wait a day to get married Jiang Cheng is faced with attempting the impossible: planning a wedding in a matter of hours. - “Uh, um, hi, Jiang Cheng, we were just, um, we have to go, it’s really important—” And he actually tried to sneak past him, Lan Zhan’s wrist caught in his hand as he was willingly dragged along. “So you’re getting married, huh?” Jiang Cheng said, his voice poisonously sweet. Wei Ying flinched guiltily. “You’re on your way to the courthouse now? How nice. Hey, just quickly before you go Wei Ying, do you remember what I said I’d do to the next man to make a-jie cry?” “...you’d...you’d pull his—” “I’d pull his spine out through his dick, yes.”

Jiang Yanli lifted her eyes up to Madam Jin and said, calmly, as if from a hundred miles away, “I am a daughter of the Yu sect. Did he think my mother only taught me how to pour tea?” Or: the AU in which Jin Guangshan targets Jiang Yanli and she kills him before he can ruin everything.

"I will live in thy heart sleeve, (never) die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes, and moreover, I will go with thee to the extremely boring cultivation conference." –The Yiling Laozu, probably. Wei Wuxian needs a new workshop. Lan Wangji has room in his qiankun sleeves.

“Well, I don't see it,” Huaisang had said, and then he'd shoved his hand down the front of his pants right there in front of Nie Mingjue. “I—oh, I have the other thing now,” he said, and he sounded...intrigued. Nie Mingjue had quickly excused himself.

Canon: The Untamed Jiang Yanli didn’t know Nie Huaisang very well. He’d been close with A-Xian and A-Cheng during their time in the Cloud Recesses, but Jiang Yanli was older and had made her own friends at the time; she’d pretended ignorance of her brothers’ and Nie Huaisang’s antics, while engaging in some (much subtler and better-hidden) antics of her own. She had remained in touch with the young women who had been her friends from the lectures right up until the Wens came to Lotus Pier. Her last letter to Ouyang Anzheng had gone out right before she and her father left for Lanling.

The last year before Jin Zixuan figures out that his father will only ever love him as an accessory to his power is also the year that he meets Luo Qingyang. For a long time, he thinks of it as the last truly happy year of his life. The Luos are a long-time family of the Jin sect. Most of them live in Lanling City, although there are a few cousins living farther out in the more rural areas. It is to these cousins that Jin Zixuan will go to learn to ride horses the year he turns eleven.

A dancing demon? Some kid is dreamin'? Whatever the mystery, the gang will work together and figure it out in the end!

“I didn’t know Mistress Jiang’s expertise extended to medicine,” Lan Xichen commented, a little breathless from the pain of his injury. Jiang Yanli smiled up at him – kind and gentle and just a little mischievous – and suddenly he was a little more breathless than before. How had he never spent time with this remarkable woman before?

Under normal circumstances, he would have never thought of trying something like this, but his husband had run off his mouth while they were being intimate and it had made Lan Wangji very aware of a desire he had never known he had. It was something he had been unable to put out of his mind for over a week. The thought of it made his body warm and eager, and the images his mind conjured were more than enough to make him seek pleasure at odd times, to Wei Wuxian’s great delight. Tonight, he’d surprise him by making his words come true.