This story starts, as many of the greatest stories in history do, with a talking frog. You could argue that it starts sometime before that, with a vampire that's been turned into a puppet. According to Eliot, the word again should be tagged onto the end of that sentence. Or you could argue that it starts with that said puppet walking into a bar.

"We have the technology. We have the capability... Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster." Notes: Hardison's story, companion to The Empath. Thanks to [info]hannasus for the beta.

"One should always look for any possible alternative to the exercise of destructive magic, for to be forced into the position of having to use it is a position of weakness." Notes: Takes place before The Empath and We Can Rebuild Him.

Leverage, OT3, five times Nate (or Sophie) thought that Hardison, Eliot and Parker were sleeping together, and one time that they actually were.

Leverage, Eliot + team, Eliot confesses to the team that he's an undercover federal agent

Author's choice; author's choice; "It was sex pollen, I swear!"

“I want to make Naruto my heir,” Kakashi said bluntly.

I've seen some great girl!Stiles fic, but I'm really curious to see some girl!Derek fic. Can be gen or Derek/Stiles (and if anon wants to make Stiles a girl, too, I wouldn't complain...)

"What, you don't roll around with all your clothes on when you're having sex?" Darren asks, and Chris snorts into his shoulder. "Because that's, like, the only way I'll do it. Either roll or go home."

It doesn't matter who you are; eventually, everyone's past catches up to them. This is Steve's side of the story Ready, Fire, Aim; you should probably read that before you read this.

In which Captain America can do (almost) anything, and Tonk Stark has daddy issues--who's surprised? Y'all can read this as being in the same 'verse as Ready, Fire, Aim, or not; to be honest, I haven't decided myself if it is or isn't.

Prompt: Loki is finally captured and sent to Asgard to await his judgement. Since Thor cannot leave Earth -invoke reason x- all the Avengers go to Asgard to make sure Loki doesn't escape. They think Loki is going to end in some Asgardian version of a cell but instead Odin decides on some horrible punishment -fastening a venomous snake over Loki's face, sealing Loki's lips shut, etc- and they are horrified. Tony refuses to let Loki go and basically yells at Odin for being the worst possible father. Cue Loki being confused about why they would defend him and the Avengers realizing how fucked up his childhood might have been.

All that counts is here and now.

Steve has an apology to make.

Prompt: Based on this: http://cap-ironman.tumblr.com/post/11963945223/ironfries-because-ill-always-love-you Steve Rogers finds (in the mansion or in the tower) some old robot that Tony built when he was a child. The robot says things like: "I love you" and gives little hugs. And then angsty (or not) fluff ending. It can be slash or gen.

Phil shouldn’t let it get to him, except that it does.

Saving And Being Saved: "Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care." Fangs Up: "Someone finally takes notice of the fact that Gabe Saporta says he spoke to a snake." One Man Band: "It takes Spencer a while to figure it out, but he doesn't let it change how he behaves when he does." Patrick Stump's Strip Joint, or The One Where They're All Strippers Apart From Patrick Who Has Taken Up Handicrafts (Not Like That): "The one where they're all (pretty terrible) strippers, Patrick owns the strip joint, and his therapist has suggested he take up a hobby."

William Beckett vs Ryan Ross. This is Thunderdome

Coulson figures it out through standard procedure (rumor mill to threatening junior agents to that required weird conversation with one’s boss).

As good as you get: "The problem was, really, Kris Allen was a tease." If You Can't See Where It Keeps Its Brain: "The Sorting Hat has its own agenda." I Woke Up In Love This Morning: He was hazy, half-asleep and incredibly comfortable and still half-lost in the most amazing dream. Five Reasons Xander Harris Hates Pete Wentz: If the Bandom'verse and the Buffy'verse all occupied the same 'verse, this is exactly what would have happened. red, red, gold: "Her name is Tasha Stark, and you won’t break her."

Remus runs into Severus at a party.

Jensen couldn't decide whether he was having the best week ever, or the worst.

"Clint somehow finds himself fascinated by Phil Coulson's sartorial choices. He refuses to admit that he's kind of maybe thinking about it a little too much."

Eyes ahead.

So, here it is, Idol: An AI Podfic Anthology a.k.a. The Sooper Sekrit Paraka Podfic Projekt: ~6.5 hours, 21 AI (+1 Bandom) podfics by 21 podficcers. Thank you, [info]paraka, for everything, and congratulations on 5 years!!!

"Is that a Slam Man?" Tony asks, walking a slow circle around it. "Didn't they stop making these in the 1990s?" Steve gives him a look that says he's asking the wrong person. "Right, you were. Busy. Being frozen. So why did you bring this horrifying piece of cheap crap into my shop?" Steve, who is clearly excited about his cheap crap, isn't fazed at all by Tony's criticism. "It's a boxing dummy, with lights!" he says. Tony can’t remember the last time Steve looked this excited about something. "And you can program it for your workout. It's almost a robot, right? And you build great robots." Steve gestures toward Dummy, who chirps at him and spins his end effectors, the flirt. Tony thinks Steve actually blushes. "So...can you build something like this? But better?"

It’s the giving up, the way he gives himself up to Kurt, the slackness of his muscles saying do it. Make me do it. So Kurt does.

This time instead of DMing while intoxicated Jim decides to make a call. Drunk conversation/teasing turns into ~more.

PROMPT: I just really want to see a His Dark Materials inspired fic where Tony and only Tony can see people's daemons. So, every human has one, but are completely unaware of their existence. And Tony's always been able to see them. When he was a kid it was written off as having a lot of imaginary pets/friends, but he never grew out of seeing them. And maybe he wrote it off as being partially cracked for a while, but Tony's still a scientist at heart and he's figured out how all these not-quite real animals relate to the people they follow, and uses that information to his advantage. All the time. Mostly to pick out the quickest and easiest way to piss someone off enough that they leave him alone. So, maybe Tony's kind of a spazzy genius trope because he's paying more attention to the daemons than the people in his life. And that's been fine for ages because he doesn't have to deal with a lot of people up close and personal, but now that he's an Avenger, that's changing. I have no preferences for everyone's daemons, but I do imagine Nick Fury's to be the world's most intimidating Great Horned Owl. Also, Thor does not have a daemon, which freaks Tony out to the extreme.

Tony struggles to deal with his synaesthesia most of his adult life. Can he ever find somebody who understands what he’s dealing with?

PROMPT: I think part of the reason anyone under Loki's control, Clint especially, looked so exhausted is because they were not allowed to sleep. Natasha told Clint it would take time for him to level out but even a couple of months after he hasn't. He hasn't been able to sleep and the rest of the team is starting to notice.

They were reunited a few days later in a hallway in SHIELD headquarters, outside an otherwise nondescript door that said Philip J. Coulson.

PROMPT: Loki had every intention of wreaking havoc upon Midgard the moment his suicide attempt had failed. Really. He'd planned on setting cities ablaze, smashing buildings, pillaging, all of that good stuff. Too bad he hadn't planned on the place being so FUN. Destroying City Hall? Maybe if he can squeeze it in between ikebana and his Thai cooking classes. Oh, he tries for the whole supervillain thing, but is it really his fault that he really likes going to yoga and hair products that don't require massive amounts of oils that leave him feeling greasy? Is it really his fault that manicures are so damn RELAXING and that those little Asian ladies in the salon are so charmingly adorable? Besides, his therapist says that all the rage is unhealthy. TL;DR Loki gets a therapist and finds Earth hobbies that he enjoys in between bothering his brother and his friends. SUPER BONUS: The Avengers get a petition pleading from the nail salon and his therapist and various instructors for them to please not kill him because he's a considerate customer and is actually a very nice young man.

PROMPT: Game of Thrones inspired prompt! *Spoilers for those who haven't seen the series* Loki as Daenerys and Thor as Drogo. I don't know... Loki is given to Thor by Laufey or his greedy brother's in order to gain Asgard's alliance or as a ploy and Loki's all angst and unhappy about it since he's nothing more then a thing to be sold and Thor's kind of a boar upon first impression. Thor turns out to be a great and protective husband though and Loki gains confidence and becomes a great and beloved and powerful leader in Asgard. Except there's like a way happier ending for our couple. The fic continues here: http://norsekink.livejournal.com/3938.html?thread=14596194#t14596194

Okay, so. With all the excitement that's been building over the last week or so, there seems to be an unreasonable amount of negativity coming along with it. And that just won't do! So here's what I propose: ♥an Avengers Kissing Meme♥

Darcy, Bruce, gen (first day at Stark Tower)

What it says on the tin.

Tony isn’t paying a whole lot of attention when Barton appears in his lab.

It was Captain America. Captain. Freaking. America.

Phil takes three steps forward in 2012, trips, and tumbles to his hands and knees in 1969.

Prompt: Steve thinks that he should have died all those years ago, so he gets reckless: going off to fight the bad guys on his own without back-up. Eventually, Steve gets really injured due to his dare-devil antics and the team turns to Tony to reason with Steve. Subsequently, Tony gives Steve the best pep talk of his entire life, if by pep talk you mean blow job. And then, casually, as Tony leaves, he turns and goes, "Cut this 'I wanna die' bullshit. It's not a good look for you." AND STEVE DOES.

Tony was fine. Talking to Tony about science was fine. It just felt a little bit strange to combine the two and ask to see the incredible scientific innovation that happened to reside inside of Tony’s chest.

Oh, that last art post was five months ago, wasn't it? I should fix that...

“You had me a little worried, there,” Clint says, and nods him into the hotel room. “Thought you might've gotten lost on the way in.” “Parking,” he replies, and clears his throat.

Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

BOB IN SPACE: "Bob really hated it when aliens tried to eat his team." untitled sga/bandom ficlet: "For seven days after he arrives in Atlantis, Ryan doesn't say a word to anyone." Otherworldly Experiences: "Four times Mikey ended up in the Pegasus galaxy." Like Souls That Balance Joy And Pain: "Eugene is, quite literally, tangled." All The Days We Never Lived: "Five ways that Tangled didn't end." Hell Yeah I'm the Motherfucking Princess: "Gerard is a pretty pretty princess, but a very sad one, because his parents except him to marry a prince and all the princes suck! So his only joy comes from visiting Mikey, who is accidentally a dragon, and drawing. Until one day, Frank enters his life! And suddenly, both Gerard's life and the diversionary ruffles on his pants have meaning." Blueprints For Building Better Boys: ""Eight years ago," Amanda begins, "Dr. Monae and myself began work on the ArchAndroid project. By the time they were ready, we'd designed and tested everything, right down to the cybernetics and the synthetic organs. Two months ago, we switched them on for the first time." Frank, Gerard, Ray, and Mikey are the ArchAndroids. Frank's got a faulty personality circuit, Gerard's primary memory chip is kind of temperamental, there's a bug somewhere in Mikey's speech protocol, and Ray's anger response lags like a motherfucker. They're also the world's most potty-mouthed robots, although with any luck there won't be any occasion for the world's press to find out about that." The Winner Takes It All: "It's Decaydance Stage-Gay Chicken. Let's play."