kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

"You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be difficult for three teammates and friends to figure out how they fit, both figuratively, and... not. And yet.

Rei had actually planned on studying tonight, when he invited Nagisa over.

It’s not that Nitori’s into rough play – (Except that he really, really is) – but he’s found a fascination with Rin’s smile.

“Holy fucking shit,” Levi states, examining the dick in front of him. “I take back my promise to deep-throat you. Take it way back.” “Um,” Erwin says, "That's fine."

"Armin," Eren says, flexes his hands on Armin's hips. "What. Do you. Want?"

Mutants have been extinct since the Eugenics War. But then, Jim's the exception to everything.

When Loki attempts to mind-control Tony Stark in the middle of the Chitauri invasion, he unlocks powerful memories and abilities, and Tony realises that he's something greater and more powerful than he ever knew. And so is Steve Rogers, but that's a slightly different problem.

For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

Allison is the first person he sees when he gets back.

Sakura just wants everyone to get along, almost as much as she wants to get laid.

Cards Against Humanity is not a good game to play with the Avengers, just not for the reasons that Clint was expecting.

It's three hours before JARVIS tells Steve that Tony is ready.

There are things he doesn't remember. Some of which he knows.

Being a casual drug user's best friend is the opposite of going to meetings.

It turns out that when you're almost constantly on the move, monitoring your birth control can prove to be challenging. It could happen to anyone, right? (Begins after the end of Fast Five, no spoilers for Fast and Furious Six.)

What it says on the tin. That is all.

The ability to render oneself intangible at will occasionally turns up as a superpower. These questions you have? Don't ask them. Notes: Takes place before The Empath and We Can Rebuild Him, but after Entropy and Chaos Magic.

Because apparently this is a continuing series where Leverage crosses over into everything. Where the crew meet Castiel

Written during my lunch break for my Beta Sam who asked for: Brian/Dom help Jesse calm down on one of his ‘off’ days.

Parker's cool with his body as it is; besides, sometimes it's handy in his line of work. He just wishes Sophie'd give up the girl bonding crap.

In the wake of Lisanna's death, Mirajane readjusts her relationship to her magic — and her relationship to Erza.

“Oh,” she says, white hands clenched into tight fists. “I’m-- I was your student. Haruno Sakura.” Kakashi tilts his head, gray eye analyzing her carefully for tells. He finds nothing. “I’ve never seen you before in my life,” he says flatly. (Kakashi wakes up fourteen years old.)

In the AU where Jamie and Grant are both Sentinels. Or IS IT an AU?

Naruto has a secret. So does Sasuke. And Sakura. Just how were the genin teams picked again?

There’s a kind of clarity that reminds you why you’re completely fucked. Sakura's team is clueless. It would just figure.

A tiny green tendril curls softly around his wrist where it's resting against the wood. Stiles takes shallow breaths, trying not to move or get too excited, but—it's working, he thinks. This is going to work

After the loss of his wife and his predecessor, Minato throws himself into his work, leaving his son almost entirely alone. Naruto grows up shunned but never outright reviled, aware of his burden and achingly lonely. But it’s not his way to give up, and someday, with the help of Kakashi, Obito, and a few faithful friends, he’s going to show his father just what kind of shinobi he can be.

Patrick is a priest of Aphrodite and Jonathan has a debt to pay.

Emotionally constipated dudes expressing love through making out and deciding to have a kid. In front of the Stanley Cup. #thatsit #thatsthefic

They’re nursing the first round of beers when Clint says, “Whoa,” in an awed tone. When Steve turns to face him, Clint’s got almost comically large eyes which seem to be darting between Steve, Natasha, and something over Steve’s shoulder. “Is that Lewis with Henry from Accounting?” Sure enough, when Steve darts a look, trying for casual enough that if Darcy catches him looking it won’t appear like he’s creepily staring at her, she is, indeed, sitting next to Henry, her eyes focused on his face as he tells her a story that involves a lot of hand gestures. Darcy laughs suddenly and brings her bottle of beer to lips. Steve tries not to stare at her mouth and fails miserably. He and Darcy haven’t crossed paths many times over the last few months that she’s been working at the tower on various projects with Stark or SHIELD, but she reminds him a bit of the girls that used to run the show in his old neighbourhood, used to wear bright red lipstick and let the wind toss their skirts up high enough that the married, church-going women would toss them a dirty, judgemental look before corralling their children or husbands into their homes. -- Darcy has a type, and it's more Steve 1942 than Steve 2014.

Tony Stark is all about the advancement of science, but...he probably should have clued Steve in a little sooner. Steve just thinks it's a bad idea to volunteer for anything that involves Reed Richards.

Mrs. Strife fixes, well, not everything, but what she can. ShinRa is not so self-observant as to notice. The Energy Crisis is not resolved, but will somehow be fixed at some future point. Cloud Strife won't have to go back in time in this 'verse. Turks have a terrible sense of humor.

If there is one thing that dating Tony has taught Steve, it's that sometimes you have to go with the flow.

Stiles gets friendly with a Tentacle Monster.

Clint has unusual fantasies; Tony has unusual abilities. This works out in everyone's favor. (Alternately: "Consentacles!")

Steve's not sure where he is, or how he got there, or why there's a tentacle there, but at least he's having fun.

In which Derek finds Stiles in a compromising position.

After rescuing Shaundi from her ex-boyfriend, the teenaged Saints hide out in IHOP.

In which Sidney Crosby discovers twerking and decides it'd be a good idea to add it to the Penguins' workout routine, and Paulie knows exactly who to blame.

”So it is that ‘dead even’ means that two people or things aren’t just close in a competition. In fact, there is no way to separate them.” AKA, a competition in stamina. AKA AKA, shameless porn.

Makoto insists that it should hurt. Shouldn't it hurt? Companion piece to This Gentle Heart Will Mess You Up by Ad_Astra (permission granted).

It takes Stiles four days to notice something’s wrong. Well it’s not like jerking off three times a day is unusual behavior. The third day, he has his usual good morning session, comes straight home from Lacrosse and jerks off without even taking off his jeans because it’s laundry day tomorrow and it’s not like he’s got standards. And everyone jerks off last thing at night; it’s like a glass of warm milk for your dick. Stiles has been hit by a jerking off curse. He might not make it through May unscathed.

Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

Sidney grows up hearing about the types of soulbonds, and every time someone gets gushy about them Sid just rolls his eyes and goes back to whatever it was that he was doing. Does he want a bond? Yeah, of course, but - after hockey; only after hockey. Some of the guys are already bonded, and that’s awesome for them. Sid likes all of their bondmates, they’re all awesome. But for Sid, it’d just be something else to distract him from the game.

“So,” says a voice in his ear, “you must be some kind of, uh, pinball wizard, huh?” Alex jumps- being in solitary for three years has taken its toll on his reaction time. “Nah, I’ve only been playing for like two- wait, what?” Because Alex has traced the writing on his hip for five years now, the writing that in large, perfect loops, says exactly what this man has just said to him. It’s just perfect, isn’t it, that not two hours after he plays pinball for the first time he meets his fucking soulmate.

The further from the ice, from waking up sixty-seven years in the future he gets, the stronger the cold black burn of drowning in the Antarctic waters preys on his mind.

'Zelena had said that if they did not obey her, if they betrayed her, she would kill their child. But there is no force in this or any other realm greater than love- And Mulan finds him first.' In which Mulan goes to extraordinary lengths to protect Aurora's child and falls in love along the way.

"I can be anyone you want," He'd said, a little too quickly, a little too flatly. "I can be anything you want-" It was, Hawkeye decided, the least enthusiastic proposition she had ever received.

The further adventures of Sidney Crosby, Professional Troll, as told by Beau Bennett. A sequel of sorts to Drop it Low, but it also stands alone.