Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face. "Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas." In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.

Written for the Free! Kink Meme: "maybe rei starts helping rin study for a certain subject that he's bad at, rin helps rei with clothes-shopping, and it eventually escalates to rin teaching rei how to kiss and then they make out and possibly do other sexy things, and it probably takes them both a while to realize that they have totally been dating this whole time."

Everyone knows that there are no free mages under the Qun. The Ben-Hassrath know that there's nothing more useful than a fact that 'everyone knows'.

The South is a wilderness of warring barbarian 'kings', raiding bands, bandits and other such creatures. Like every good citizen of the Imperium, Dorian Pavus despises the very thought of the place and all those savages who inhabit it, probably all sweaty and half-naked and... sorry, lost his train of thought for a moment there. Of course, most good citizens of the Imperium haven't just been captured by a group of said southern barbarians. (AU in which Hawke leads a raiding band, Dorian is the prize all his men are fighting over, Varric stands to make a lot of money off the betting pool, and Trevelyan is not the Inquisitor, he's a very naughty boy)

Today, Peter was honest-to-god going to see Captain America himself up close, in person, and not from a rooftop or tiny crevice like a creepy stalker fanboy. Even better, he was going to watch Steve Rogers make history by soldiering his beleaguered way through the most intensely awkward and honestly ridiculous press conference in the history of ever-- jaw thrust out and spine ramrod straight. Trying hard to be polite and respectful in the face of adversity. While a bunch of assholes with cameras and microphones shouted at him about Iron Man’s adolescent dick.

For the kink meme prompt: "Josephine who is secretly a mage, and is just really really good at hiding it."

They find the baby under a butterfly bush, a sweet smelling buddleja with purple flowers and narrow, green leaves. The baby is dirty, wet and hungry, wrapped in a fur blanket, and this close its squalling is loud enough to wake the dead. -- Or the one where Stiles' mom was a harpy and passed certain genes along.

There's nothing wrong with a little online flirting. Cullen hardly ever expects it to go anywhere even if he really does like the man he's been chatting with for over a month.

Stiles gets kidnapped by crazy hunters. It's super.

In which A.I.M kidnap Tony. And decide to livetweet it.

In which Iris and Eddie go house hunting, Eddie has a lot of feelings and makes a lot of coffee, and everyone has to apologise at least once.

Cisco fixes things that are broken, like super-suits and hearts. It's what friends do, right?

"I think we could be happy."

Drunk manicures and sober sex are better than the other way around. Especially if you're just looking to blow off some steam.... You know what they say: If you can't be with the one you love, love the mind-blowing sex you're having with the one you're with.

When it comes to mornings after, Oliver has always preferred to cut and run. But it's hard to outrun the Flash.

All it takes is a mention of his name while they're in bed together, and suddenly Barry Allen is a constant presence in the relationship of Iris and Eddie. Now they have to figure out what to do about that. Eddie/Iris at the start, eventual threesome.

Barry agrees to a deal with the devil and finds himself enjoying it a lot more than he expected.

"Since you got your powers, you've—" Cisco trails off, waving his hands vaguely. "What?" Cisco raises his eyebrows and waves his hands more pointedly toward his crotch. Barry feels his face heating up. "Cisco!" "I'm asking for science, dude!"

What does a ghost care if you're mad? They've got eternity to make you count your sins.

They move together as one. He’s never felt something like this before, not even when he piloted Road Warrior. It’s easy to fall into a rhythm of sorts when the person next to him is just as broken as he is, her shattered pieces aligning just so with his. That he can make sense of, that he understands. The more they fight together, the more they pilot War Rig, driving the jaeger like it’s an extension of them both, the more he feels whole. [Or simply, the Mad Max: Fury Road/Pacific Rim AU that no one asked for.]

Sometimes things just don't translate well. Other times it's just much easier to say them in a language nobody else in the room knows.

If Cole met Anders.

One of Stiles' goals for Thanksgiving weekend is to take advantage of the privacy away from his crowded dorm rooms to get to know his new vibrator. He gets, uh, stuck. Deputy Derek Hale assists.

Shortly after Arthur is resurrected in the 21st century, he finds Merlin's vibrator. That's it. That's the plot.

With the Kyuubi’s help, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke have successfully landed in the past, armed with a completely fleshed-out plan to get rid of the bad guys and save the world. (Again.) The only problem? When it comes to the transmigration of souls and time-travel jutsus done under the influence, Kurama has absolutely, incredibly terrible aim.

Some choices, once made, cannot be taken back.

"Once upon a time in Fire Country, O my Best Beloved, three Ninjas went on a D-rank mission to retrieve a Cat..." A tale in the style of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. Very silly.

Team 8 in a quiet moment during the timeskip, with lots of speculation about the origin and nature of the Aburame clan's bond with their kikkai. Fluffy enough to rot your teeth.

Many waters cannot quench love; neither can the floods drown it. Love is as strong as death.

"Temari, if you make me kiss him, you will regret it." Gaara's voice brooked no opposition.

Temari and her family, before and after the demon.

A musing on the social and legal construction of childhood in hidden villages. Downbeat and philosophical.

Sakura at work, because damn it, medic-nin should be scary to fight.

“So what the fuck even was that last night,” Letty said to Mia, the next morning, after the guys went off to the garage. “Do they do this—” “All the time,” Mia said.

The Narutostuck world is a fusion wherein I have jammed Homestuck characters into the Naruto universe and am pretending they were always there. Basically the Land of Space (Uchuu no Kuni) lies to the west of the Land of Wind (Kaze no Kuni), separated by a great desert; its capitol is the village of Hidden Time (Kouingakure no Sato). For the past century or two, it has been ruled by the Condesce and engaged in an endless war of conquest on the continent across the western sea; recently, however, a rebellion led by the Sufferer succeeded in overthrowing her and establishing a new social order in which discrimination against humans and discrimination by blood caste are officially outlawed. Meanwhile, over in the Elemental Countries, the plot of Naruto has reached some sort of good-guys-win conclusion. Now the people on both sides of the desert are tentatively trying to establish some kind of normal diplomatic and trade relations... but the Condesce and her chief supporters were never caught, and are still seeking to restore their rule.

Some villains have the kinkiest superhero traps.

She's the extractor, not that she looks it. Most people walk on by her without realizing that she can–and will make their lives agony beyond their imagining to get what she wants. She comes in looking like little more than a florist's daughter: low necked shirt, mesh, a short skirt and a bundle of flowers wrapped up. Her gloves are long and made of thick leather which the poison can't quite get through. She plucks a hybrid rose and examines it a moment. Let the prisoner think a geisha has come to him; she's had training in that manner as well. Unlike Sakura who wore her heart on her sleeve, Ino could be the honeypot, the poison thorn.

This day may have arrived sooner than she originally thought, but Yoshino couldn't have said she was all that surprised.

In the aftermath of war, Temari stands beside him, steady. And Shikamaru finally understands.

Shikamaru walks into a trap

After Hobbs caught them in Rio, they didn't get ambushed, and they didn't get away. (AU diverging from Fast Five.)

Obito snatches up the abandoned bottle, jogs three steps, and hurls it with all the force he can manage at the back of the white-haired litterer’s head, snarling, “Hey, asshole! It’s called recycling!”

“Oh my god, Obito, I don’t care that you keep turning our roommates into mindless zombies devoted to serving your will, but in the name of everything holy, at least stop putting them in thrall when you're singing Taylor Swift songs in the shower.”

Orochimaru gets one more chance. Just maybe, it will be enough to save him—and the entire world as well.

He was a chuunin academy teacher, not a courtier trained in statecraft and diplomacy.

This is literally like a history essay because I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry.

In an unguarded moment, Oberyn asks if Sansa's parents ever gave one another surprise gifts. For the first time in a long time, Sansa remembers her family when they were whole and happy. In the "For Fear Tonight is All" universe.

Prince Doran does more than keep the Marcher Lords at bay in exchange for Myrcella Baratheon's hand for his son Prince Trystane--he sends an army to defend King's Landing, and in the same stroke take every scrap of glory from Tywin Lannister and every scrap of power from Queen Cersei.

Cloud's kind of a dork and so is Sephiroth and they keep on having late night showers together, and it should be weird and awkward (like puberty) but it isn't. There's also a pillow fight.

Tywin Lannister died without any other heir than Tyrion Lannister and his young wife Sansa, and rather than continue the mad fighting in Westeros Tyrion severed all ties and declared Casterly Rock neutral until a single King sat unquestioned on the Iron Throne. The fighting still continues, but House Lannister now takes in war orphans who are raised by Lady Sansa--it is this custom that first draws Daenerys Targaryen to Casterly Rock.