“They had been told, as young witchers, that the burden of their secondary sex had been relieved by the Trial of Grasses. The mutations took away the change that would come as humans hit adulthood, and they would be without a subsex. Witchers were men, and men alone. They were not given the added burden of being an alpha, or an omega, or a beta. They were free from that particular form of madness.“ Jaskier is hired to be a heat companion for an omega widow, and Geralt is hired alongside him to play bodyguard. Unfortunately, being so close to the chaos that is human mating cycles, Geralt begins to suffer strange symptoms of his own. Trust Jaskier to take care of it. He’s a professional, after all.

“I learn stuff about you to enrich my songs, thanks very much.” Geralt starts. “Like what?” Jaskier strums a chord. “Plenty of things. You always ask the contractor if they want the head or not instead of just showing up with it, because you don’t want to shock people. You eat normal amounts of food when eating in public, instead of your usual awe-inducing giant amount. You sleep more when you’re hurt, but that’s the only way I’d ever know. You’re a bit weird about your potions and you count them a lot.” He glances up and grins. “Shall I continue?” A handful of contracts go sideways. Recovering is easier with Jaskier there.

Sam, Sebastian and Abigail have been friends forever and they might seem weirdly close to other people but all it takes it an impromptu makeover, some teasing words, and a threesome for it to become something more than friendship.

Sebastian has two exes: Abigail, because he isn’t into women, and Sam, because he isn’t into men either. This doesn’t stop Sam and Abigail—now dating each other—from dragging Sebastian along when they move into an abandoned farmhouse outside of town. They’re exes, they’re best friends, and now they’re building something new that’s greater than the sum of their history. Sebastian is in for an adventure of domesticity. Or: Nobody else moves into the farmhouse and overthrows JojaMart, so the band has to do it themselves.

Andrew is a sports photographer with terrible coworkers, Neil is a professional Exy player who mixes reporters' tears with his electrolytes, Nicky thinks Andrew needs a boyfriend, and Kevin just wants to stop ending up as their third wheel.

Despite his best efforts, Andrew finds himself a family.

Jean sleeps around and learns how to make friends rather than alliances. Jeremy falls in love and can't stop fucking up.

Sin settles later than most. It’s not until Mary dies that she finally does settle. Neil looks away from the car, dazzled by firelight and the sense memory of her daemon breaking apart, and finds silvery speckled fur with jet-black points and reddish eyes the same colour as Nathaniel Wesninski’s hair. Just like that, he knows she won’t shift again.

Neil is a Vixen, not a Fox. He and Andrew still find each other.

After being photographed together, Neil and Andrew decide to roll with the rumors that they're dating.

“Auntie Pezza, or Percy if you’re boring,” Pez grinned, gesturing to themself before their hand moved towards Henry, “Hen, Henry if you’re boring, or His Royal Highness Prince Henry if you’re really boring.” “Oh shit, like the Prince of England, Prince Henry?” His eyebrows shot up and he grinned, “I didn’t expect you to be…” “Gay?” “Hot,” He snorted, looking Henry up and down in a way that made him feel like a piece of meat. He didn’t particularly dislike it, “I’m Alex. First Son Of The United States, if you’re boring.” Pez laughed, and Henry let himself crack a grin before speaking, “Punk FSOTUS? Didn’t expect that one, I can’t lie.” OR Prince Henry meets Alex, the First Son Of The United States, at a very boring upper-class party, and spends the next few months planning to get this man into his bed.

“You’re trans,” Alex said, not a question, a statement. “Yes,” He said firmly, his arms moving to cross over the binder that’d stopped Alex in his tracks, “I assumed you knew, because of the club and would be fine with it-“ “Wait-“ Alex’s mind was spinning and he was trying to find the words, but Henry just kept talking. “-But maybe I was wrong. There are plenty of cis guys who don’t want to sleep with trans people-“ “-Henry-“ “-I just thought you were better than that,” He snapped, reaching for his shirt before Alex grabbed his wrist to stop him. “No- Henry, wait. I just…” And in a moment of panic, he tugged off his own shirt, bringing the fabric over his head and revealing the matching scars on each side of his chest. Henry’s eyes widened and he straightened up, “I thought… I thought you knew. I just, I didn't know you were…” OR T4T Firstprince...

Five times Jeremy didn't understand the relationship between Jean and Neil Josten, and the one time he figured it out.

Bakugou Katsuki is a camboy trying to make ends meet after he suddenly lost his job and most of his hearing. Touya's just looking for a good time.

Tim Drake stops stalking Gotham’s nocturnal wildlife when she goes to college. Unfortunately, they don’t return the favor.

Zoro would thank Luffy for introducing him to Law all those months back, if he ever dared to tell him why in the first place that is, but their mutual friend didn't have to know what kind of relationship they had developed. Only him and Law would ever know what happened behind that door everytime Zoro would visit. (or Law and Zoro having a rough session in the BDSM room)

Facebook. Three and a half years after he first set eyes on Jared Padalecki and felt some integral part of his brain melt, Jensen finds out that Jared is into guys. Through Facebook.

The Winchesters have been subjected to a lot of things in the name of hunting, but the result of a spell-gone-wrong on their latest case is still pretty high on Dean's weird scale. While their father is out searching for a way to undo the magic, Dean's stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, trying to deal with his bitchy teenage brother and his own increasingly un-brotherly feelings toward him. Who'd have thought Sammy growing a pair of giant bird wings would be the least of his problems?

Jason Todd is a hunter, one of the best in the business. Dick Grayson is an incubus, one of the most powerful there is. Somehow, they still manage to be something resembling...friends.

Andrew and the Idiotic, Thirsty, Ill-advised, Very Off-Limits Crush on his College Roommate's Younger Brother.

Jason's had worse heats. Don't ask him when— but he's sure he's had them.

"You're so fucking stubborn," Hood says. "It's infuriating." Red bristles, but fighting's like foreplay when he's got this much adrenaline. "Yeah?" He taunts. Can't help himself. Hood's grip around his wrist tightens, and it only serves to remind Red how fucking strong he is. Red's pulse somehow gets even faster, beating in his ears so loudly that he isn't sure how Hood doesn't hear it. "Yeah," Hood agrees. Tim's watching his mouth as it forms the words. "It drives me fuckin' crazy, babybird."

Jason's plan to meet and school his replacement is going great, until it isn't. Tim Drake isn't exactly what Talia told him… he's better.

When Jason leaves the League, Dick Grayson is the furthest thing from his mind. He has Talia’s blessing and a step-by-step plan to make Bruce pay as well as to rid his city of the Joker. There’s no place in his thoughts for quippy acrobats, not when his every waking hour is tinted green with dreams of revenge. He doesn’t think that anything can possibly break through his single-minded focus… Then he catches footage of Nightwing fighting thugs on the streets of Blüdhaven with none of his usual grace. Fuck, but he can’t leave Dick behind to fend for himself. Not when he can’t be sure that Dick will survive long enough to still be around by the time Jason is done dealing with Bruce.

Tim gives him an incredulous look. "Is this really the way you guys do things? I'm sorry, but do you really think it's okay to marry someone you barely know and create an entire person—a baby, one that's going to need someone to look after it for 18 years or longer—just for money?!" "That's not…" Jason makes a frustrated sound. "Look, you're 19, right? We can talk about the intentional baby acquisition when you're legally old enough to drink. By then we'll know if our marriage can sustain a child. But I think it's worth a try." - After civilian Tim Drake gets trapped in the Bat Cave following multiverse shenanigans, he enters an arrangement with the crime lord Red Hood in an effort to gain access to a trust fund with some very particular requirements.

"They're watching me," Jason says, when Daisy Mae has left. "Who, the drag queens?" Tim says. His face is an inch from Jason's chest, and when the strobe lights flash their way he can see a drop of sweat moving down Jason's pecs. His mind feels staticky, bouncing from general outrage to a general desire to put his mouth on Jason's skin. He's too horny to be rational about any of this. ++ Tim goes to a gay club and finds himself embroiled in one of Jason's cases. Glitter is involved. Also crises of morality. Also booty shorts.

Tiny Tim: all i want is for someone with a monster cock to fuck my brains out until im drooling, is that too much to ask? He sets his phone down and makes it about 5 seconds into reorganizing the granola bar shelf before realizing his fatal error. With a feeling like ice water being poured down his back, Tim snatches his phone back up and has to input his password 3 separate times before he calms down enough to type it correctly. Oh. Fuck. Tim is mentally adding this whole situation to the Top 10 List of Worst Things That Have Happened to Him Ever when he sees a new notification come in, not from one of the group chats this time. Jason Todd: wanna fuck? Or, Tim accidentally sends a text message to the wrong group chat, but it all works out in the end.

“Why are there reporters-” Dick stopped. His eyes locked on the TV. “Oh, look at that Drake- you’re trending on social media.” Damian offered far too coolly to be any form of casual. XxX In which Tim's nudes get leaked online and he is surprisingly casual about it

"Tim?" Jason asks cautiously. It's possibly the first time he has ever used his replacement's first name. Out loud at least. Or where he could hear him. Another whine and the big black dog opens an eye, gazing warily up at Jason. "Okay, you're awake. Not exactly sure what the protocol is here but if you know you're Tim Drake, whine twice for me."

“I’m fine,” Tim says - audibly, with his mouth and everything. Jason stares at it. “You sure?” Jason asks, tamping down the strain of panic rising in his chest. He’s pretty sure they’ve got a telepathy situation on their hands, and he fucking hates those. He’s not even beginning to think about the… content of the telepathy.

The news that Timothy Drake, Gotham’s cryptid millionaire, has shot the Joker dead during a public live-stream hits the world like a freight train—and that is just the opening salvo of his bugfuck plan. Maybe there exists, in the multiverse, a configuration of Jason Todd who will weather this with decorum, dignity and self-respect. This version of Jason Todd decides that the life of an academic is not, really, all that rewarding. In contrast, the life of Timothy Drake’s live-in house-husband is looking more appealing by the second.

Tim Drake leads a...mostly normal life, helping people get the best insurance they can afford. Soon though, he finds himself embroiled in a plot that involves Robin trying to take him down, and Batgirl possibly helping. Add to the mix Red Hood using him for information, and a strange young man walking into his office under false pretenses, Tim finds that his mostly normal life is about to completely change. Tim knew there were worse jobs in Gotham than insurance agent, but he’s hard pressed to think of another at the moment. As he shoots off an email to a client about looking into their claim asap, he hears the glass door to the small insurance office open and watches Stephanie Brown,the goddamn Batgirl, walk into the agency and catch his eye. He puts 'masked vigilante' at the top of the list.

Tim gets tired of constantly having to remove all the bugs Batman and Oracle plant in his apartment, so he cooks up a scheme to make them regret ever listening in. But he'll need some help, of course.

Maybe it was because he didn’t have time to read the gossip columns; maybe it was because he seriously underestimated the audience’s power to “Ship It”, but Bruce didn’t *immediately* cotton onto the fact that his scheme made half the country think that his son was in love with, well, his *other* son.

“Can’t believe a pretty thing like you has to come begging to the Red Hood,” he says against Tim’s neck. “Thought they’d be lining up down the block for you. Thought Daddy would need to get the shotgun.” “You’re the one with the shotgun,” Tim points out. ++ Tim’s benched with a broken arm and starts playing Jason’s personal Oracle. Things escalate.

What started out as Jay jokingly sexting Tim in a bid to make him laugh (and, in his words, 'get that enormous stick out of his little ass') slowly turns into Tim not only no longer being angry with Jay, but, as they continue to jokingly sext each other whenever the instance arises, slowly starting to consider that a friendship may be blooming between them. After a while, it's possible that friendship could start to bloom into something even more, and maybe all that joke-sexting doesn't stay such a joke anymore after all.

Bernard opens the laptop, spinning it to face Tim with a flourish. It’s a powerpoint with a truly hideous red background, and Tim feels a moment of relief that Bernard isn’t breaking up with him before he registers the words on the slide. REASONS WHY TIMOTHY DRAKE-WAYNE IS A SUPERHERO, A STUDY BY BERNARD DOWD. - Based on my post on tumblr: "I’m obsessed with the idea that Bernard like. Figures out that Tim is a superhero but guesses the wrong one. Like he compiles all this evidence and makes a PowerPoint and presents it to Tim and is like “Tim. I figured it out. You’re Impulse.”"

Peter finally has a day to himself, and he decides to relax, maybe take out a couple of toys. But then Deadpool comes by and finds this remote on the counter and oh God the vibrator's still inside of him.

So listen, Danny knew going into this PA job that it was a bad idea to work directly under Tim Drake-Wayne. He knows himself, and unfortunately that means he knows his type, which Tim was practically tailor made for. It's like whatever ghost is in charge of the cycle of reincarnation sat down with clockwork to pick out the perfect soul and genetic donors for his future King to fall in love with. He knows for a fact that didn't happen; Clockwork is too much a smug bastard to NOT have poked the two of them into each other's lives yet if that was the case.

The armor is just making Jaster colder.