Geno’s been running away for years, from the scandal in Magnitogorsk, from any chance of getting his heart broken again. He’s working as a bouncer in Pittsburgh when he meets Sidney Crosby—hockey phenom, single dad, looking for someone to handle personal security for his little girl.

In which Tim is the Witch, Jason was supposed to be the debt but turns out to be Red Hood, and there are shenanigans because life isn't that great when your mom was Janet Drake. A series in which fairytales collide to make life awkward and horrible. (Tim the witch, Jason as Rapunzel turned witch-hunter, and more to be added along the way.)

"Didn't you know, Jason?" Tim says, voice light and taking on that tone that their public personas use, "I'm a winter. Lavender is my color."

"His name is Tim and I think my dick will never understand the difference between fear and arousal again."

"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."

Tim doesn't need Kryptonite to control Kon in the bedroom.

Google politely tells her there are no poisonous spiders in Manhattan. Judging by her symptoms -- fever, superstrength, newfound desire to shove herself into small dark spaces, and sudden reputation as a masked vigilante -- Gwen would beg to differ. [Spider!Gwen AU.]

Natasha becomes an internet phenomenon. It's nothing that she was ever trained for.

"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."

Peter wasn't really looking for more family.

The Professor he knew was a stern though caring man and he had a welcoming smile like that of a father but it was sometimes too stiff. The Charles he knew from the past was bitter, reckless and stubborn. This Professor though, was very much like the Professor he knew but he had a—dare he say it—tune to his voice and a skip to his er…wheeling. Logan couldn’t really put his tongue on it but there was just something. (Where Logan tries to figure out just what's so different about this future with no Sentinels out to skewer them like it's BBQ night all day, everyday)

Her clothes ripple away into blue skin, she keeps her eyes on his face as it does. She sees the shock and doesn’t bother waiting for the disgust. She smiles. “What’s wrong baby?” She asks as innocently as she can. “Don’t you think I’m pretty now?” “Beautiful.” He breathes in reverent Vietnamese.

When diplomats around the world are murdered in a series of mysterious explosions, it's up to Natasha Romanov and her special team of badass ladies to find the culprit and save the day.

Dinner at 6 Cheeseman Street is a rather unpredictable affair.

A selection of letters to and from Trisana Chandler during her four years at Lightsbridge.

Three times Sandry handled things her foster-siblings’ way, and one time she went with hers.

Briar and Kel meet in the Yamani Islands, and romance ensues.

After Tony over-reacts to some SHIELD agents breaking a microwave oven, Steve begins to wonder if there's something the team should know.

Two long-time enemy nations can't become meaningful allies overnight. Stories from the lives of a border-guard Herald and Sunpriest, from their first meeting to the end, and insights into just how Karse and Valdemar were able to turn around their relationship so fast.

Hatake Kakashi was a shinobi, and as a shinobi, the only people who could give him orders were his military superiors. The idea that a Council made up of civilians and peers was under the impression they could give him orders...displeased him. Or: He was ordered to pass Team 7. He was fine with that, until they actually passed.

The Rogues were glad to have their Commander back after Bespin, but it was obvious to his friends that something besides the new prosthetic was wrong. So the fantabulous four dragged him aside to find out what had gone wrong on the city in the clouds, not expecting what they got, but not completely surprised either.

The Clone Wars were long over, barely touched upon in history except as the proving ground of the Jedi Conspiracy. But they lived on in the memories of those who would never forget the days of blood, sweat and tears that history forgot. They would never forget when those flashing sabers meant reinforcements, leadership, hope. Would never forget when Skywalker was a name to be in awe of, when Kenobi was calm personified. Then a silver cylinder reappeared in their lives. A Skywalker walked down the ramp. And they dared to consider, they dared to hope. A series of one-shots examining the thoughts of Clone Wars veterans, because Luke was the Last To Know.

“You know, when most people impulse shop, they come back with a new datapad, some nice shoes, maybe an antique blaster. Not an eight-year-old junkyard slave.” A smuggler’s Force prompted purchase changes the course of the galaxy.

Steve pauses when he sees the bizarre changes to Times Square. Well, what if he didn't? What if he got away and SHIELD didn't get him? He escapes. He learns. And in true Captain America fashion, he refuses to hide away and decides to take the fight to Hydra (because who else would capture him?) in the streets of New York, hiding among the Finest. Along the way, he picks up a rural hometown, a best friend who knows a little too much about the silver men, an old friend with new metal accessories in his fists, and a partner who doesn't freak out when Steve tells him Nazis are trying to kill him, please don't tell the Desk Sergeant? Oh, and at some point, he may just figure out that the weird guy at the coffee shop isn't gay, but is a SHIELD agent that's torn between turning THE CAPTAIN in and giving up the vacation this manhunt turned into.

Naruto’s friends are gone, his lover is dying, Konoha is destroyed, and Madara’s second return has pushed the entire world to the brink. Hunted and harried, Naruto is sent back in time to upend Madara’s plan before it even starts, and sets about changing everything. Butterfly effect nothing: the world is at stake, and Naruto is hardly about to let it fall to ruin once more. Not while he’s still breathing.

"Jane's cute," Clint says, shoveling yet another sloppy joe into his pie-hole. Darcy has been watching him inhale a disturbing amount of food for the last half-hour. This is why she likes eating lunch with the guys instead of why-yes-I'd-love-some-brussel-sprouts-on-the-side Sharon. They're good for her ego. She may eat like a hippo, but she'll never eat as much as Steve, Clint, or Barnes. "She's totally on my FUCK shortlist." All of a sudden the crystal clear sky outside cracks with the loudest thunder Darcy has ever heard in her life. The windows rattle. Everyone freezes. Darcy can practically hear everyone's assholes tighten in fear. Because across the commissary, Thor is looking at their table. And it ain't raining panties this time. Just righteous, godly anger. -- The dudes FINALLY play MARRY FUCK KILL, not-so-Avengers edition. (Because there's like ONE actual female Avenger. Thanks, SHIELD.) Wherein no one follows the rules, everyone still kills Tony, the Mets suck, (lots of theoretical threesomes?!), and Darcy turns Clint into a hypothetical honey badger. (And honey badger don't care. Honey badger don't give a shit.)

Thor takes a good look at Loki once he has hauled him back onto the quinjet, and realizes that there is something odd about Loki's eyes. Thor has grown and changed much in the last year, and no longer takes anything for granted. So he starts asking questions. It doesn't take long to figure out that Loki is not acting of his own free will. Tony Stark knows what it is to be forced to do as an enemy commands. Steve Rogers has seen the atrocities manipulative madmen are willing to commit. Clint, Logan, Bruce and Natasha have been subjected to said madmen. They all know what it is to lose themselves, and to seek redemption. Together, this band of broken heroes draws a line in the sand. They will not tolerate any tyrant, foreign or domestic. That includes Nick Fury and the WSC, who have used everyone on the team for their own aims. It includes Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross, who has hunted Bruce against all reason. It includes Odin, who treats his sons like commodities. And it includes Thanos, who has delusions of conquering Earth. Along the way, they learn to trust each other. They learn to help each other. They become a family.

"What's in it for me?"

A collection of my shorter fills for snk-kink on dreamwidth. Mostly gen humor. Mostly.

“This is a vagina,” Sasha says, sounding vaguely confused and Connie grits his teeth, shifts his hips away slightly because he’s fucked it up, hasn’t he, he got too into it and now he’s fucked it up – “Yeah,” Connie mutters.

They’re all soaked through with sweat and stink worse than corpses when Reiner notices the outline of something under Connie’s shirt, notices sort of that there’s a slight curve to his chest that wasn’t there before. And Reiner isn’t particularly observant, so if he noticed he’s pretty fucking sure other people have too, and sure enough, when he swivels his head, he sees Thomas nudging Nic and gesturing to Connie with a tilt of his head. They both snicker to each other, and Reiner feels his gut sour.

Marco wakes up dead, and it isn’t really what he expected at all. He’s not sure how he knows he’s dead, but he opens his eyes and sees the building across from him and the gore strewn merrily across the cobblestones and he knows he’s dead the same way he knows that the sun rises in the east and that Jean will never, never get over this. "Fuck," he says.

"Let's go steal a Jaeger," Parker said, smiling a wolf's smile.

kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

"You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be difficult for three teammates and friends to figure out how they fit, both figuratively, and... not. And yet.

After regionals, he hits a low. This isn’t particularly surprising – Rei has been doing so good for so long, engaged and alive and happy, he thinks, a little bit happy, so of course a low would have to come and even things out – but how unsurprising it is doesn’t comfort Rei when he wakes up feeling the first embers of something slow and sad and dark burning low in his stomach.

Rei had actually planned on studying tonight, when he invited Nagisa over.

It’s not that Nitori’s into rough play – (Except that he really, really is) – but he’s found a fascination with Rin’s smile.

“Holy fucking shit,” Levi states, examining the dick in front of him. “I take back my promise to deep-throat you. Take it way back.” “Um,” Erwin says, "That's fine."

Jean would just like to make it absolutely clear that making out with Eren was an accident. An accident he is currently still having.

Itachi and Madara massacre the clan, but they miss one member. Obito, loyal Konoha ANBU and disowned Uchiha, suddenly finds himself out of the organization that’s been his life for eight years and raising a traumatized, orphaned child. Kakashi helps. Or watches and plays the smartass, it’s a bit of a tossup.

Monogamy is for a world where your life expectancy is more than double your current age, and sometimes things get complicated.

Cards Against Humanity is not a good game to play with the Avengers, just not for the reasons that Clint was expecting.

In a world where he didn’t die at the bridge, Obito is a loyal Konoha shinobi, even if his Konoha is practically gone. Rather than die at the hands of Orochimaru, Obito triggers an experimental time-space jutsu that sends him across dimensions, into a world where his counterpart went insane and Kakashi is mystifyingly different.

Naruto gets his hands on the key to his seal too early, and the yang and yin chakra of Kyuubi are freed. As in, now there are three Narutos.

Sakura just wants everyone to get along, almost as much as she wants to get laid.

For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

Mutants have been extinct since the Eugenics War. But then, Jim's the exception to everything.

When Loki attempts to mind-control Tony Stark in the middle of the Chitauri invasion, he unlocks powerful memories and abilities, and Tony realises that he's something greater and more powerful than he ever knew. And so is Steve Rogers, but that's a slightly different problem.

"Armin," Eren says, flexes his hands on Armin's hips. "What. Do you. Want?"