Steve has some unique needs now that he's a super soldier. (Vampire AU.)

"Holy crap", the guy says, sprawled on Dave’s bed with arms akimbo. Dave swallows a smirk, and pushes his hand off so he can lay down beside him, side by side. No contact though, they’re both too warm and sweaty.

Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

They've never been evil before.

Abed only wants to be tied up when he's Batman. Annie only wants to do the tying when she's Annie. Troy's up for anything, especially if it involves butts, nipples, or kissing. Best. Scene. Ever?

Jeff could explain it all but with Abed, he doesn't have to.

“Damn it!” Troy shouted. He pushed out of his chair and slammed the mouse down on the desk, attracting the attention of the rest of the class. “I don’t even know what ‘dysentery’ is!” Some of the classes that Annie, Abed and Troy have taken together at Greendale over the years.

"Road trip," Abed says, nodding approvingly. "One car. Seven people. A country's worth of dramatic situations ripe for both comedy and tragedy."

Triangles are resolved and character roles are explored at La Casa de Trobed.

Honestly, Pat isn't sure how they got here. He's had a lot to drink, and they've been engaged in about four hours of what was Mario Kart war but turned into an epic Smash Bros. tournament, and somewhere along the way bets that required badges of honour were made, except instead of badges of honour somebody—okay, probably Pat—decided they were to be badges of shame, and somebody—again, probably Pat—decided the winner got to mark the loser so everybody could heckle him until it faded.

"Sid," Geno said, jogging down the stairs two days later. "You not like jizz. Is like shoes thing, or like chunky peanut butter thing?" Sidney had strong feelings about his shoes, but he grudgingly acknowledged that manufacturers continued to issue updated models every few months, so his running shoes were never quite the same even though he always bought the same brand and style. Chunky peanut butter, on the other hand, was inviolate. You did not fuck with the chunky peanut butter. Or, as I titled the document, Jizz: a love story.

Geno's not gonna lie, this is totally working for him. The idea of wearing this and standing over Sid in heels while Sid mouths his cock, elastic edges of the panties pulled down to slightly cut in under his balls, is so hot that he needs to put his computer down for a bit and go fetch some tissues.

If you’re like me, you desperately want to read longer stories. You want to get lost in them for hours - perhaps even days - on end. You want to immerse yourself in beautiful writing, and never surface again!

your tags are rude and i am upset (yes please cam stiles blowing himself hello) - winterkiss

Drunktuesdays: Anyone can feel free to write me a story where everyone has to go to the Pacific Northwest Werewolf Symposium and Derek explains it would be BAD FORM for an Alpha to turn up without a mate, especially the ONLY TRUE ALPHA IN A HUNDRED YEARS, and its not like Scott can bring KIRA because duhhhh foxes and wolves don’t get along. Stiles sucks in a breath because he loves this shit, he’s gonna get his FAKE BOYFRIEND on when Derek says, quiet, “I can—you know, stand in.”

It was a perfect romantic-comedy moment in a perfect romantic-comedy situation.

It wasn't so much a matter of figuring out how to ask, Troy had already done that by accident.

"Annie, there's been a wardrobe emergency," Britta says seriously. Annie looks up from her lab bench and gasps. "I'll say," she says, a moment later.

It occurs to Troy one day that a lot of Abed's films involve the two of them having sex.

"Hey, Abed?" Annie said. "Are you and Troy having secret sex?"

The group gets an assignment and Abed gets a clue

Britta decides Abed and Troy should be honest with the group about their relationship.

The Inspector is famously thought of as asexual; the Anti-Inspector is . . . not. Abed likes to play both roles.

Troy and Abed move in together on August 15th, but Abed doesn't really get a sense for the pattern until late September.

Annie, Troy, and Abed bake a pie and have sex. I have no idea why it's eleven thousand words.

Troy and Abed meet the in-laws.

Abed made the announcement two weeks before the semester ended. "I'm transferring," he said placidly, and the conversation around the room came to an abrupt halt. "Come again?" Jeff said flatly, slouched back in his seat. "I'm transferring," Abed repeated. "I got into the NYU film school, and they're taking most of my Greendale credits so I'm moving to New York this summer."

For the crossdressing square of my KB 2011 card.

Abed turns another page and says, "Ask me."

Troy really, really likes robots.

Abed finds a little bundle of joy on his doorstep. A montage happens.

Random telepathy, human blankets, pinnacle life experiences and the best way to spend a Halloween.

Three times where Abed and Troy share an unexpected moment.

“Maybe Superman just really likes Batman more than the girls,” Abed says, noting more things on his clipboard. Or: plans, not-plans, and a science project involving colorful hermit crabs.

For the prompt: "Troy takes control of the Dreamatorium one day and enacts a fantasy that he wants."

"They can see us," Abed says calmly. As if he's just figuring it out.

In this rewriting of history, Sid gets an experimental treatment for his concussion that has some rather unusual side effects. Geno helps him out. There are complications.

In 2010, the best athletes in the world gathered in Vancouver for the Games of the thirty-first Olympiad. Of all the medals to be awarded at the Games, the host nation of Canada wanted one above all: the last medal to be awarded, gold in Men's Hockey. To this end, Canada assembled a team of superstars, the best and brightest in the NHL, led by Sidney Crosby. On the shoulders of that team they placed the hopes of the nation.

Seven and Ace hang out with Troy and Abed.

In a world where it is possible to extract information from dreams, some people use technology in ridiculous ways.

The study group finds a new show to watch: MTV's Teen Wolf.

Troy gets an early copy of a mysterious Beta game that he insists the whole study group plays with him. (Featuring PICTURES)

cnihtofrage asked: I know you wrote at least one sequel to Amateur Palemates, but think I remember another one where Sollux figures out what's going on? two of them actually, one of them just actual pale exhibitionism treated seriously, and one of them ashen by way of pale exhib; they’re forever WIP that i posted teasers for in several places, but i never found a satisfying conclusion. here’s all i’ve got, you can see the ashen one has a clumsy POV and starts to meander toward the end and i don’t know where the fuck i’m leading it. i do like a lot of the dialogue quite a bit though.

Thom is many things (arrogant, impossible, brilliant, a terrible brother, he supposes he could carry on all day), but he has never been stupid. He is aware from the moment the Conté Duke’s eyes open that he should have left them closed; there are some things that anyone can see, Master of the Mithran Light or no. "Ah," Roger says, "Trebond,” and Thom shudders.

Crackfic, AU. The Third Hokage granted Uchiha Itachi's request to spare the Uchiha children, only to realize too late that they were all horrible devil children. Literally. Which may be why Naruto fits right in with the rest of the little monsters Sasuke's too busy raising to brood.

There are reports of shadowy forces and a copycat Batman in Colorado. Batgirl is sent to investigate, and in the process discovers a new friend, a co-dependent study group, and a place that rivals Arkham Asylum for sheer lunacy.

Abed made the rules.

When Trish Barnes walks into the Dreamatorium and becomes Constable Reggie, it doesn't seem like anything's going to go any differently than it had the other times she and Abia became the Inspector and Constable. Until Abia tells her that to release the bonds keeping Inspector Spacetime the prisoner of the Floobidians, all Trish needs to do is tell Abia a huge secret. And only one secret comes to mind.

Derek comes back to Beacon Hills for a number of reasons. The most important one, though, is the result of a one night stand in Vegas. He's knocked up and Alpha, and Cora won't stop playing Papa Don't Preach whenever she gets to pick the music in the car. This shit just keeps happening to him. Or, in which Derek gets the D, Stiles gets the D, then Derek gets Stiles's D.

It’s not even a big deal. Frankly, Derek doesn’t understand what Laura’s problems is when she’s the one who used to tease him so much about his compulsive gym rat routine.