If Sidney weren’t facing an unexpected total rewire, he would be really tempted to jump Geno, right there. (A Fixer Upper AU)

Jonny's heat comes early and unexpectedly strong. Pat is there, on the other side of the locked door, to help him through it.

It’s actually his father who suggests it. “Take the rest of the summer for yourself,” he says. “Do something fun.” “Fun,” Sidney repeats blankly.

Merpeople didn’t kill humans except in stories. Merpeople also didn’t talk to humans, or bob up in the water near where a human was fishing from the dock and tell him to throw back anything that wasn’t a lionfish, or kiss humans or look at them the way Sid was looking at Zhenya now, as Zhenya finally stepped out of his trunks. Merpeople kept to themselves. But not Sid.

Sid is smitten. He was smitten from the start, he thinks. The first time he saw Zhenya's dark eyes and hair and smooth skin. The way his cheeks flush the same color as his mouth with exertion, or passion. Sid knows that people make comments about his own mouth, the way it would be more suited on a childbearing male, but he thinks that they can’t possibly have seen Zhenya's. The perfect, sweet cupid's bow of his upper lip and the plush, fat pout of the bottom one.

Sid peers down at the human who was shoved at him – a young man, as far as he can judge. “What is going on?!” Sid asks, feeling as unmoored as a dragon ever can. The human looks nearly as confused as Sid does. “Uh, you heard the village headman,” he says tentatively. “The crops are… bad. Worse every year. We know you protect the valley, so we figured you must be mad at us if you were letting the crops fail.” “I protect the valley from things I can bite,” Sid huffs, still thoroughly confused. “I don’t know what you expect me to do about… blight, or insects, or poor crop rotation."

There are six new bug reports in Jira since Sid checked last night at 10PM. An open-plan workroom over, Richie is giving the coworking space tour to the new guy. "There's Flower from NetProfit… and there's Sidney Crosby," Richie says. "He's with Penng now, but he was at Facebook early." "Facebook, wow," says the new guy. Sid resists the urge to climb under his own desk.

King Evgeni has a problem. A very, very big problem, because the new guardsman from the Outer Islands is driving him to absolute distraction.

Magnitogorsk doesn’t hold much for him. He stares down the barrel of his future there: toiling away at a factory job, living and dying streets away from where he was born. He rubs the water-smoothed stone in his pocket, and thinks of the thunder of the waves. He knows that staying here will kill some essential part of himself. And so, he leaves. For PatriciaKoiFish, I hope very much that you like it :)

This is not the Sidney he has come to know. This is the lord of the underworld, in his robes of office, heavy, rich, pitch black as night save the ornate embroideries of gold at the hems. There’s a diadem of onyx on his brow, flashing in the light, pointed shards of stone that make Sidney’s face underneath them look all the more stern and alien. Geno shivers. Anonymous asked: Mythology AU pls? Light angst in one scene (child’s death alluded to, not mentioned or described at all)

The hydrophones have been picking up nonsense for the past three days and Zhenya has had it up to here, honestly.

The entire building is decked out for Christmas. Sparkling lights, the rich, glowing reds and greens of masses and masses of poinsettia flowers. It’s not hard to realize what’s going on. It feels like every titled, unmarried man between the ages of 20 and 40 who likes other men is here. Unbelievable. They’re marrying the King off with a fucking Cinderella-style ball.

The magic hits him as soon as he opens his car door. Hearth magic and earth magic and hedge magic, and probably more, all swirling in a cacophony that should have been overwhelming. But instead it feels like wading into…home.

As a prince and an alpha, Geno needs to get bonded before he turns thirty. With his birthday fast approaching, he returns to Russia to find a suitable omega. The only problem is that Sid has secretly been in love with Geno for years.

“I adopted a dog,” Sidney explains, pointing to the bundle of grey fur on the other side of the dog park. “The vet thinks he’s probably a husky or malamute.” Phil glances at Sidney's dog, and then at Sidney. “... that isn't a husky," he says after a beat. Sidney shrugs. "Yeah, no. Probably a mutt, but I have to put something on the registration forms."

AU: Sidney Crosby is a foster kid growing up in Nova Scotia. Geno Malkin is a Russian transplant. They play hockey. And also have sex. I claim to know very little about the junior hockey league and even less about Canadian Childrens Aid Services.

Evgeni Malkin is a star forward and three-time Art Ross Trophy winner. Sidney Crosby is the head chef of Nouma, a Halifax restaurant that boasts two Michelin stars. They cross paths in Pittsburgh.

Jordan’s always been kind of jealous of people with dynamics, like Taylor.

“Are you?” Taylor asks unexpectedly. “Am I what?” Looking up from the stove, Sid finds her watching him with an odd look on her face. “Happy.” It should be an easy question to answer.

A hockey rookie joins the campus drag troupe. Sasha didn’t know they even had a campus drag troupe. Sasha hasn’t been paying a lot of attention.

Jack Eichel has 99 problems and Connor McDavid is... well. More of them than he thinks. In which Jack hates Connor McDavid, who he's never met, quietly pines after the cute girl he always sees in the gym, and has no idea that these two things are related.

This is a not fic, born from a conversation @itsybittle and I were having about (of all things) a BDSM porn Teen Wolf fic idea involving Jackson/Stiles/Lydia that revolves around the idea of what would have happened if Jackson had stayed in Beacon Hills instead of leaving for London. This not fic is pure fluffy kid fic. Because that’s what porn produces evidently: fluffy kid fic (I lie, when I try to write porn, what it produces is about three days worth of world building as @itsybittle​ can attest from that time I tried to figure out kinky BDSM Frozen Elsa/Hans and spent all my time world building and talking geo-politics). Anyway, this started like this: itsybittle: ALSO FIC IDEA itsybittle: Single dad bitty and his son have a YouTube channel and his son does this sport interviews

Geno is ready to make the transition from his kink.com men in bondage subscription to real life.

If someone had asked him a day ago what he thought it would be like to be held prisoner by a dragon, Sid never would have guessed it would be this boring.

Nolan flips to his messages, but as expected, it’s mostly just unoriginal openers—who’s going to respond to sup, honestly—and unflattering dick pics. He rolls his eyes and goes back to the profiles. He comes across one guy, just a scant two miles away, who actually has his face in his profile picture, which is a refreshing change. He’s cute, longish dark hair with a sneaky smile, and his name is Travis. Nolan has never started a conversation with anyone before, but again: antsy and horny. He debates for an embarrassingly long time over what to say and finally settles on something simple. And dumb, probably, but the magic of anonymity is that he doesn’t really give a shit. And at least it’s miles better than a dick pic of a soft dick, which Nolan didn’t know was actually a thing until he got more than one. The bar is low, is what he’s saying here.

In which Karkat Vantas' roommate, Dave "straight as a line of coke" Strider, discovers the joys of prostate stimulation. Again. And again. And again.

Marcus’s replacement comes with a mess of blonde curls, big baby blues, soft pink lips, and a spot of acne. He also looks like he’s two years shy from graduating high school. Sharpy says, “He’s eighteen.” Jonny gives him a look. “I checked his birth certificate myself.” Jonny rolls his eyes. “He wrote ‘aggressively bisexual’ in the preferences section of his application.”

The Republic falls in the span of a day. Xanatos, desperate to keep his son out of the line of fire, makes a reckless deal with the new emperor, whose face he's never seen. But there are dark secrets behind the emperor's fury and prophecies that won't let themselves be thwarted, and Xanatos is nothing but a pawn in a far greater game.

Gendry gets invited back for drinks with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's cousin and his boyfriend's cousin's boyfriend, and then things get... out of hand.

When Obi-Wan chose to fight for the Young, he left behind the only life he'd ever known, and the only dream he had ever wanted. On Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Child of No Clan, finds purpose and finds family, and begins a journey which will change the shape of his life and the galaxy in ways he'll never fully understand. Or, the one where Obi-Wan is adopted by True Mandalorians off Melida/Daan. Featuring: teenage shenanigans, pet strill, Force teleportation, first love, and found family.

“I see hearts. I sing people their deepest desires. You, for example.” Gabriel rolls his head to the side, damp curls bouncing over his eyes as he looks up at Jack. “You’re an adventurer. You want a new challenge, a frontier to try yourself against.” He reaches up one dark-clawed hand to trace it down Jack’s face. He’s as mysterious and mesmerizing as any of his promises, and Jack doesn’t pull away.

When Fox and his men capture a Jedi, the first caught in the Empire in decades, it's the final piece Fox needs to set his plans into motion. Assassinating the Emperor isn't going to be an easy task, though, and to get the training he needs to manage it, he'll have to keep Jon close and avoid the Emperor's suspicion, because anything else is a certain death sentence. The solution, of course, is only the start of even more problems.

A lifetime of hunting demons never prepared Jon for suddenly finding himself the fake ex-boyfriend of a man with incredibly conniving adult children. Jaster, for his part, got in over his head about the time he lied to Arla and Jango about where his hickey came from. The demon hunters are just a little extra depth, at this point.

Jon is not used to wanting anything, much less something he might be allowed to have. 

JASON TODD - EXPOSED!! By Vicky Vale (@vickyvalegazette) BREAKING NEWS - Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor and all-around heartthrob Jason Todd has had his Soulmark exposed to the public in a wild escapade at the Gotham International Airport today upon his return from shooting his latest project. Who is the lucky person with the matching mark? Who will color in the black shapes in Jason Todd’s Soulmark and Bloom with one of the hottest celebrities on the planet? We will report on this as it develops! Stay tuned to the feed!

In a world of scientifically proven psychic abilities, the practitioners - the so-called Talents - are called on to serve the public good. This is never more true than in Gotham, where the Wayne Parapsychic Institute works diligently for justice and peace in what is otherwise a mecca of rogue Talents. Bruce Wayne is one of the most powerful Talents on record; a Prime. So are all his children. All, that is, except for Tim Drake; a winged donkey to their high-flying Pegasus. Fed up with the constant reminders that he will never be able to catch up to their flight into the stars and beyond, he leaves. Trying to put the shattered pieces of his life together, he comes across Jason Todd; former member of the Wayne Parapsychic Institute and a powerhouse in terms of Talent, alive in an asylum years after everyone assumed him dead. Tim is determined to help Jason find a way back. Jason might end up teaching him a way forward.

“You know, just out of curiosity,” Red Robin begins, and Jason twists to face him, “are you from Gotham?” “What gave it away?” Jason drawls as fire sirens start up in the distance. “My anger issues, or my apathy in the face of the new supervillain flavor of the week?” (Or: That time Jason moves to New York and becomes a meme.)

A Snow White AU that got more than a little bit out of hand.

Bull and Cullen return from vacation just in time to show their new neighbor the sights.

Jason Todd yanks on his red helmet and switches over to the Bat comms. The comm line is a scramble of everyone talking around and over each other, hunting for Robin.

Apparently bad things really did come in threes, Bakugou thought wryly, as the firefighter closed the distance between them. Tall, tan, and jacked as hell, he was a strong contender for the single hottest person Bakugou had ever seen in his life. He was covered in soot and sweat that contoured his ridiculous muscles, making them look even more defined, and his clinging black tank top didn’t do much to hide the rest of him, either. His strong cheekbones and jaw had smears of black on them too, and Bakugou had the absurd thought that he wanted to lick them clean. Bakugou didn’t think it was possible, but he felt himself turning even redder. He would barely have been able to talk to someone as attractive as him on a good day, and he was about to have to explain to him that he’d tried to burn down his fucking house because he was being petty on Twitter. Super.

When people start dying on the ship, Bakugou has to rush to find out what is going on. Along the way, he has to deal with the grief of losing the people he loves, and the fear that he might be next. At least, he has Kirishima by his side...

Aizawa Shouta is a part-time college student and, more recently, an EMT in training. He doesn't have the funds to call Tokyo home and never did, but how he ends up renting a room from nationally acclaimed author Yagi Toshinori is anybody's guess. Yagi is kind, and rich, travels a lot for conferences and has a very fat cat named Dumpling. Shouta loves Dumpling. He also loves leaving the door open when he's dressing, because he knows Yagi-san is looking.

Kaminari is going through a messy divorce, which has led to sending transcripts of his texts with his ex to his attorney. Shinsou is the attorney’s legal assistant, who has to go through said transcripts and black out all the explicit pictures before they can appear as exhibits in court. Reading through the sexts though, and they are GRAPHIC, Hitoshi starts to agree with the ex: he ALSO wants to ‘come on Denki’s tits’ and ‘shove his cock so far down Denki’s throat he’s coming directly into his stomach’.

Levi Ackerman has made a career out of anticipating the unexpected, but he's found himself in a position he never could have predicted: getting divorced. Single again for the first time in ten years, he’s listless and untethered during the initial separation. He's got a lot of issues to work through and–on a leap of faith–decides to seek the help of a very different kind of professional.

Shouta's never squirted before. When Hizashi, an instructional adult content creator, finds this information out, offers to help change that via a demonstrations video for his audience.

On a border world caught between the Sith and Mandalorian Empires, Mace and his padawan seek a vanished Council member. They aren't the only ones looking for something lost, though, and Jaster Mereel is a force all his own - one Mace is hard-pressed to resist.

Auston would never have thought of going to the ballet on his own.

When Thorn convinced Fox to start playing his favorite MMO, Fox expected to get bored of it after a few days. Instead, months later, Fox was deeply invested in the catgirl character he'd created, and it might just make him realize some things about himself.

Incubus - a male demon who feeds off of sexual intercourse with humans. Kaminari hasn’t been able to get the word out of his head all day. Not since he learned it at 11:28 am in his mythology and demonology class, anyway. To him, it sounds a whole lot like an opportunity. Kaminari Denki is hella tired of being a virgin, so he summons a demon to help him out. But maybe he should be more careful with what he wishes for - he's going to be absolutely ruined for humans after this.