Or- the story of how Jack got his heart's desire, Aster got his heart's desire, and the Guardians enacted a 'send elves through to the Warren to make sure everyone's wearing their metaphorical pants' policy for their sanity. Warnings for: Jack being a rambly bastard leading to Walls of Text. You have been warned.

Jack would just like to take the time to remind everyone to hang onto their weapon of choice when accidentally going through the experimental snow globe, because otherwise you'll end up who knows where without a staff and only snowballs to help you. Or: Jack doesn't know where he is, he sure doesn't speak the language, and he just knows talking to those giant rabbits will go badly. The little one, however... That works out just fine. Series

noviblue asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair

Though if Hiccup had to be completely honest, he wasn’t here for the lecture. Something something boring matrices; right, like that was going to pull him out of bed. Such riveting stuff. No, the only reason that Hiccup was here at this ungodly hour and willing to put up with the droning from the professor was for the guy he sat next to.

The camera zooms in on the face of a very beautiful woman who looks vaguely familiar. “Who’s the babe?” Stiles jokes, turning to look over at Derek. “My mom,” Derek replies with a glare. “Oh, shit, dude, I’m sor—” Stiles breaks off his apology as his eyes drift back towards the screen. Beside Mrs. Hale is another familiar face. One he hasn’t seen in a long time. His mother.

It startles him to see a human shape on his altar tonight.

The JLI (with Superman along for the ride) finds itself captured on a planet with a volcano that requires a sacrificial virgin.

"After multiple times of people trying to use him as a virgin sacrifice, Tim decides it's time to lose his V-card. Enter Kon-el."

An alternative future for Cordelia who has just returned from the higher dimensions. AtS/Leverage Crossover

In a near canon world where orientation refers to dominance or submission, not sexuality, almost everyone has a soulmate that is supposed to complement their personality, biology, orientation and heart. Most people look forward to the day when the psionic bond sparks into existence, connecting them to their other halves. However, a trauma left Bob wanting anything but the bond he sees as a dangerous trap, and he takes matters in his own hands to chemically prevent his bond from effecting him. Patrick doesn't know what he did wrong but he knows that for some reason, his soulmate has rejected him and he has to learn to live with that. Between their pasts, their bands, and their hopes, neither of them expects end up where they do - so close with so much distance still between them.

Oshie really wants Kaner to measure Jonny's dick.

Now I’m imagining Steve offering to sleep with Tony so Iron Man doesn’t have to do it anymore.

It's hard being a graduate student, trying to write a thesis, create a revolutionary computer program, or prove the existence of dragons while living in a shitty apartment with your two girlfriends. It's hard, but at least your girlfriends understand.

I said, will you marry me?

In which Troy decides what he wants to be when he grows up, battles the ice cube of sadness, bakes some cookies, and figures some things out about feelings.

Abed proposes while they rewatch Star Wars. Series

Troy and Abed discover slash.

Abed leaves a message for Annie and Troy. Complicated film theory, and three revelations (of which only one is surprising), lie therein.

Talking about Farscape can be dangerous.

Includes many hugs. Probably canon.

It happens slowly enough for Abed to get used to the idea.

“I got behind when we were all Claymation,” Abed told Troy. His laptop clicked open, lighting his face in a bluish alien glow. “So I’m finishing my last Yuletide treat tonight.” Abed's movies about the study group have become a Yuletide fandom, and he's finishing up one last story for Troy.

Abed's hand tingles slightly, like he can still feel the pressure of the pen tip on his skin.

"So, okay, Britta," Annie says, "this thing you gave me is seriously just a scrap of ripped looseleaf that says 'IOU one shopping spree at A Woman's Touch.' I do not even know what that is." Britta does an excited little leap in the air and claps her hands. "It's me deciding to help you discover your true womanhood."

Shawn goes undercover at a BDSM club and runs into Lassiter. He assumes Lassiter is undercover as well. He's wrong.

"Come on! Do him for America, Chuey!" Hilary yelled.

five times Patrick Kane unsuccessfully flirted with other Olympic athletes, and one time he didn't get shot down. with Kane being cheesy and persistent but not creepy or coercive? het and/or slash bonus points for Kaner trying to flirt with both Lamoureux sisters (either separately or together) and crashing and burning miserably :P

“I can’t believe you’d come to me with such a foolish matter!”

When Johanna comes back from having her virginity sold off, there are some people waiting inside her rooms.

"I bet you a hundred bucks," Sharpy says, gesturing with his drink to punctuate how very serious he is about this suggestion, "that I can pick up the next person who walks in that door before you can." Duncan Keith probably shouldn't have taken that bet.

Jonathan finds the boy along the outskirts of a town market, chained to a post. There's a bronze armband clasped tightly on his forearm, winding around it like a snake, and he stares sullenly at the ground, heedless of Jonathan's gaze, while his toe traces patterns in the dust. "I want him," Jonathan says to the vendor, pointing. That's a lie.

"Looks like you boys had a very affectionate celebration this year, eh?" Wiedeman says as the video ends. Jonathan lifts his head from its protective refuge, spreads his arms out wide. This, at least, he can deal with. "What can I say? I love my team."

Or, Jonathan Toews' neck is a slut.

The one where Jonny plays for the Blues, Patrick plays for the Hawks, and they soulbond.

When Patrick met Jonny for the first time, it was because they'd both just been picked for the same hockey team. When Patrick netted his first goal during practice, Jonny skated over to give him a congratulatory hug and, well, it's not like he didn't sometimes shift on accident, when he was excited or happy, but it hadn't happened at practice in ages.

Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

"Holy crap", the guy says, sprawled on Dave’s bed with arms akimbo. Dave swallows a smirk, and pushes his hand off so he can lay down beside him, side by side. No contact though, they’re both too warm and sweaty.

Steve has some unique needs now that he's a super soldier. (Vampire AU.)

Arthur knows how to use words just as well as Merlin, and he knows about the magic.

Across the border into Mexico. Post-fourth movie.

Five ways Han did not die in Tokyo (or anywhere else) but still met Sean.

Agreeing to do a bit of clandestine goods trafficking between Sunnydale and Los Angeles in the summer of 2001 probably wasn't the brightest idea Spike had ever had.

Dragging a ten ton vault around on a giant tether was one thing; fighting alien hell beasts from another dimension was something he still didn’t think they were completely qualified for.

Two tychokinetics running in the same pack had just been asking for trouble.

Running means a new series of harsh realities.

Slight cross with AC, nothing plot or character wise, more ability and a lil' character history wise. The one thing Rome always knew was that Brian was born Crazy. But that may be his crazy ass pops fault, absent as much as he might have been.

Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis. Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”

There's a curse mark on the back of Sidney's neck.

Stiles leans into the touch. “Was it awkward masturbating in a house full of werewolves?” He asks, as he does, so impulsive but genuinely interested.

Harvey Specter wasn't the rich renegade badass that plucked Mike from his potential life of crime. Tony Stark was.