Or, The Avengers Tower Stitch & Bitch Club

It was Captain America. Captain. Freaking. America.

Darcy, Bruce, gen (first day at Stark Tower)

The Avengers take initiative. Or, the story of how a group of remarkable people came together to drink cocktails, eat ice-cream and wait for Fury's call. Post-movie.

Saving And Being Saved: "Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care." Fangs Up: "Someone finally takes notice of the fact that Gabe Saporta says he spoke to a snake." One Man Band: "It takes Spencer a while to figure it out, but he doesn't let it change how he behaves when he does." Patrick Stump's Strip Joint, or The One Where They're All Strippers Apart From Patrick Who Has Taken Up Handicrafts (Not Like That): "The one where they're all (pretty terrible) strippers, Patrick owns the strip joint, and his therapist has suggested he take up a hobby."

“Welcome, newbies, to the only class SHIELD has to offer on surviving this shit. I'll be your teacher today, hi, Tony Stark, Iron Man, CEO of awesome."

So I was on tvtropes and was reading the page for the Iron Man movies, and someone had put on there that Dummy was one of the first robots Tony had ever built. And I went back and watched those opening scenes again, when they’re doing that profile of Tony and mention him graduating from MIT at 17, and sure enough it’s Dummy that he’s pictured with in that magazine article. I don’t know how I missed it the first ten times I watched this movie. And then there go all my feels, because he might tell Dummy he’s useless all the time but he still kept him even though it’s been like 20 years since Tony built him and he’s had to have come up with a hundred better designs for him by now but he hasn’t scrapped him, just made various attachments for him so he can use him all the time, even for putting together his Iron Man suit. And then Dummy goes and saves his life. So yeah all my feels for Tony and his robots :’)

Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care.

They call him Hawkeye for more than just his eyesight and aim.

Steve goes on a road trip to clear his head, but the other Avengers won't leave him alone.

It's Go Time!

Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

Bonding over sleepless nights, incoherency, and pizza. Because sometimes, you need a friend. "Sure you won't come up for a drink? You know, as long as you're in the neighborhood." "I bet you say that to all the defrosted soldiers on your doorstep at three in the morning."

They debriefed at Stark Towers. That should have been his first clue.

Despite all appearances, Loki was quite good with children. Mostly his own, but other children too. Even if their parents disapproved. Crack one-shot, Avenger!Loki/Norse!Loki, no pairings. Complete.

When Jane moves into the mansion, she takes Darcy with her.

Tony has been MIA for just over fifteen hours and Steve is starting to worry.

Inspired by Chapter 3 of TheGreatSporkWielder's "Waking Up in Vegas" where Darcy and Bruce promised to make JARVIS godfather of their first child. Margaret Rebecca Banner had a mystery to solve.

Sheriff Stilinski and his wife couldn't have children. In her desperation, Mrs. Stilinski found a young Selkie boy and hid his sealskin. Only she knew where it was hidden; when she died, so did that knowledge. Stiles grew to love his human family as his own, even grieving the death of his captor/mom, but the sea still calls to him in Beacon Hills.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not my father.”

She never understood Phil, but she was always proud of her brother.

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

He's not a bird. He's a human. He just likes to be alone.

Brendon's twitter typo outs his marriage to the world, and he doesn't know what to do next.

So there's this project Tony has been working on since he was ten years old which is only marginally less awesome than the specs for the TARDIS he totally could have built if Fury would've just let him had the Tesseract for a couple hours longer.

Six times Steve and Thor hang out.

Darcy's never been too excited about being born on the Fourth of July.

Steve is the best cuddler. There is no doubt. They don't even take a vote; there is no point. Steve wins.

Steve goes on a road trip to clear his head, but the other Avengers won't leave him alone.

“Elinor – do you think it could be real – that he could – that he might be a magician?” “His speech is rather rough, dearest. More likely he is a day-labourer from the North.”

There are no bad eggs in the Gryffindor House, this is how it works. The good people go to the lion, the raven takes the cleverest of the bunch, the snake takes those who are rotten and the badger takes the rest. Everyone knows this, this is how it works. There are no bad Gryffindors, like there are no stupid Ravenclaws, cruel Hufflepuffs or good Slytherins. everyone knows this, this is how it works. No one goes against the status quo. This is how is goes.

'There was only one thing worse than Dave Strider's smug motherfucker act, and it was his smug motherfucker act after he'd won a bet.' In which Karkat has lost a bet to Dave and turns paying up into payback.

Somehow it's really depressing that Coulson is just too pragmatic for ice cream.

Wherein the beta kids have an agreement to form a sedoretu once they're old enough, as told in a series of standalone pesterlogs. Part 1 - Dave, Rose, Jade, and John meet in a chat room on Jade's thirteenth birthday to talk about nothing in particular. Sequel here: http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/38154.html?thread=39650570

No. Tony. NO! You can NOT adopt him! He has to go back where he came from. (He’s got a steady girlfriend for crying out loud.)

Few So Generous: After Odin falls into the Odinsleep, Frigga takes up her husband’s spear and the rule of Asgard. For Children: It's crept up on Natasha without her realizing it. Her Boss's Keeper: Diana has been working for the White Collar division for all of a week before she figures out that her new boss is, in fact, a thin shell of grouch over a marshmallow center. Five People Who Caught Darcy Doodling: Darcy can't always taser people to work out her frustration. Bros!: In which Darcy remembers something that Tony (mostly) doesn't, Jane is rendered awkward, and there is some snarking about polka-dot bras.

The one in which all the Avengers are women.

Three years on an asteroid makes for a lot of hanging out to do, and it's during one of these hang outs that Terezi discovers Dave's photo album. It takes a little convincing, but soon Dave is taking her on a trip down his particular Memory Lane.

Gamzee has one little wish for Smashed Bloodpusher Eve.

You have to put him in school, and if you weren't busy trying to make money to keep a roof over his head in this world where neither of you belong, you would be all about home schooling. You have to prepare him for the game. You only got eight years left.

Feed a cold, starve a fever, and in the case of an ennui-filled Terezi Pyrope just quadruple caloric intake.

TT: Sometimes I've gotta go round her up from some godforsaken cranny of the abyss. Drag her tipsy ass home, tuck her back in. A few instances of Dirk taking care of Roxy while she's half-awake on Derse.

Aradia had always thought seadwellers were all nasty, ruthless, terrible monsters who abused their place on the hemospectrum. After an encounter with the Heiress herself, she realizes that maybe not all seadwellers are bad after all.

Karkat Vantas, despite numerous protests, has just joined Alternia High's Gay-Straight Alliance. Shenanigans ensue.

Choose lasagna as good first meal for boy humans (1) and boy trolls (1) to show you can overcome this cooking thing. Feel impugned when Rose suggests you would both eat popcorn between two slices of bread and call it a day. Advise her you only did that the once.

Feed a cold, starve a fever, and in the case of an ennui-filled Terezi Pyrope just quadruple caloric intake.