I feel pretty strongly that the second half of Naruto diverted all the momentum of the first half, where what I wanted to see was what would happen if it speeded up instead. This arc is an AU of canon, in which Kakashi dealt with Sasuke differently after the first fight with Itachi and Sasuke never left Konoha. Changes spiral off from that point. This is also the arc where I change all the things that truly made me tear my hair in canon, such as the carbon copy generations, the sidelining of the women, the apotheosis of Naruto as a solitary hero, and Itachi turning out to not be a villain. So none of that happens. There is, however, Sakura/Sasuke/Naruto goodness. Also featuring a dash of Kakashi/Iruka and a side arc about Hinata and the Hyuuga clan that somehow shoehorned its way in while I was innocently contemplating ninja sociology.

He is fourteen and sweaty sparring lessons with shirtless well-built men are starting to leave more than just her shirt damp.

Patrick Kane has soft hands.

You're supposed to know if you're a top or a sub by the time you're twelve. Fourteen at the outside. It's biological, the researchers say. It's not a choice. But sometimes Jon thinks that for him, it really was.

The thing is, Sid's filthy. Or he's pretty sure he would be, if somebody would just give him a chance to be filthy.

The first time I met Jonathan Toews, he let a door close in my face. Not one of those metaphorical doors that get shut ‘cause I’m a girl in the NHL, but a literal door.

In one's home, clothes are optional. Housemates, however, may disagree.

Welcome to the Lee Jordan show on the Wizarding Wireless Network, the best show for news, interviews, sports coverage, and entertainment on air! Tune in now!

Patrick Kane has soft hands.

So Alec had randomly mentioned that he was actually just gonna stay home on Thanksgiving and yes, as Eliot so awesomely put it, "play stupid video games."

After the defeat of Aizen, Ichigo has lost his superpowers but not his skills so he's been hiring himself out to any sports team looking for a strong player. When Nagisa Hazuki approaches Ichigo to join the Iwatobi High School Swimming Club, something piques Ichigo's interest....

Kaner the English Lit major AU.

After one scandal too many, Patrick Kane gets traded. Eventually it stops being the worst thing to ever happen to him.

tumblr fic by idyll

“Make me a sandwich,” Parker says, so he does. “Cut the damn wire,” says Hardison, so he does. “Jump,” says Parker, says Hardison, and he never needs to ask, “How high?”

"When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father's creation, and became a creating force in his own right. That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways."

The one where a bunch of Blackhawks inexplicably go to boarding school, Tazer is the world's meanest DM, and Pat doesn't know why anyone would think cutting the head off a hydra was good idea.

You're supposed to know if you're a top or a sub by the time you're twelve. Fourteen at the outside. It's biological, the researchers say. It's not a choice. But sometimes Jon thinks that for him, it really was.

It was an accident.

"Do you want me to go down on you?" Abed asks, one afternoon, when they're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

Always respect strangers, for they may not be what they seem.

Course provides advanced instruction in avoidance of the phenomenon commonly known as "jumping the shark." Prerequisites for this course include Introduction to Friendship, Contemporary Best Friendship, The Politics of Emotional Baggage and Cohabitation 207. Students may wish to simultaneously enroll in our sister course, Introduction to Non-Traditional Romance, but said enrollment is optional.

Kuranosuke keeps a small lifetime in a handful of bottles on his dresser.

There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like: Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi. Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now. Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations. Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order. But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

Two long-time enemy nations can't become meaningful allies overnight. Stories from the lives of a border-guard Herald and Sunpriest, from their first meeting to the end, and insights into just how Karse and Valdemar were able to turn around their relationship so fast.

Google politely tells her there are no poisonous spiders in Manhattan. Judging by her symptoms -- fever, superstrength, newfound desire to shove herself into small dark spaces, and sudden reputation as a masked vigilante -- Gwen would beg to differ. [Spider!Gwen AU.]

Erwin believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that Levi had climbed that wall.

"Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together." "This isn't a romcom, Holtzy, " Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind." "Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."

Considering that he had picked up what was probably a Sith artifact, promptly passed out in the middle of a war zone, and apparently woken up twenty years in the future with Obi-Wan having taken up residence in his head, Anakin thought he was entitled to have a few questions.

Antoine went to SHIELD Academy, he’s worked on various teams, and everyone he worked with was kind of similar. Okay, with hindsight they were possibly all HYDRA, but he knew pretty much what to expect from them. This team are a deeply disconcerting mixture of oversharingly friendly and actively hostile, often in the same sentence, and they’re buzzing around like Disney characters trying to build a new SHIELD in what is basically an aircraft hanger with vending machines with a handful of people like it’s not a semi-impossible task, like half the world doesn’t hate their guts right now.

The Fourth Hokage left a behind a legacy, a cruel burden that would change the fate of a world. It should have gone to a hero, a champion who could mend the broken and save the hopeless. Instead it fell on Haruno Sakura. Good thing she'll have some help.

With one action, an overwhelmed Cloud Strife changes the course of history in Nibelheim. It doesn't really get better for him.

The State of Marriage by iBear read aloud. 3hrs20mins. Geno will always love his country. Even if it doesn't always love him back.

Now you must endure. Drabbles of the Inquisitor and those who follow.

Song is Timber by Ke$ha and Pitbull

RWBY AMV - Pyrrha Nikos - Dark Horse

RWBY Amv - Light Em Up by Fall Out Boy

SHIP EVERYTHING THAT MOVES! ...AND THE STUFF THAT DOESNT MOVE!

The way I saw it, I had two options for this. One is the one where Hardison is a reincarnated space prince, Eliot is the rollerblading space werewolf sent for him, and Parker is a bounty hunter and they all end up teaming up. The other is, well …

………..So. The RWBY crew being optional companions in Dragon Age (I’m just using Inquisition verse at the moment). Yeah?? YEAH????? Work with me here you guys

Five times Shitty Knight really, truly loved Lardo.

After Ed has to kill he has to deal with having killed and Roy has to deal with him. Divergent Future, Drama With Porn, faint spoiler ep 25.

Alicia liked to pretend she had an Invisible Daddy.

“Did you ever think about any of us when you were away in Australia?” Nagisa asked cheerfully, years later at a joint swim practice. “I tried not to,” Rin said dryly.

Google politely tells her there are no poisonous spiders in Manhattan. Judging by her symptoms -- fever, superstrength, newfound desire to shove herself into small dark spaces, and sudden reputation as a masked vigilante -- Gwen would beg to differ. [Spider!Gwen AU.]

Hockey players make excellent roller derby girls.

Sakura has grown adept at recognising the point at which a fever teeters between recovery and fatality.

Havoc's first encounter with the little Elrics. Havoc had been looking forward to meeting the Elric brothers, but he’d been looking forward to it while thinking he’d have the whole office as a buffer. He hadn’t thought he’d have them all to himself in a car for half an hour in traffic. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Overjoyed was not the word.

Bitty glances up from the kitchen - that’s a new voice - just in time to see Shitty fling himself across the room at a tall brunette girl. “Hils! Fucking shit, man, so great to see you! You didn’t say you were coming!” OR: The one in which Hilary Knight is Shitty's big sister.