Indulging oneself in pleasure is forbidden at the Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian doesn’t realize how serious they are about that rule until he’s sent to the cold springs, however. Alternatively, this is what it feels like to take Lan Wangji to pieces.

When Wangxian decide they can't even wait a day to get married Jiang Cheng is faced with attempting the impossible: planning a wedding in a matter of hours. - “Uh, um, hi, Jiang Cheng, we were just, um, we have to go, it’s really important—” And he actually tried to sneak past him, Lan Zhan’s wrist caught in his hand as he was willingly dragged along. “So you’re getting married, huh?” Jiang Cheng said, his voice poisonously sweet. Wei Ying flinched guiltily. “You’re on your way to the courthouse now? How nice. Hey, just quickly before you go Wei Ying, do you remember what I said I’d do to the next man to make a-jie cry?” “...you’d...you’d pull his—” “I’d pull his spine out through his dick, yes.”

Jiang Yanli lifted her eyes up to Madam Jin and said, calmly, as if from a hundred miles away, “I am a daughter of the Yu sect. Did he think my mother only taught me how to pour tea?” Or: the AU in which Jin Guangshan targets Jiang Yanli and she kills him before he can ruin everything.

"I will live in thy heart sleeve, (never) die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes, and moreover, I will go with thee to the extremely boring cultivation conference." –The Yiling Laozu, probably. Wei Wuxian needs a new workshop. Lan Wangji has room in his qiankun sleeves.

Under normal circumstances, he would have never thought of trying something like this, but his husband had run off his mouth while they were being intimate and it had made Lan Wangji very aware of a desire he had never known he had. It was something he had been unable to put out of his mind for over a week. The thought of it made his body warm and eager, and the images his mind conjured were more than enough to make him seek pleasure at odd times, to Wei Wuxian’s great delight. Tonight, he’d surprise him by making his words come true.

Lan Zhan just has a really great rack. Her boobs are huge, and Wei Wuxian has wanted to get her mouth on them since pretty much the moment she first met her. This is not new information. What is new information is that Lan Zhan, of all people, has her nipples pierced. Wei Wuxian knows this now, because she saw them last week, and her brain has been running at about fifty percent capacity since, because how is she supposed to think about anything else?

Hanguang-jun, it seems that you’ve caught me.” “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmurs, the corner of his lips twitching slightly up. “You let me catch you.” * It is autumn in the mating grounds of Phoenix Mountain.

A look into the days of Jiang Cheng, courtesy name Wanyin, the young Sect Leader of Yunmeng Jiang, with his husband, Nie Huaisang, the Young Madame Nie of Lotus Pier.

Rule 63 Modern AU, feat. Chinese Literature professor Lan Zhan and her lingerie model girlfriend, Wei Ying. i. How Lan Zhan's big lesbian university crush convinced her to stop worrying and love her body. ii. How Wei Ying's girlfriend got her to stop worrying and come on home. iii. How Wei Ying and Lan Zhan's relationship is put to the test, and what happens after.

ok so i’m thinking about like. history teacher Lan Wangji. and his students the junior quartet (jin ling, ouyang zizhen, jingyi and sizhui) who are ADAMANT that Mr. Lan Does Not Fuck

Wei Wuxian's messiness comes back to bite him in the ass, a thousand years later. *** "Why are vampire stories always I Want To Drink The Sexy Neck Milkshake and never two vampires texting about the passionate letter one wrote to the other in 1863 but never sent that the other just saw in the Smithsonian’s fall exhibition on Love Through the Ages and what the fuck, Claude, why didn’t you say anything" AU, but with immortal cultivators.

The resentful energy occupying Wei Wuxian's body like an enemy army is very interested in giving him Lan Wangji, tied up with a bow. Wei Wuxian is hoping that Lan Wangji (who is far too noble and very keen to save Wei Wuxian's misguided soul) doesn't find out about any aspect of that.

Wei Ying’s gaze is so intent on his face, Lan Wangji can feel it, even without looking him in the eye. Wei Ying can read him so well. Almost as well as . . . Lan Wangji swallows. Even thinking the name feels like a dishonor in this moment, as his body is humming and pulsing at the familiar, much-trodden path his thoughts are slipping down.

“I would still like to be kissed,” Wangji says, and his hand is very hot on Lan Xichen’s cheek. Perhaps one of them has a fever, or they both do. He opens his mouth to ask if they should open the window for some cool air. His brother kisses him as if that is what Lan Xichen had intended. He will not be sure, later, whether it was.

Jiang Cheng finds out about Wei Ying's missing golden core, and decides to fix it. With books. And his dick. Lan Zhan is there to help.

The Jiang Sect was famous for it's marvelous creations. Lan Wangji is just as enthralled as everyone else until he gets a closer look.

Lan Wangji believes he and Wei Wuxian are essentially engaged. While they search for his missing betrothed, he accidentally reveals as much to Jiang Wanyin. Now everyone in the cultivation world knows about the imminent marriage, except for Wei Wuxian himself.

It happened like this: Jin Ling was a sect leader now, which was, and Jingyi really meant this, fucking hilarious. There were few things funnier, in his honest opinion. Because he was young, and inexperienced, and also — it had to be said — a real shithead, there was apparently some belief amongst his advisors that the best way forward, to promote the picture of a stable, mature sect leader who absolutely did not cry at the drop of a hat, was for Jin Ling to get married. - OR: Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged. Things spiral from there.

“Tell me I’m beautiful, Lan er-gege!” “You are well aware you are beautiful,” Lan Wangji says. Wei Wuxian trips over Jiang Wanyin and sends both of them to the ground in a tangle of limbs and bruises.

The first time Wei Wuxian sees Lan Zhan naked in the Cold Spring behind Cloud Recesses, she's totally blindsided. Lan Zhan is meditating, tips of her hair trailing through the water when Wei Wuxian arrives and starts to strip down. Her eyes are closed, and her tits are floating in the water in front of her. Several things strike Wei Wuxian in quick succession. Five times Wei Wuxian notices how absolutely enormous Lan Zhan's tits are, and one time she does something about it: A fill for a prompt in the MDZS/CQL Kink Meme.

"Betrothed," Wei Ying says indignantly. Lan Wangji can't stop his gaze from darting up to him. Wei Ying understands. Wei Ying is looking at him, wide-eyed and upset on his behalf. "And you don't even like her," Wei Ying says. "I don't even know her," Lan Wangji says quietly. "But even if you did—" Wei Ying starts. "I wouldn't want this," Lan Wangji finishes.

On the morning of his birthday, the Chief Cultivator, Lan Wangji, wakes up on time, as always, and finds his normally-fast-asleep husband wide awake and wearing nothing but a ribbon. He does not leave his bed for another shichen, missing breakfast; he will need to make it up to his family later. He does not care. He knows it will be the only good gift he receives today.

Please find herein the definitive rating of the amount of peacefulness that Lan Wangji exudes throughout the show from 1 (Wei Ying!!) to 10 (Wei Ying).

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying go undercover at a fetish party.

The picture is of Wei Ying, that much is clear. It’s of a lot more of Wei Ying than Lan Zhan is used to seeing. He supposes that, technically, Wei Ying is dressed. It’s a bare technicality, since one of Wei Ying’s hands has rucked up his black tank top practically to his collarbone, showing a long expanse of abdomen and one nipple. Sweat beads on his sternum, catching the light like jewels. His other hand is--Lan Zhan feels his eyes widen, as though unable to look away from a train wreck--on his hip, one thumb tugging down the waistband of a pair of red briefs. Wei Ying is biting his lower lip and looking directly into the camera, sultry, his eyes dark and inviting. His erection is obvious, outlined against the red of the briefs and framed carefully with the hand on his hip. Lan Zhan’s brain goes wildly, screamingly blank. Or: Lan Zhan accidentally finds his best friend's OnlyFans account and has an ongoing emotional crisis.

Wei Wuxian barely makes a sound when Jin Zixun’s sword goes through his chest. A tiny noise is punched out of him — half gasp, half sigh. Jin Zixun, wearing that smirk that Lan Wangji has always hated, moves to pull the sword out. This won’t do; Lan Wangji knows enough about battlefield medicine to understand the principle of keeping the weapon in the wound until a medic arrives. So he does the only thing that occurs to him in the moment, letting the momentum of flight be the force behind the swing; he cuts off Jin Zixun’s hand. - Lan Wangji goes with Wei Wuxian to his nephew's one-month celebration instead of Wen Ning. They still don't make it to the party.

Wei Wuxian almost does not catch the name of the song. In which the aftermath of the cave battle involves just enough communication to make a difference.

“Really? Right now?” Wei Ying whispered, and Lan Zhan could only nod, a reckless pulse throbbing in his veins.

“Lan Zhan,” he says, gentle, the words like knives on his tongue. He holds Lan Zhan steady as he leans away, with a sense that he’s shaping fire with his hands, a great force bending to his will. They could burn down the world together, he thinks, and then where would they be.

Crumpled at the base of Koi Tower’s long stairs for the second time, Jin Guangyao presses his face into the stone, takes a deep breath despite re-broken ribs, and arranges his features as carefully as he knows how. Then he stands, moving carefully around the pain, and bows deep, arms held straight and true. The walk back up the steps to his father's side is painful enough to wipe the smile from his face; it is not painful enough to prevent him re-taking his place as seneschal, bowing again at the top of the steps. As he straightens, he prioritizes his plans for his father’s demise over all else.

Lan Xichen asks Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to participate in a ritual for the protection of the Cloud Recesses. There may be some ulterior motives going on.

The good news is that Lan Jingyi has found a mentor, friend, and constant companion through the difficulties in life. The bad news is that that’s because he’s been accidentally possessed by the Yiling Patriarch.

Lan Zhan is convinced to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. What he doesn't know is that Wei Ying is a former disciple of the Jiang who was kicked out in disgrace. None of this would have happened if he and his brother hadn't been sent to boarding school after their mother's death

Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren don’t die. Some things change. Some things don’t. ~ It's a beautiful day in Cloud Recesses and you are a horrible guest disciple.

It isn't even an accident, precisely—that might be the most humiliating thing about it. Lan Wangji had tasted the tea, expecting it to be precisely what it revealed itself to be; Lan Wangji had wanted to feel its effects, to gauge them, although he had expected them to be mild. He had brewed the tea himself. An entirely uncoerced and foolish act. Lan Wangji has a misadventure with an aphrodisiac. It works out for everyone.

Lan Zhan is glaring at him. That's probably fair. The last time they'd seen each other, Wei Ying had been digging through Lan Zhan's garbage. They'd made eye contact over the shredded bags, the week's trash scattered around him like stinky, oversized Lego. Lan Zhan's eyes had been wide with horror, and Wei Ying's had been equally wide with feigned innocence. He'd reached out slowly, maintaining the eye contact, and then flipped over the food waste bin full of onion peel and carrot skin as a distraction and slunk off into the night. Probably not his finest moment. - Modern AU dragon!LWJ meets fox!WWX.

“He’s so beautiful,” Lan Zhan says, tongue loosened by the weed. Besides, Mianmian’s room is his safe space. He can say what he likes here, so he does. “I want to know what his mouth tastes like. I want him to put his mouth on my—” “No, no, no, no,” Jin Zixuan says, making an X with his arms. “For the love of Christ, keep it PG-13, please.” — In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

soft, domestic friends-to-lovers modern/celebrity au ft. musician jiang cheng & artist nie huaisang

nyargles)

Wei Ying was sprawled on the floor in front of the oscillating fan when Lan Zhan got home from work.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian got together, of course. They're still figuring things out. Just gratuitous porn. Sometimes that's all you need.

Two gremlins, their husbands, and the horrible HOA board. As long as nobody gets arrested for arson or murder, we're gonna call it a win.

Art/Comics

“There’s still time to back out, you know,” Wei Ying says, quiet enough that even the attendants waiting at the corners of their table won’t hear. Lan Wangji pauses in the middle of reaching for the sash on Wei Ying’s—on his husband’s—outer robes. A pit opens in his stomach. His hand falls to his lap, and he lifts his eyes to meet Wei Ying’s. “Is that what you want?” --- The components of the marriage ceremony are easy in theory. The handfasting, the bows, the feast... and the Taking.

There's a mermaid bleeding in the lifeboat. Wei Ying stands over the mermaid on the ship deck with his thumbs hooked into his own belt, coat swung back behind him. The mermaid looks at him like he’s a particularly pathetic bug, even though Wei Ying isn’t the one laying flat-out on the deck looking like a- well. A fish out of water, basically. Wei Ying crouches in front of him and the mermaid bares his teeth, presumably to warn him off of touching or coming closer. Wei Ying holds his hands up, but frowns severely to establish dominance. “Hey, buddy,” He says. “It’s not my fault you decided to bleed all over a lifeboat. We need those.”

Wei Wuxian is ready, waiting. The front and back doors of the Jingshi wait open, allowing the early summer breeze to pass through the house, bringing with it the scent of the flowers from the back garden. He has rope, crimson and smooth and well-worn, coiled in a neat pile. He has tea, perfectly brewed, the lightly flavored (nearly tasteless) kind that Lan Zhan likes, waiting in a pot with a warming talisman. There’s a comb, fine-toothed of carved white jade. There’s fruit, for later, perfectly ripe. There’s a small knife with a curved blade, still sharp as anything but stained with years of sap. There’s the garden, lovingly tended and fully in bloom in waves of pinks and purples and whites. There’s him, lounging against the frame of the back door, limbs sprawled about in the languid way that looks careless to an outsider but is actually carefully choreographed to put as much of himself on display as possible. He’s technically fully dressed, red inner robe and black outer, but the black outer robe is unbelted, half-hanging off one shoulder, and he’s decidedly not wearing trousers. His bare feet poke out the red folds, pale against the wood of the Jingshi deck. Or: Rope bondage as the deepest expression of affection.

“Did you break the ward to come in?” Lan Wangji asks, point-blank. He has his sword out and pointed at Wei Wuxian, no bothering with niceties like hello I’m Lan Wangji, and you are? Wei Wuxian eyes the sword, but doesn’t react. He keeps lazing back on the roof, casually drinking his wine, as if this is the usual way he meets new people. (And maybe it is! I don’t know your life, Wei Wuxian!) Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet on Season 8 of The Cultivation World. Ouyang Zizhen writes the recaps.

"Hi, I'm Wei Wuxian. I'm a Career Omega and this is my fourth season on the show. I like spicy food, archery and alphas who are funny. Or maybe I don't, I haven't rolled over for one yet." On-screen, Wei Wuxian winks at the audience laughter. Hot or Knot is the world's most popular reality TV show. Part dating show, part survival show, Hot or Knot is everyone's guilty pleasure - and Wei Wuxian is a fan favourite. - The Love Island/Hunger Games reality dating tv show A/B/O au

Wei Ying might be an alpha but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to get fucked and knotted sometimes, okay? So, after buying herself a knotting dildo, she sets out to make her dreams come true. Unfortunately, the dildo gets a little... stuck... Luckily, her roommate, Lan Zhan, is home to lend a helping hand!

Meet the Queens of Gusu’s Drag Race Season 5! by QIN SU Oh my god, we’re back again. Hot on the heels of the shocking finale of season 4, Gusu’s Drag Race is back, with perennial judge Lan Qiren, Gusu’s grumpiest shufu, and featuring the return of the grandmother of drag Baoshan Sanren. And this season is already promising one. “We’ve never had such a strong cast of refined, professional queens. It has the makings to be the greatest season of Drag Race yet.” Big talk for the Emmy-award-winning show that has shot dozens of queens to fame, bringing drag to the mainstream. “The mainstream may be taking notice, but there’s nothing mainstream about drag done right,” says co-host Baoshan Sanren. “Drag is about disobedience. It’s rebellious and anti-mainstream by its very definition, and we’ve got some queens this season with the chops to prove it.” With all that to look forward to, let’s Meet the Queens who’ve already captivated our judges.