One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Phil Coulson has spent half his life working toward the Stanley Cup. The Malibu Avengers might finally be the team to take him there.

When Thor fell, everything trembled.

Prompt: Steve thinks that he should have died all those years ago, so he gets reckless: going off to fight the bad guys on his own without back-up. Eventually, Steve gets really injured due to his dare-devil antics and the team turns to Tony to reason with Steve. Subsequently, Tony gives Steve the best pep talk of his entire life, if by pep talk you mean blow job. And then, casually, as Tony leaves, he turns and goes, "Cut this 'I wanna die' bullshit. It's not a good look for you." AND STEVE DOES.

The Avengers take initiative. Or, the story of how a group of remarkable people came together to drink cocktails, eat ice-cream and wait for Fury's call. Post-movie.

Tony is enlisted to help Steve Rogers acclimate to the modern world. Expect humor, friendship, muted drama, and page after page of awkward conversations. As of now, slash if you squint.

Despite all appearances, Loki was quite good with children. Mostly his own, but other children too. Even if their parents disapproved. Crack one-shot, Avenger!Loki/Norse!Loki, no pairings. Complete.

They debriefed at Stark Towers. That should have been his first clue.

Behind the long line of locks, Bruce waits for a chance to escape. Collared, imprisoned, property of the army. Until Lord Mage Anthony Stark ... decides he's not having that. Fantasy AU.

This is a collection of headcanons for the Avengers! Hope you enjoy.

Bonding over sleepless nights, incoherency, and pizza. Because sometimes, you need a friend. "Sure you won't come up for a drink? You know, as long as you're in the neighborhood." "I bet you say that to all the defrosted soldiers on your doorstep at three in the morning."

Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

For an LJ avengerkink prompt: Steve is very confused/weirded out by the distinct lack of pubic hair on modern women (or at least the women Tony has forcibly exposed him to). Sure he's a virgin, but he's seen naughty pictures/European burlesque shows. Therefore he's more than a little apprehensive when Natasha finally gets her panties off. Luckily she's a firm believer in giving her partners something to hold on to. Steve goes wild. +1 - it happens during group sexytimes and all the others stop what they're doing to watch Steve eat her out

"If I were Christian fucking Bale, or Jesus Christ help me, Clooney in the nipple suit, gearing up to play Bruce fictional fucking Wayne, he'd send me a fucking fictional helicopter."

[[... porn.]] Or, the one where Steve wants to talk to Tony about something important.

It's Go Time!

Steve goes on a road trip to clear his head, but the other Avengers won't leave him alone.

Tony Stark has faced kidnappers before. He may only be four years old, but his new friends are strong and brave, and together they can take on any monster…even the ones that come from within. And oddly enough, this is not an AU. Coulson probably wishes it were.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

Steve had an ass like...it could make Tony write sonnets if he did that sort of thing, he was sure. Really bad ones, with phrases like "unyielding spheres of rapture," so it was a good thing he's no poet.

Clint and Coulson become sparring partners when it's clear Clint needs a new challenge. Clint is not prepared for the results.

Tony’s not going to deny that he’s ridiculously excited. Steve. In his bed. Naked. Everything is rainbows and nothing hurts.

The news report seems more interested in the argument between the team during the fight than the way they eventually won. And then it gets worse.

Tony gets that the others think this is an ego thing - the way he can’t resist pushing Steve’s buttons. Honest-to-God, the guy just bugs him. Mostly because Steve is distractingly perfect, but a little bit because of the family history.

There it is, the word he's been trying harder than anything not to even think, and now that it's out there's no hiding from it. (aka the Angry Goat Noise remix; no spoilers for movie)

“We had sex,” Clint says, bluntly. “Collectively.” [Written for Porn Battle; Warnings apply]

They call him Hawkeye for more than just his eyesight and aim.

Darcy is maybe a little disappointed he didn't go for a dress. [Written for Porn Battle]

Few people ever see inside Tony Stark; fewer can stomach what they find; next to no one claims to still like him afterwards. So Tony hides, closing all the doors and battening down the hatches, using charm and confidence as armor when he's not in the suit. To Tony's horror, Steve somehow manages to see inside him anyway.

Tony is the only one who can defend Steve's virtue. Tony hates his life.

Tony offers Bruce something he hasn't had in a long time and then slowly includes the rest of the Avengers.

Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

Tony was fine. Talking to Tony about science was fine. It just felt a little bit strange to combine the two and ask to see the incredible scientific innovation that happened to reside inside of Tony’s chest.

“You had me a little worried, there,” Clint says, and nods him into the hotel room. “Thought you might've gotten lost on the way in.” “Parking,” he replies, and clears his throat.

Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.

The plane crash and subsequent ice might have killed him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still around, haunting those he cares about. And since the only person who can see him is Tony Stark, death sure isn’t going to be boring.

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]

By Phil’s count, this is his third attempt at bringing the Avengers together, although he will admit his participation in the second attempt was more symbolic than anything else. He hadn’t expected Stark to be the easiest sell, or Barton to be the most problematic, but things have changed since he’s been away. [Movie spoilers.]

Darcy watches. It's kinda what she's being paid for. More or less. That and the coffee.

In which Bruce is a badass, the team is surprised, and Tony approves.

“Welcome, newbies, to the only class SHIELD has to offer on surviving this shit. I'll be your teacher today, hi, Tony Stark, Iron Man, CEO of awesome."

Written for Cthonical, who was having a bit of a day yesterday. She asked for Guns and adrenaline-fueled post-danger fucking, possibly with a little blood and not waiting to get to a room.

In which Clint takes a leap of faith in more ways than one.

In which Steve is introduced to the grand old tradition of Movie Night.

The Avengers are now a team (sort of), but they're still lost creatures. Set after the movie; contains spoilers.

Oh, that last art post was five months ago, wasn't it? I should fix that...

[SPOILERS] The shadows of night managed to hide a lot of the destruction, but the scars were still there. Steve knew those scars would be there for a long time to come. They weren’t the only scars that would take time to heal. Everyone grieves differently. What is surprisingly similar, however, are the curses when the Avengers find out the one they’re grieving for isn’t actually dead.

The blur has resolved itself into a man, mostly covered in red and blue, who turns his masked head and snarks cheerfully at Tony.