The Asgardians' ship stops for supplies. The price is not what Thor and Loki had expected; the aliens demand nothing less than a public royal fucking. Ok, it's not like it's the weirdest thing they've ever done.

Join the Try Guys as they plunge headlong into the Archive of Our Own! Will Keith's MCU gangbang wow the masses? Can Zach reconcile his love of Harry Potter canon with its fandom? Will Eugene's cannibal cops serial still work if he files off the serial numbers? Find out as the Try Guys tackle the world...of Fanfiction!

Zabuza steels himself, breathes out. Remembers he can move, that he can speak, and slowly, carefully slides to his knees. Not a position he would take for anyone else, even Mei if she ever wore the Mizukage's hat, not after a lifetime spent clawing his way up from the streets and into a place of his own power. But—gods are something different. They have to be, or they can't offer miracles, and Zabuza needs that miracle right now. “I was told that you help those seeking justice,” he says.

“Look at you,” Shisui says admiringly, rocking back on his heels and surveying his prize. Sequel to 'if you can find that leap of faith', but entirely plotless.

Andrew’s learned to like cake, he’s learned to like oysters, and he’s learned to like Steven.

(a little bit joyful) Everything changes after Yuri wins the Grand Prix Final. He starts to figure some things out.

It's not that Cullen's a virgin, he's just never done this before.

Yuri and Otabek exchange a series of text messages. They get sexy.

Yuri and Otabek exchange a series of text messages. They get sexy.

Simon goes to Raphael in the hope to make peace with him after the events of Season 1's finale. It goes a whole lot better than he could ever have expected.

Short fics originally posted to my Tumblr, edited and collected here.

"Steven, that was a horse, it was not a unicorn because unicorns don't exist. Can we please focus on the much larger problem at hand here? We are lost in the Irish countryside with no food, dead phones, and the only person we've seen for hours was a creepy lady in a cart. A cart, Steven. Don't focus on what the crazy cart lady told you, focus on the fact that if we're lost for much longer it won't matter if it was a unicorn or not because I'm gonna find it and I'm gonna eat the fucking horse!" "Whoa," Steven says. "That is the most I've ever heard you modulate your voice, you're really freaked out, huh?"

or, why Eddie Brock can never return to his favorite coffee shop

The cellular union of Eddie Brock and Venom is not without consequences. Alternatively, Eddie goes into heat (or some alien equivalent of it). It's Venom's fault. "The need unfurls inside of him—doubled but easier to bear now that it is shared. He understands what must be done, has always known. It is as basic and primitive as breathing."

“Just to be clear,” Andrew says. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?” Steven giggles. “Spite’s such a harsh word. Shock and impress, maybe.” “For a man of faith you’re being awfully morally flexible about this,” Andrew says.

Sharing an apartment with Todoroki was great 99% of the time, but the other 1% was Midoriya getting walked in on jerking off before he'd even managed to get his hero costume off after work.

Once the scent came to his nose, Oberyn had to pursue it. He had to find the source.

Patrick figures it's a little late in his life for these kinds of realizations. Brian, though, has a way of making him want things he'd never thought possible.

Your conversation with your mom is less informative than your conversation with your sister. You text: > Hey so are you kicking me out of the house for Thanksgiving or what She responds: > Dont put it like that > But yes > Hv fun w/the gberts! Followed by a series of emoji: a turkey, a pie, a kiss, and a firework.

You can find some interesting things in those old, abandoned thaigs... ******* As a general warning: it's all 100% consensual, but there isn't a whole lot of negotiation on specific acts ahead of time, and there are a few (quickly corrected) mis-steps. Nobody gets hurt, or even actually upset, but I know that's a sensitive issue for some.

The assassin is flirting with him. Alistair is not impressed. No, really, he's not!

The Internet may be a great teacher, but you still have to know what you're looking for. Kala hadn't even thought to think of this before now.

Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.

“You okay with this?” Han might have been asking him, or Leia. Probably both. Leia looked between them, a little smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. “I’m willing to share.” “Luke?” There was probably some common sense argument to be made against sleeping with both of them--but hell, he’d been blowing past the common sense arguments against sleeping with Leia for months now. He slowly nodded. “Y--” he cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

No one would help him get to the bottom of Kerberos, and it had all reached a breaking point when Iverson threatened to terminate Keith’s scholarship if he kept snooping. So Keith got what he came for, the little black book no one was ever meant to find, and stopped snooping. Because now, he’ll have someone else to do all the snooping for him. The situation isn’t ideal, Keith thinks as he slits his palm open and methodically draws the pentagram on the floor, placing the necessary items one by one into each point of the star. But considering the circumstances, he thinks he’s done alright for himself. More importantly, for Shiro.

Felix is right about too many things too often for Wolfgang's peace of mind. That includes that he should maybe, just maybe, let Rajan know he wants to ride his dick.

Geralt is not making a nest. Jaskier has noticed this. Geralt is in fact drinking a rather foul-smelling potion that sours the sweetness of his scent and muffles its otherwise obvious meaning. “Does that stop heat?” Jaskier asks curiously, absentmindedly tuning his lute as he speaks. He hadn’t thought anything could, but, well . . . witchers and their potions. “No,” Geralt says darkly.

"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened." Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing, but Lan Zhan is giving Xichen a look of utter betrayal. "You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?" Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now." Wei Wuxian starts again from the beginning.

“You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.” “Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.” Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.

Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’ ‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’

‘Don’t indulge in pleasure,’ was perfectly comprehensible - at fourteen Lan Wangji already knew that that meant no second helping of stew, even if you were still hungry, and definitely no more little cakes, your mother should never have made those for you to try in the first place. - Or Five Times Lan Wangji learnt something about sex

Lan Wangji discovers a kink. Wei Wuxian narrowly avoids discovering Lan Wangji's kink.

Wei Wuxian interrupts his musing. “Do you want to try that?” Jiang Cheng glances at him, being careful to keep the lower half of his body flat on the bed. Is Wei Wuxian stupid? “Who wouldn’t want to try that? But who would,” he falters, “do it for me?" Wei Wuxian is fiddling with the blanket but his gaze when he meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes is daring, not shy at all. “I’d do it. To you,” he adds, in case his meaning wasn’t clear. “C’mon, Jiang Cheng. You’d like it, huh? Let me. Let me suck your cock.” He’s pouting, an expression that Jiang Cheng knows to his bones means trouble. “It’ll be good, I promise.” How many times has Wei Wuxian coaxed him into something foolish with that same tone of voice and that same smile? And how many times has it ended with trouble for Jiang Cheng?

Xiao Zhan doesn’t bother listening or saying anything in response to Yibo's ranting, just holds the phone a little closer to his face and lets a low moan hover at the edge of his breathing. He’s looking at the red tip of Yibo’s cock where it peeks out from his foreskin and thinking about licking it. Yibo’s indignation comes through clearly over the phone. “Are you— Are you jacking it, Xiao Zhan?” “Uh huh,” Xiao Zhan sighs, and tries his best to let the wet sounds of his hand on his cock get louder. Maybe he should grab lube for extra squelchiness. “Oh, no way. Nope, I can’t handle this,” Yibo declares and the line goes dead. Xiao Zhan laughs softly to himself, and somehow that transforms into the convulsions of orgasm and he comes all over his hand. He takes a picture and sends it to Yibo. see you tomorrow

Geralt mistakes Jaskier for a, ahem, lady of the night, and Jaskier goes with it. As you do. "I don't require a whore." Funny thing is, Jaskier wasn't about to offer. He means to convey words to that effect to settle the matter and dispel any potential future misunderstandings, but finds himself saying instead, "Why not?"

“Do you know how?” Wang Yizhou asks, but it’s all a light tease, and he’s already taking his hand away, as if in expectation. “Nope!” says Ji Li, confident. Then, in a move that he will recognise, in hindsight, to be the start of the complete undoing of his whole night, he adds, “But I’ll learn. Really quick.” He fishes out his phone from the pocket of his shorts, and holds it up, almost conspiratorial. “Bet I’ll have it down in one video. I’m very resourceful like that.”

When Nie Huaisang gets paired with straight porn star Jiang Cheng for a five-part series, he’s sure it will be an utter disaster. Until the cameras start rolling and their chemistry alights like wildfire. (Or, the five times Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng have sex for their job, and the first time they have sex outside of it.)

Parker and Hardison figure out how to take their relationship to the next level, with occasional input from Eliot.

There are times Jack thinks he's a very lucky man.

When Jiang Yanli joins Jiang Cheng in visiting Wei Wuxian at the Burial Grounds, the two brothers are on the verge of cutting ties forever — until Jiang Yanli has a better idea. Wei Wuxian doesn't need to leave the sect. He needs to get married, and she has the perfect Sect Leader in mind. When Lan Wangji is invited to come along on Wei Wuxian's visit to the Unclean Realm to spend time with his new betrothed, Nie Mingjue, he agrees — even though his heart is breaking. How else is he ever going to see Wei Wuxian again? When Nie Mingjue welcomes Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji into his home, he realizes two things very quickly: 1.) They clearly want each other so badly they can barely stand it, and 2.) Nie Mingjue is Into That. (In which arranged marriage to Nie Mingjue solves just about everyone's problems)

Sui Zhou picks up the book, balancing it atop one thigh as he pages through. "The author has included many falsehoods. The love scenes are completely unrealistic." He looks up, holding Tang Fan's wide, surprised gaze with his own steady one. "Actually, I would bet two hundred taels that whoever wrote this is a virgin." Tang Fan chokes on nothing, finally managing to squawk, "What!" ----- Sometimes the only way to improve one's erotic novels is to receive a proper demonstration of good technique.

If Tang Fan believed Sui Zhou harbored any amorous intent towards him, well, to put it mildly, Sui Zhou wouldn’t need to lace his tea with any aphrodisiacs.

Wei Ying was sprawled on the floor in front of the oscillating fan when Lan Zhan got home from work.

“Spit it out,” said Mobei Jun impatiently. “It’s just—the only, um, method of reversing this curse that I know of would be very unpleasant for you! Extremely unpleasant! You’d probably want to avoid it at all costs! So I think the best course of action would be for me to do a little more additional research to see if I can find another way that would be less, um, personally distasteful for you, my King. That is, of course, assuming that being trapped in this lowly servant’s body isn’t already too distasteful to bear?” “Tell me what your ‘method’ entails and I will make a decision,” said Mobei Jun. aka, Mobei Jun touches an object that curses he and Shang Qinghua to swap bodies.

"Really, Xie Lian, you don't even jerk it??" Shi Qingxuan insists. "I mean it's none of my business and you can tell me to fuck off, but holy shit, lady." Xie Lian laughs, feeling her cheeks color, and shrugs again. "I don't know, something about the mechanics of it just never made sense to me," she admits. "And anyway that's time I should be spending studying." -- It comes out that Xie Lian's never had an orgasm. She goes to Hua Cheng for help. • theyre lesbians

After a dangerous fight, Tamaki needs a... special kind of stress relief. Kirishima is more than happy to help his Senpai out, even when he has an unusual request.

Liu Qingge is struck by a poison that affects him at inopportune moments. The only cure, of course, is dual cultivation with an accomplished cultivator. Too bad that the only person around is Luo Binghe, and that suddenly everything is happening at once. Yue Qingyuan? Kidnapped. Shen Qingqiu? On his way to rescue him. Luo Binghe? Confronting a truth he never expected. And Liu Qingge is left with his spotty cultivation, a bone to pick, and no plans for how to cure himself of the poison.

It doesn’t occur to him to ask what helping would entail until Mikey gives him a sideways look. “Don’t think it’s the kind of help you should ask your brother for,” he says. “But thanks.” Gerard tries to think of something he wouldn’t help Mikey do, but there’s nothing. He’d drive a getaway car, bury a body, even give him bone marrow, and he’s seen the needles they use to get at that shit. “There’s no such thing,” he says. Mikey shrugs, picks up an ad for lipstick and starts tearing around the edge of the logo. “It’s kind of a sex thing,” he mumbles.

'I just thought...I mean, we're 18! I figured maybe you'd fooled around. A little?' First time comic.

Wei Ying might be an alpha but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to get fucked and knotted sometimes, okay? So, after buying herself a knotting dildo, she sets out to make her dreams come true. Unfortunately, the dildo gets a little... stuck... Luckily, her roommate, Lan Zhan, is home to lend a helping hand!