Wentz’s eyebrows rise again, differently from the last time. Bob can’t tell if he’s surprised that Bob hasn’t denied anything or if he hasn’t heard all the rumors. He squints at Wentz, waiting for the reaction that will pretty much shape his entire opinion of the guy. Wentz grins this evil, evil grin and just says “Really?” meditatively as he sips at his coffee. “Aw, fuck,” Bob groans as he stubs out the cigarette. This is worse than rejection. Pete fucking Wentz is going to try fixing him up. Fuck.

"So," Ryland says, flopping down next to Pete. "I hear we're having a seed pod." "Patrick has a big mouth," Pete says sourly. "I should shut it for him."

Um, Daemons! at the Disco! Or something. In other words, an AU set within the general timeframe of Panic's Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour.

"You're really extraordinarily good at rationalization," his therapist says over the phone, sounding impressed. Pete decides to take it as a compliment, though he realizes he hasn't actually told his therapist about the fucking people who like his best friend. She probably wouldn't be complimenting him on anything if she knew about that.

Have you ever seen the movie 'Sliding Doors'? Yeah, this is that, only with boys in the Chicago emo/hardcore scene. Set in 2003; just tilt the scene a little one way or another, and you could very well have had this.

Ray is just a normal dude working a normal job and teaching guitar on the side, but the weird thing is he totally decorates like an old lady, and is a collector of elephants. But he's not embarrassed about this AT ALL, he's totally proud of it, and he likes to show people when they come visit and tell the stories of where he got them all. So naturally, when normal dude Bob falls in love with him, Bob totally brings him an elephant the day they get engaged. So Ray doesn't get an engagement RING, he gets a totally badass engagement elephant.

Bizarre zombie/vampire hybrids attack, Gerard is sad because no one will take it seriously, Pete hits on Jon, Brendon and Frank giggle at each other, and Joe and Ray have a hair-off. \o/

When Patrick was seventeen, he knocked on the door at Andy's mom's house and asked the question that would pretty much fuck Andy Hurley for the next four years.

"She's—like, on the one hand she's totally been shaped by the bullshit culture of celebrity out here, but she has this thing where she just—she fucking owns it, you know? She makes it part of her." He runs his finger around the rim of his coffee cup like he's trying to make it sing. "I'm glad you like her, though." Patrick shrugs. "I just hope she likes me, you know?" "Well," Pete says, "duh," like it's just that easy.

Pete has a genetic abnormality that he takes pills for. One day he forgets his pills and ooops, gets pregnant!

Pete was drunk, Gerard was caffeine-deprived. Accidents happen.

And Mikey just says, very calmly because she's been practicing, "I'm having a baby, you're the father, I'm keeping it."

Eventually, though, he decides that he'd rather have another nap than figure out whether it's Brendon or Ryan or Spencer flipping through the stack of CDs on Patrick's kitchen table. Not-Jon-Walker looks up, wide-eyed, when Bob gets off the couch, then smiles when Bob tilts his head toward the bedroom and mutters something that could probably be an explanation.

Ryan Ross had been able to hear Spencer Smith in his head for as long as he could remember. Well, not exactly hear. It wasn’t like he was telepathic, there was just sort of a buzz, a sense of Spencer Smith’s presence. Over the years, it had become like white noise, just there in the background. Ryan couldn’t imagine what it would be like not to hear Spencer all the time, anymore than he could imagine not longing after Spencer.

Where Spencer and Ryan go on a vacation to the Caribbean, and get swept away to the 18th Century during the American Revolution.

Pete’s having way too much fun with Brendon’s power. Over the course of dinner he’s stolen people’s lasagna (and he’s given them all to Patrick—it’s ridiculous because the two of them are surrounded by a lasagna mountain), made Gabe dance, even through it wasn’t all that hard to convince the school’s elastic man to dance, in retrospect, and he’s also convinced Gerard that Frank’s name is really Sir Dipshit Esq. (which Spencer thinks went just a little too far).

The AU where Panic is a wedding band called The First Wives’ Club. Brendon named them. It’s okay though: Pete’s wedding band is called Lloyd Dobler’s Boombox, but only because it kind of stuck. Also MCR are the leaders of the enemy wedding band camp. Then Ryan makes a bet with Frank Iero because he’s bad at life like that, and suddenly they’re in a duel to the death. Or, a wedding band-off, since unfortunately their lives aren’t a sequel to Boyz N The Hood.

"You hate fun, don't you?" Ashlee asked, leaning her head against her arms at the side of the pool. "That's really what this is. You are a hater of fun, in all forms."

The oldest child in the Wentz-Stump household is Pierce Wentz, and who resembles his dad most of all. His dad's smile, his dad's swagger, his dad's compelling stare. He's the one that also gave Patrick the most grief when Patrick finally succumbed to Pete's constant nagging to move into the bigger house; he was unforgivably rude to Patrick, he yelled at his father, terrible, terrible things that sent Pete into red-tinged rages and resulted in slamming doors and the younger children crying quietly in corners until a parent or Christine came to comfort them.

They're all running away, the problem is, can they survive until they get where they're going? An AU in which Mikey and Pete run a shelter, Spencer has Ryan, and Brendon has no one. At least not at first.

When Gerard realizes that he’ll never get with Lyn-Z after his friends let him know she’s into girls, there’s only one possible course of action: dress in drag and join her punk rock Dolly Parton cover band in hopes of wooing her. High school AU.

Jane Austen AU. There’s a wedding, heartache and matchmaking, and it all happens in the 19th century England. It all made perfect sense in my head.

oe's brain maybe realizes it's happening when Spencer's tugging the zipper of his jeans down. "What?" Joe manages, because, what?

Joe puts his money where his mouth is.

Two boys, one cold basement mattress.

Mobsters and hoodies and Vegas, oh my! AU.

Pete is not the most observant person in the world.

He turned back, swerving to avoid a group of girls making a beeline for the stuffed animal toss, and then he was in front of the table. The guy had a on a short-sleeved t-shirt that showed off muscled, tattooed arms, and Patrick really hoped he wasn't going to get punched. But, anti-war activists were inherently non-violent, right? He was also wearing a nametag that said, MY NAME IS: PETE in black block print sharpie, with you know you wanna hit this written hastily underneath.

In a world where werewolves, vampires, and humans live together in shaky and relative peace, Spencer finds a boy on the side of the road, naked, bruised and sporting vampire bites. Stopping to save him might just be the dumbest thing Spencer's ever done . . . or the best.

Spencer finally meets Patrick, Ryan and Frank continue to be awkward, Brendon stashes blenders under display tables to have an excuse to talk to Jon, and Pete tries to cockblock himself (only Pete, guys, seriously)

Brendon watches in a mildly horrified fashion as Spencer lifts the poster off the ground, his forehead crinkling as he looks it over. He thinks miserably about how all his plans for coolness are flying out the window as he sits there. He’s just about to resign himself to another four years of being shoved into lockers (or whatever the slightly snobby college equivalent is – Brendon shudders to think), but all Spencer says is “Huh.” Brendon doesn’t say anything, so Spencer starts reading out loud. “’Auditions are being held this weekend, the 29th and 30th of September, for the student drama society’s production of The History Boys.’ Cool.”

A quarterlife crisis is when all your what-ifs, the lives you could have lived, gather and fight about choices you should have made and opportunities you shouldn't have missed.

Always been girls AU. So, the point is, sometimes Mikey forgets she’s a girl and it’s really not that big a deal until she meets Petra "Call Me Pete" Wentz.

"One last question for Spencer and Jon," the polite, really short British interviewer said. "How does it feel to know that your fans have thrown their full support behind your relationship?" Spencer fell off arm of the sofa he had been perched on.

It was just an experiment. It wasn't like Pete was planning on reading this stuff for pleasure, right? So that made it okay. Otherwise known as "Pete ventures into fandom."

Pete sat on the hotel bed and tried to watch Patrick surreptitiously to see if Patrick was maybe surreptitiously watching him back. But he really, really wasn't. Pete knew he looked good – he'd made sure of that in the bathroom mirror before coming out into the room. The white hotel towel made his skin look even darker and his tattoos looked awesome against it all. He was clean and slightly – sexily – wet from the shower. His hair was pushed back (but messily rumpled too) and he smelled amazing. Patrick was straight in the most annoying way.