With their anniversary drawing close, Parker learns about the birthday of sex, finds an apprentice and stumbles into a job for the team. Also wherein Eliot is growly and awesome, Alec is a genius, Sophie is the fastest con in the west… or anywhere, and Nate puts up with all of them. ** Winner of Best Case Fic 2011 Fulcrum Award **

Eliot found a way to make his style work at Dalton Academy. It just worked a little too well.

In which Captain America can do (almost) anything, and Tonk Stark has daddy issues--who's surprised? Y'all can read this as being in the same 'verse as Ready, Fire, Aim, or not; to be honest, I haven't decided myself if it is or isn't.

There’s a small child in Tony Stark’s lab. Tony looks at it. It looks at him.

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Phil Coulson, kindergarten teacher at S. L. Shields Elementary School, a wealthy, upper-middle class suburb has just gotten his new class of students. Like every class he has, they have their ups and downs, and life is never dull. Phil does his best to give all his kids a good foundation, and help out those who need a little extra from him. And if things sometimes get a little crazy, well, he's used to that.

"Okay. So. Kids. It can't be too hard, right? People dumber than us raise kids all the time. Not much to them. Just feed them, water them, distract them with shiny things and make sure they aren't unsupervised for too long. Speaking of which, how long has tiny-spawn been alone in your kitchen?" Steve and Tony (and The Avengers!) from the movie!cast + child!Peter Parker with a very AU backstory involving genetic experimentation aboard an abandoned space station (but that doesn't--strangely enough--feature all that heavily).

So I was on tvtropes and was reading the page for the Iron Man movies, and someone had put on there that Dummy was one of the first robots Tony had ever built. And I went back and watched those opening scenes again, when they’re doing that profile of Tony and mention him graduating from MIT at 17, and sure enough it’s Dummy that he’s pictured with in that magazine article. I don’t know how I missed it the first ten times I watched this movie. And then there go all my feels, because he might tell Dummy he’s useless all the time but he still kept him even though it’s been like 20 years since Tony built him and he’s had to have come up with a hundred better designs for him by now but he hasn’t scrapped him, just made various attachments for him so he can use him all the time, even for putting together his Iron Man suit. And then Dummy goes and saves his life. So yeah all my feels for Tony and his robots :’)

Tony offers Bruce something he hasn't had in a long time and then slowly includes the rest of the Avengers.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

Tony Stark has faced kidnappers before. He may only be four years old, but his new friends are strong and brave, and together they can take on any monster…even the ones that come from within. And oddly enough, this is not an AU. Coulson probably wishes it were.

It's Go Time!

Despite all appearances, Loki was quite good with children. Mostly his own, but other children too. Even if their parents disapproved. Crack one-shot, Avenger!Loki/Norse!Loki, no pairings. Complete.

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone. They could be on the road to anywhere and they invariably are. Clint's fingers rest on Coulson's and, like the trapeze or the bowstring, he has learned the value of grip and he doesn't leave bloody fingerprints anymore.

Inspired by Chapter 3 of TheGreatSporkWielder's "Waking Up in Vegas" where Darcy and Bruce promised to make JARVIS godfather of their first child. Margaret Rebecca Banner had a mystery to solve.

butterfly effect, n. 1. A tenet of chaos theory that describes how small actions can have large effects. 2. A Final Fantasy VII AU working off this premise. When a little blond boy awakens an old Turk from his long sleep, no one could've guessed how things would change.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not my father.”

So gyzym wrote a bunch of Steve/Tony kidfics on tumblr, and I podficced them, because they're adorable and lovely and squee-ful and just so, so perfect. And then there were four more and I pounced on them!

After the events of Halloween 1981, Sirius Black finds himself raising Harry, with the assistance of Remus, in a world where Voldemort never disappears for 11 years.

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone. This fic is the prequel to 'you're the one who sees the darkness on the edge of town', which I've previously podficced here.

"Okay. So. Kids. It can't be too hard, right? People dumber than us raise kids all the time. Not much to them. Just feed them, water them, distract them with shiny things and make sure they aren't unsupervised for too long. Speaking of which, how long has tiny-spawn been alone in your kitchen?" Steve and Tony (and The Avengers!) from the movie!cast + child!Peter Parker with a very AU backstory involving genetic experimentation aboard an abandoned space station (but that doesn't--strangely enough--feature all that heavily).

Six years ago, Santana Lopez disappeared following graduation. The costs for therapy and rehab to get out of her chair, made Quinn Fabray realize she couldn't have Yale, so she went with her second acceptance - NYU. Rachel Berry missed out on NYADA but made it into Tisch, only to find herself as roommates with Quinn after tearing herself away from Finn to go to New York. Eventually a gin soaked night led to a tormented relationship that eventually was surrendered to save their fading friendship. When Rachel finally managed to land a Broadway lead under Quinn's management, they were shocked by who showed up for the latest opening as Rachel's assistant. What neither of them had ever expected was that she'd have a child with her. One she'd ran away to New York to be able to have without the shame Quinn had gone through.

AU. In the aftermath of October 31st, 1981, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black try to set their differences aside to keep Harry safe.

"They're not going to bite, you know," She drawled without even turning to look at him, as she forced a sausage-like Harleybertian leg in a leg-hole. She was smirking, though, he could tell from her voice. "Or projectile venom. Hell, even vomit wouldn't get that far." Prequel to Battlefield Terra. 3 000 words of Mr. Strider meeting his newborn clonebabies for the first time. Also features Doc Lalonde.

Non-Sburb AU. Bro Strider has to raise a kid with gender dysphoria. Trying not to screw Dave up permanently is hard, and nobody understands.

You have to put him in school, and if you weren't busy trying to make money to keep a roof over his head in this world where neither of you belong, you would be all about home schooling. You have to prepare him for the game. You only got eight years left.

Aradia had always thought seadwellers were all nasty, ruthless, terrible monsters who abused their place on the hemospectrum. After an encounter with the Heiress herself, she realizes that maybe not all seadwellers are bad after all.

Tony Stark finds himself as a de-aged Loki Odinsson's temporarily designated parental figure, through no fault of his own. Responsible superhero co-parenting doesn't just involve feeding, housing and clothing a tiny Asgardian, it involves rubber ducks, transdimensional vortexes at bathtime, fruit parties, pictures of robots that draw other robots and hoverboards (eventually), as the team keep Loki safe while they look for a solution.

He doesn’t tell Dave why he hides his food under the futon, behind mixing equipment, inside the bricks of his desk. Why his swords are two steps from where he sleeps, and why he’s trained himself to cat nap in three hour intervals of insomniac nervousness.

The first time you pass by the troll in the box you kind of try not to see it. It's gross as fuck when people do this. You guess maybe it's better than driving them out into the country and dumping them to make it on their own, or those stories you've heard about people dumping unwanted wrigglers in sacks into rivers--those you try not to think about because fuck, that is not okay on any level but it's not like you can do shit about it.

On the meteor, Rose, Dave, Kanaya, Terezi, and Karkat find themselves passing through a series of hooked-together dreambubbles inhabited by some utterly inexplicable grubs. Grubs that squeak and fuss and cling and chew holes in their clothes. Grubs who resemble to a distressing extent trolls whom the meteor-dwellers killed or were killed by, but essentially grubs who need someone to see to them, even in dreambubbles out of time.

Steve stares at Thor. Then down at the children. It isn't that he doesn't understand what Thor is saying; it's just that he's sure that isn't possible. "Are you saying that those kids are Coulson and Stark?" Natasha demands. Steve is so glad that someone other than him asked that question. Thor nods encouragingly. "I am. Is that not a relief?" "Um," Clint says. He sounds as though he's going to freak out any second. "No?"

Ex-military Eridan Ampora has an honorable discharge hanging on his wall, dreams of battlefields that haunt him around every turn and a pair of trolls who scurry around his house and snoop in his things when they think he isn't looking while they wait for their own scars to fade. Somehow, he thinks that that's enough. Inspired by Unwanted Free Ugly Troll.

Summer camp is the best place for friendship, adventures, and most of all, science!

When the Avengers raid a very dubious scientific installation, they come across something they'd never expected to find. Their discovery turns out to be even more surprising than first suspected, and it leads the team - especially Steve and Tony - to some new and very undiscovered territory.

Karkat thought he knew what he was getting into, when he agreed to help Kanaya and Jade resurrect the troll race. He didn't count on the resurrected troll race including a handful of bright red grubs.

“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.

"An immense saucer descending from the clouds and impacting the ground, as the press and through them the people of Earth looked on in shock and awe. That was the scene in California's Mohave desert two years ago today: the historic first view of the Alternian ship upon its dramatic arrival. Their ship was a refugee ship carrying a quarter million children and young adults ready to settle in almost any environment, but they washed ashore on Earth with no way to get back to where they came from. Civil liberties attorneys successfully lobbied for the Alternians' release from quarantine and in the last two years, the Alternians have become the latest addition to the population of Los Angeles." The representitives of a race of newcomers fight to give their people a home on Earth- but even without the deadly killer stalking the streets of LA, just surviving is hard enough for some. Can humans and aliens work together to build a better future? Or is it all doomed to end in bloodshed? One thing is for sure - for sixteen teenagers, this is going to be a dangerous week. AUTHOR'S NOTE: You don't have to know Alien Nation at all to read, understand or enjoy this fic!

The first time Stiles dresses Caleb up in a ridiculous outfit Derek thinks it’s a joke. He comes home from work one day and is greeted by the sight of their newborn pup in a zebra onesie complete with ears and a tail.

Young Phil Coulson pretends he can't hear his parents fighting. Instead, he occupies himself with the adventures of Captain America.

Patrick answers his phone by reflex, but he can't pry open his eyes, so he has no idea who he's talking to. Or not talking, exactly, because all he can manage is a sort of groan. OR: the one where Tazer and Kaner have a baby via Stanley Cup

--Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable. --

Sidney is starting to get a reputation amongst the Pens for being the go-to guy for free childcare. Or, five times Sidney babysat and one time someone babysat for him.

"We'll make this work somehow, sweetheart, won't we?" he said, swaying back and forth a bit as it warmed up. It probably made him look stupid, but he'd discovered there were a lot of stupid-looking things he'd do to keep his baby girl happy.

Five times the Avengers pawned kids off on the Jean Grey School.

Stop the Presses: "Kavanagh gets his revenge. Written for the Documentary Challenge in SGA Flashfic. Posted January 2006." Sandcastles: "Home is what you make it." Golden Rule Days (Our Modern Family Belongs To Us): "How Kat Barton comes to realizes that her very large “family” maybe isn’t normal—but that’s what makes it awesome. Movieverse. Inspired by workerbee73’s Career Day, but it got out of hand. >_>" Momentum: "It doesn't matter who you are; eventually, everyone's past catches up to them."

When Canadian figure skater Jeff Skinner wrecked his knee, he never could have imagined that he'd end up helping pay his way through college as a live-in babysitter for Eric Staal's three-year-old son, Joey.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

"Today is Scott's first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified."

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.