Leia glided closer, brushing Luke’s hair out of his face, then leaning in. “Both of us,” she whispered, and then kissed him firmly. Han could feel Luke let go of all the tension in his body all at once. If he had stopped holding him up, Luke would have simply dropped to the floor.

Morgana turned away from the high, barred window and rubbed her arms, chilled and bare. Arthur was sitting in the dirty straw at the very limit of his chains, which kept him a few inches too far away to touch Merlin's limp body. Outside they were putting up the stake.

Peter first meets Deadpool when he's nine years old, shaking in a basement somewhere and waiting to die.

Spider-Man comes out of the closet. Peter Parker would give anything to crawl back in.

Peter was having the worst day the author could've come up with - and that's even before he accidently killed Deadpool.

In a world where the first words your soulmate will say to you appear on your left wrist at your tenth birthday, Peter gets the short end of the stick.

Beyond that door is a boy Sid has skated with six times, and spoken to twice. He’s a year older than Sid is, and drugged out of his mind on Bonding agent.

In which Dirk has hell of computer issues/plays matchmaker, Calliope is revealed to be a big ol' pervert, and it's implied that the future of entertainment is a heavily edited version of an incredibly shitty fanfiction featuring hot unicorn on wizard action/violence. Also there's animes.

ne dislocated shoulder and two minor intergalactic incidents later, and all Tim wants is a shower, a mushroom and swiss cheeseburger, and a blowjob, preferably in that order.

“If you shower my couch with love and affection, I might actually kill you.” Or: how Tim Drake buys a house, rebuilds his life, and accidentally falls in love.

Turns out Jim Kirk's more than meets the eye, genetically speaking. There are a lot of consequences, mostly for Spock and his sanity.

Five Times Shiro couldn't be knocked off balance, one time he was, and one time he trusted the team to see. Or, when sibling bonding goes wrong. (Standalone story: You do NOT need to read the previous in the 'series' for this)

Five times that no one was thinking of Shiro as a dad.

'cause we make a great team Boredom's a real killer when you've topped your resume by taking down an international criminal organization. Wade's been in the market for a new pet project, and who should happen to come along but our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man? Peter's understandably a little shy of our charming Merc with the Mouth, but luckily for him, he happens to know a certain damsel not-so-much-in-distress that's willing to serve as an excellent character witness. From there it's just a short hop, skip, and one huge leap for spiderkind into a whole new world of trouble for our web-slinging hero. Good thing he's starting to learn to like trouble. Featuring: stalking (for justice and otherwise), showtunes, a series of increasingly improbable dinner dates, the Apartment of Doom, a judicious amount of mad science, homoerotic fight sequences, highly sexual tai-chi, musical montages, and a truly sickening amount of domestic bliss.

Peter and Wade try out one of Wade's kinks.

"Are you ready? On your mark Get set, let's go!" A Game of Thrones general vid interpreting the many 'pep rallies' our heroes are subjected to in Westeros and Essos. Have fun!

tide. noun. the alternate rising and falling of the sea, usually twice in each lunar day at a particular place, due to the attraction of the moon and sun. [Post-Wano] Sanji would kiss him if that were not a terrible, terrible idea.

So, I wrote some Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn porn based on this amazing post by [personal profile] sinsense about the universe she and others had created where promising rookies in the NHL were assigned an older player to ~kneel~ for as a training measure. GO READ THAT POST it is amazing if you're into that sort of thing.

Semi-related to my feelings about the combine: I snicker every time sports writers talk about a team "topping" or "edging" or "knotting" another team (because I am twelve), but it's those stories about how you can "ruin" a young player that make me think dirty things. Like, obviously letting your whole team gangbang your rookie will ruin him. So you have to pair each rookie up with an older, more experienced player as a mentor (Kaner with Sharpy, AGally with Prust, etc). Because, especially for the highly ranked rookies, it’s a lot of pressure, they can get wound too tight, so they need to be put on their knees regularly by someone they trust. The Bruins didn’t do that for Segs, they let anyone fuck him, and look what happened. The Stars put him with Jamie over the summer and it settles him right down.

Entirely smut and time travel porn.

Why can't any food grown in the Grand Line ever be normal? Written for Black Bar Book's birthday to indulge all of her kinks.

Hamon: From Japanese, lit. 'blade pattern'. The pattern on the steel that characterizes a katana blade, acquired during the folding, forging and tempering process.

Love is a weapon brought to bear. Love is blood spilled without remorse, and a kiss that’s so sweet they can ignore the taste of copper underneath.

Dorian Pavus needs out of Tevinter. The Iron Bull, a relatively well off rancher, is in want of a husband. It may as well be a perfect match. After answering The Iron Bull's ad in the newspaper, Dorian is whisked out of Tevinter and into the rugged beauty of Western Orlais to become a farm husband. Together, they learn how to love among the wildflowers.

(563): Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards.

Tim has a thing for buying sex toys (in bulk, Jason suspects) and Jason is constantly putting his foot in his mouth about what things his lover likes.

His Grace the Archduke Yuri Plisetsky wins the Ballistic Grand Tournament in his debut year, at the age of fifteen. Things go downhill from there.

Zoro and Sanji are fighting. And that’s not really a surprise, exactly, because Zoro and Sanji are always fighting. But it’s different, this time. This time, it’s not physical, and Sanji isn’t up in Zoro’s face yelling and screaming and calling him names. There’s no swiping of polished katanas against the lithe swing of powerful legs. It’s not physical combat. This time, Sanji’s fighting with silent avoidance and quiet resignation. This time, their entire nakamaship may be on the line. And this time, Zoro doesn’t know how to fight back. OR There’s something wrong with Sanji, but Zoro doesn’t know what it is or why it’s happened – why they’ve suddenly stopped brawling and hating each other left, right and centre. All he knows is that he has to fix it, or this Sanji – the Sanji that’s sunken and tired and so, so sad - may never go away.

Dagna explores Skyhold, and also Sera's pants.

You were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet" and I was crying on a staircase, begging you, "Please don't go."

Turns out Jim Kirk's more than meets the eye, genetically speaking. There are a lot of consequences, mostly for Spock and his sanity.

Eliot watches, fascinated, as Hardison brings the joint to his lips and inhales, making the lit end burn bright and cherry-red for several long seconds.

Yuri Plisetsky has been waiting three years to finally have sex with his boyfriend. Viktor, of course, ruins it all.

He had died- honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century- and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped. Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age. (In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

Sidney takes care of his wolves.

Nate just wants Sid to be hurt and vulnerable around him. No, hold on, that came out wrong.

Four dreams Geno accidentally shared.

On the one hand, it's pretty much the weirdest turn of events to ever hit the world in the history of ever. On the other hand, at least it happened during the off-season.

Five times the Penguins assumed Sid was dating Geno, and one time the Capitals knew otherwise.

Their first time is messy and awkward, fumbling attempts in the dark with laughter pressed against heated skin. Tsuna doesn’t know what to do with his hands, is so nervous he can’t seem to get hard at all, and Kyoko keeps giggling so hard she accidentally kicks him in the face. They don’t fare much better the second time, or the third. They always seem a step out of beat, never quite lining up, always missing each other. Tsuna always feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin, like there’s something in his gut that’s trying to claw out. He keeps expecting his flames to burst out at any second. After a while he realises he’s so used to fighting his body is wired to it as soon as the adrenaline rush hits. And Kyoko is an adrenaline rush.

Tsuna is not quite human, neither are his guardians. Magic and flames can have some odd interactions.

Xanxus is eight years old and desperate to find something more than a future in the slums. When he comes across a man with broken eyes and a mastery of orange flames, he thinks he’s found it.

Tsuna doesn't know how he dies for good, only that he still has regrets when he does. When he wakes up, he's in the body of Sawada Nana, mother of a 2 year old Tsuna, and those regrets become tenfold. He's drowning in the implications, when an Arcobaleno appears on his doorstep, and the future becomes infinite possibility.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

A collection of short stories depicting new versions of old myths. OR: What happens to Icarus after he fell, Hermes and Hestia meddle and save humanity, and Hades would just like a nap.

It’s Jiraiya who brings him the news, bare hours after the decision has been reached.

“He’s pretty, isn’t he?” Mito asks thoughtfully.

In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just... The middle child.

All men are not created equal. This is a simple truth Izuku has known ever since he was four, when he first realized what it meant to have a quirk like his; a quirk that forces him to consume human flesh to survive. When it seems like his poor mother can't live with the burden of raising something like him any longer he leaves, hoping to at least grant her the peaceful life she deserves. At the same time, Katsuki witnesses something that changes the way he sees himself forever. With the guilt of causing Izuku's 'death' constantly looming over him he continues to fight and claw his way to the top. It would be a lot easier if he didn't have this freak who reminds him so much of the kid he'd bullied into suicide constantly being shoved in his face. --- In which Izuku is a ghoul, Inko tries and fails to protect her son, Katsuki thinks he's a murderer, Shigaraki is creepy, and All Might tries his best. Tags will be updated as necessary.

A podfic of "Greatly Approved" by damalur. "An apostate's guide to popular fiction. (Or: Hawke runs headlong into Cassandra's book club, Varric comes along for the ride.)"