Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

"We did go looking for omegas," Izuna pointed out under his breath, staring down at his personal enemy. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you want Senju Tobirama for a wife," Madara replied just as quietly, a brief spark of amusement blooming at the shocked horror on his baby brother's face. -- Before he was forced to accompany a pack of rut-muddled idiots on a half-baked plan to kidnap omega brides for the good of the Uchiha clan, Madara hadn't given Hashirama's younger brother much thought. Tobirama was a Senju, and therefore the enemy; he, like Madara and Izuna, was sole survivor of his litter, and so to avoid being alone and therefore unmarriageable had ended up paired up with his older omega brother by default; he was a vicious opponent; he was a beta. He had to be a beta. Hashirama wasn't, and nobody would be brazen or stupid enough to bundle up two reproductive siblings in the same litter, right? ... Right?

"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian

It starts with a curse, Jin Guangyao’s last revenge, seeking to tarnish what he could never touch. Lan Xichen is prepared to die from it, if he must, taking the shame of it to his grave. He doesn’t expect his brother’s lover to figure out the situation, let alone that Wei Wuxian might be their best hope of dealing with the curse in a way that leaves all three of them with their self-respect intact. And he certainly doesn’t expect being slowly, carefully drawn into their relationship, and learning how to live again.

Wang Yibo fights crime and Xiao Zhan fights a headache.

Wei Wuxian doesn’t let the Wen Remnants hand themselves over after Jin Zixuan’s death. Instead he makes one last sacrifice to ensure they survive. Months later, a Lan cultivator kneels at the edge of the Burial Mounds, ready to offer himself to the feared Yiling Patriarch. Or: Sacrifice is an old magic, but love is even older.

Baxia takes the shape of a woman with the body of a tiger and three heads, each more horrifying than the next. Huaisang is standing between her and his brother. Wings of ink and ash unfurl behind him as the white-throated needletail dissolves into nothing from Huaisang’s right flank and [defend] activates. “What do you want?” he asks. Shouts, really, through the screaming of the desert wind and the never-ending hum of Baxia’s energy. You know what I want, she says with three voices all at once. You know what I want, delicious one, pretty one. Jewel-snake, ink demon, fiend. - in which a sacrifice is made.

One day Lan Xichen will ask Meng Yao why he chose to go to Qinghe after his mother died. Meng Yao will say that he chose the Nie Sect because of Nie Mingjue’s well-known distaste for Jin Guangshan, but the truth is at once simpler and more immediate: Meng Yao walks out of the sea, hangs the pouch with his mother’s ashes around his neck, and vows never to swim again until he gets her other-skin back from Jin Guangshan. Qinghe, tucked between mountain peaks and barren hills, is as far from this gentle sea shore as he can think of. That Nie Mingjue turned out to be a man Meng Yao didn’t expect and couldn’t anticipate was an accident. - In which Meng Yao makes promises he cannot keep, some things are irreversibly broken, and the villain earns his due punishment at last.

Attempt the impossible

War is an ugly business, even when you win. Jin Guangyao, Nie Huaisang, and all the destruction left in their wake.

Applause for the multitalented Wang Yibo.

[this is NOT official this is a fanmade even if i'm very flattered if you think it's real]

CQL cast fun behind the scenes compilation.

a family can be a fashionable pirate captain with weird pointy sideburns and a lesbian...and a lesbian...and a lesbian

a Black Sails Vid

Flour!

Modaozushi audio drama Wei Wuxian's confession at GuanYin temple animated This is the First part of the episode.

When his brother had sent him the appointment confirmation, Lan Wangji had assumed it had been for Lan Xichen’s oft-praised and highly recommended acupuncturist. It is not, he soon found out—standing inside the lobby of a studio lit by soft, warm light and faced with a beautiful man in well-worn, rumpled clothing and with a lopsided bun on top of his head, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and wearing no shoes at all—an acupuncturist. “Cuddle therapy,” Lan Wangji says, his voice drawn carefully flat over the overwhelming panic welling up inside his belly. He had not thought his brother so cruel. This must be some sort of horrible mistake. ----- In which Wei Wuxian cuddles people for money, Lan Xichen takes matters into his own hands, and Lan Wangji is doomed.

“Are you trying to propose to me, Zhan-ge?” Yibo asks, lifting his eyebrows. Xiao Zhan laughs, the sound slightly wheezing. “At dinner…” He runs his thumb over the ring, biting down on his lip. “It was cute. You were acting like Yixing’s trophy husband.” His voice probably isn’t as light as he means it to be. It’s too rough around the edges for a joke. Still, the description makes Yibo stick his lower lip out in a frown. “I wouldn’t have if you weren’t ignoring me,” he says. “I wasn’t ignoring you.” He cups his hand around Yibo’s chin, their lips hovering close together again. “I was watching.”

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

Wei Ying wants to rob him, but it wouldn’t even be satisfying, since this guy is just—giving away money. With his nice fingers. Maybe Wei Ying will just bite his fingers, and that will give the same endorphin rush as robbing him. / a day told across five parts.

A night-hunting trip, awkward boners, and three useless teenagers who might, eventually, figure out how to be in love with two people at the same time.

At Dafan Mountain, Wen Ning was not the first corpse that Wei Wuxian managed to summon. After thirteen years, fierce corpse Jiang Yanli finally reunites with her family.

Mirio's always been enchanted by the luminescent displays of firefly squid coming to the surface of the water to spawn this time of year—who wouldn’t be? But last week was when he’d realized they’re edible, and he’d begged Tamaki to try. Tamaki had refused. Hero training is bad enough, with such a monstrous, inhuman quirk, he’d said. Let’s not go out of our way to make it worse. Mirio had dropped the subject and assumed that was the end of that. But it’s definitely a tiny, pickled squid that Tamaki pulls from the box, his throat bobbing as he swallows it whole.

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator. "Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!" Lan Jingyi comes of age.

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem." "Can I be of any assistance with it?" He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

A found poem and its recording, created from fanfic authors' podfic permissions statements. A love letter to podfic, podfic fandom, podficcers and the people who love them. 3 minutes.

So.... what exactly did Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang get up to while Wei Ying was getting Lan Zhan drunk? In at least one reality, the answer is: Wow. Just. Really, quite a lot. or JC and NH have drunken virginal sex and discover that they are exactly each other's type. In that order. or NH discovers that JC has an unusual physiology and proceeds to lock that shit down.

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!" "Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from. "Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

Four times Lan Zhan walks in on his roommate masturbating.

Jiang Yanli and Jin Guangyao knew each other, during the year they both lived at Carp Tower.

Wen Ning is a very good liar and an even better actor, Yanli will hand him that.

The second Jongin realizes what he has done, he panics. Nothing about this is redeemable. He’s not even—he doesn’t think about men like that, and definitely not enough to have accidentally sent a picture of his ass to his straight sunbae. / Jongin is repressed, but his libido isn't.

Wei Wuxian is the local malevolent demigod who keeps getting sent virgin sacrifices when he'd much rather be left alone. But then one day, the villagers offer him a virgin he just can't resist...

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

Xiao Zhan looks up, ears twitching. Yibo's staring straight at him, mouth hanging slightly open, a towel clutched around his waist. Oh, shit, Xiao Zhan thinks, blinking slowly once, twice, and then hops right back out the window again.

Lurking behind covered windows after curfew, all three of them are well on their way to passably drunk when Nie Huaisang lays his current volume down on the table, scattering peanut shells, and sighs. “I wonder what it would be like,” he muses, and Jiang Cheng obligingly makes an inquisitive sound and looks over. The book is open to a woodcut image of a man with a woman bent over his lap, her mouth around him, both of them looking as if they’re enjoying themselves immensely.

Every student of House Mandrake is assigned a study partner, a counterpart from House Valerian. Lan Wangji suspects, with some outrage, that he's been given the troublemaker.

Lan Xichen removes his ribbon.

“Well I have to entertain myself somehow while His Excellency is off tending to official cultivator business all day,” Wei Wuxian says with a pout. “Besides, crafting talismans to show your husband just how good he makes you feel isn’t against the sect rules. I checked." The twinkle in his eye is shameless, and Lan Wangji loves him for it. - In which Wei Wuxian makes a sensory-sharing talisman and Lan Wangji makes some self-discoveries.

It's been a reasonably quiet night thus far, enough so that Peter's well ahead of the game on his usual patrol route, nothing really pinging his radar until he reached this quiet strip of apartment buildings. Only now that he's here, he can't figure out where the danger's coming from, or even what his senses are classifying as danger this time. There's got to be something, though...right?

Jiang Cheng has been told that anal sex is a great; however, he doesn't know quite how to go about doing that. Nie Huaisang, dutiful as always in his role as best friend, helps him figure it out. (And then helps him figure out something else, too.)

Deadpool is going into heat, and he's just lost all his suppressants. To top it off, Paste Pot Pete blew up his favorite pharmacy. Spider-Man shows up as he's chasing the villain, but they end up glued together. (Thanks to Deadpool wrecking Paste Pot's equipment.) Deadpool has the chemicals Spidey needs to make a solvent to separate them back at his apartment, but does he really want his hero to find out that he's not an alpha?

Wade frowns. He's had the word 'Endurance' on his wrist his whole life, in black block letters that have grown with him. He knows it means he's half of a pair, though it's too early yet to know whether he's going to be a Fighter or a Sacrifice. His dad's convinced he's going to be a Fighter--'the boy does have a type'--and he likes the sound of that. He's just not sure what his Name has to do with getting married.

OF COURSE (tumblr isn’t letting me tag you so i hope you see this) one of the reasons jin zixuan ends up snapping at jiang yanli when they are kids is she is just. really confused about her own feelings. especially when those feelings are “i want to date her? no i want to be her? no i want to date h-”

A series of comic pages set in a modern college AU, featuring disaster lesbians, dumb little brothers, and couch makeouts.

Lan Wangji discovers a kink. Wei Wuxian narrowly avoids discovering Lan Wangji's kink.

Mulan wants to save her father, and China, and possibly win honor for her family. She doesn't mind dying if that's what it takes. Surviving the avalanche brings some surprises.

Sometimes Shang likes to pretend that Mulan was really a man. Mulan has no objections to helping.

Wei Wuxian interrupts his musing. “Do you want to try that?” Jiang Cheng glances at him, being careful to keep the lower half of his body flat on the bed. Is Wei Wuxian stupid? “Who wouldn’t want to try that? But who would,” he falters, “do it for me?" Wei Wuxian is fiddling with the blanket but his gaze when he meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes is daring, not shy at all. “I’d do it. To you,” he adds, in case his meaning wasn’t clear. “C’mon, Jiang Cheng. You’d like it, huh? Let me. Let me suck your cock.” He’s pouting, an expression that Jiang Cheng knows to his bones means trouble. “It’ll be good, I promise.” How many times has Wei Wuxian coaxed him into something foolish with that same tone of voice and that same smile? And how many times has it ended with trouble for Jiang Cheng?