Seven Happily Ever Afters that weren't. Welcome to the Wonderful World of Disney.

"Kel finds some boys picking on a dog."

He had a sniper rifle scoping the girl’s bright eyes and the guy’s smile.

Morgana turned away from the high, barred window and rubbed her arms, chilled and bare. Arthur was sitting in the dirty straw at the very limit of his chains, which kept him a few inches too far away to touch Merlin's limp body. Outside they were putting up the stake.

Peter first meets Deadpool when he's nine years old, shaking in a basement somewhere and waiting to die.

"The first time Peter’s timer stops he is eleven years old. It times out in the middle of the night and wakes him up like an electric shock. The blank timer stares at him from his wrist as he yells and screams for his aunt and uncle." Spideypool AU with timers where Wade keeps getting killed and making Peter's timer go blank. By the time they meet he's pretty pissed off. This was certainly a summary with words, but they were not good ones. Based off a tumblr prompt that I cannot find anymore.

"Why don’t you ever let me see it? If you have the name already, why can’t you tell me whose it is? I thought we were best friends." Everyone gets their Name when they turn twenty-one. It isn’t their own name either. It’s the name of their Soulmate. When Wade Wilson wakes on his twenty-first birthday, he looks down at his chest and sees Peter Benjamin Parker. He stares for a moment then shrugs, gets dressed, and doesn’t think about it for another six weeks.

Tyler thought things would be different in Dallas. He just had no idea how different it could be.

Beyond that door is a boy Sid has skated with six times, and spoken to twice. He’s a year older than Sid is, and drugged out of his mind on Bonding agent.

“Geno? Are you okay? Physically,” Sid asks, which is good, because Zhenya doesn’t think he can put into words how he’s feeling emotionally. He imagines saying, The person I’ve loved for ten years finally took me to bed last night, but it turns out he didn’t want to, and now I can read his mind. No, thank you. “Feel fine,” Zhenya answers. “Even head feel fine.” And suddenly he realizes how fucking odd that is: he was concussed, and the room is brightly lit – he should be hiding under a blanket right now. He narrows his eyes and asks, “Sid, why head feel fine? What happen to concussion?” Sid takes a halting step closer to the bed and says, “Our bond, it’s—it’s a healing bond.” “Holy mother of God,” Zhenya breathes. So. They’re definitely not breaking the bond, then.

In which an unfortunate off-caste redblood discovers he has new horrifying mutations involving mating cycles and oviposition, and unintentionally draws his unwitting violetblooded (boy?)friend into his heat during what was supposed to be a relaxing movie night. Said seadweller then does his best to help him through it, keeping him safe from all other hormone-addled pursuers through the use of deadly force. Includes a budding matespritship, one healthy moiraillegiance, depictions of highblood rage and murderous intent, the deaths of no less than three unlucky intruders, too many references to troll Princess Bride, much emotional turmoil, some treasonous plotting, an overabundance of pity, egg-laying, and unconventional lusii. You arrived at just the right moment A moment later I would have been out at sea With no way to be reached I'll leave it up to you To carry me through That's about all I can do --lyrics from Carry Me Through, by Greg Laswell

In the game of gay xenochicken there are no losers, which explains why you are currently trying to stick your hands down Sollux's pants.

"So, honeybee. I think I found a third for that idea you had. Well, third and fourth.” “Which idea? FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE—“ Some turd tried to sneak up and shank him from behind. Mituna nuked him into orbit, then turned his attention to Latula. “The helmsman idea.” He froze. That idea. Oh fuck. Ohhhh, FUCK. He thought she’d maybe forgotten that one.

If the request meme thing is still on may I request some harleybert sandwiches with Vantas-filling?

The separate steps along divergent paths don’t change the fact that the destination remains the same.

Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, oh my. (Or, Tobirama has a date. He will probably live to regret it.) Prequel to It’s Witchcraft.

For this ask on my Tumblr: IM IMAGINING THE WRITING THING AS MADATOBI NOW?? IMAGINE!! secret letters between enemy clans. tiny stick figure drawings of hashirama doing something stupid. instructions for a new jutsu. the possibilities are ENDLESS (Aka that soulmate AU where if you write something on your skin it also shows on the other’s.)

Crown Prince Obito elopes with the blacksmith’s son. Madara hardly expects his day to get worse from there, but he forgot to factor in his ridiculous brother, his nephew’s cunning, and the return of a distractingly attractive sea god he’d really rather remain in his past. There's only one direction for things to go from there, and it’s definitely not up.

"I ain't opposed to getting my wetware wet," she says. You think you could almost make out the words just from the movements of her lips against your ear, and that gets all down your spine even as part of you writhes in annoyance at a seadweller without any modifications beyond the cosmetic using the word wetware. Fuck it, it's still hot.

A yellowblooded troll kid walks into a cult-run computer servicing joint, and immediately regrets it. Inspired by Cultstuck!

Eridan's right. This guy is so bangable, and you're going to be the one to do it. ...just as soon as you can manage to make that whole 'words' thing work again.

Sollux is invited to 'tentacle night' by his kismesis Roxy. He's a little confused when she shows up with more tentacles than him.

This is a mixfill of two prompts! Prompt 1: Jane/Equius - She's a classy blue heiress, he's probably resilient enough to survive surprise dominatrix mode, it could work. Prompt 2: Sharp dressed man, Equius Zahhak Gold watch, diamond ring I ain't missin' not a single thing And cufflinks, stick pin When I step out I'm gonna do you in They come runnin' just as fast as they can 'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man Equius Zahhak in some very nice clothes, getting undressed later by an interested party and preferably ridden hard to be put away wet. Possibly even at the party in some secluded alcove. C'mon, you know that the boy would be fiiiiiine in a tailored suit. And then it exploded on me and turned into an actual fic, god damn it. Stay tuned.

Allison isn’t sure what, exactly, she was expecting from college, but it wasn’t an instant live-in best friend and an immediate invitation to a party.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: Have you read the version of the Persephone myth where Persephone wasn't abducted but wandered into the underworld under her free will and then refused to leave (to Hades's utter bemusement)? I read it recently and the only things in my head since is fed-up Persephone!Oro meeting bemused Hades!Sakumo after fighting from Zeus!Jiraya :P

Sometimes the other Vulcans wonder how Spock managed to obtain such an exotic bondmate, and sometimes Spock wonders himself.

Keith stood under the hot spray of the shower head, his eyes closed as he focused inward, trying desperately to regain some sense of composure. He wasn’t quite certain what was wrong with him today; he was the one moving out of sync in their training exercises, he’d run himself into an invisible maze-wall so hard he was dizzy for a quarter hour after it, and he swore he could still feel the static jolt under his skin. When Shiro had touched his shoulder, eyes concerned, his touch was like a fresh electric current and Keith had yanked himself away.

Dirk has come to terms with sharing his famous brother with the world, but there are some things he wants to keep for himself. (Heads up for nsfw art right in your face)

In another time and place, Wade would have gone back to Weasel’s bar and met the love of his life, Vanessa. However, in this life, predicated by a squeaky skateboard wheel, he met Peter instead. Between robot invasions, mad scientists, and civil disagreements, they have their work cut out for them. Many Princess Peach references are made.

In a world where Omegas far outnumber Alphas, a dowry system is in place. The Omega’s family offers a dowry in order to secure a respectable Alpha match, with the highest dowries netting the “best” Alphas. Aunt May struggles to secure an Alpha for her Omega nephew’s first heat. All her meager savings can afford is a butt-ugly (by his own admission) Alpha without much experience to speak of. Peter would rather go unmated than lose his virginity to a guy that can’t go five seconds without making a Monty Python reference. However, it seems Peter has no choice…

The 'what if everyone played hockey instead' AU

Artwork on Naruto fanfic Reverse by Blackkat, based on interesting character interactions and descriptions.

You lose your pale virginity to John Egbert at a Gamzee Makara party.

“Do you…” the man trails off, frowning. “Do you dislike Prince Otabek?” he asks quietly. Yuri arches his eyebrows. “I’ve never met Prince Otabek,” he says truthfully. “But if he has to go to all this trouble to find someone to marry him, then logically, there must be something wrong with him.”

Zoro is a cambion, which means he feeds on sexual energy. A small crew like the Strawhats, its not normally enough to keep a cambion satisfied, but Sanji happens to be an abnormally sexually driven cook so it usually works out okay for Zoro. At least, it works out alright until Sanji finds out that Zoro's been taking energy from him through his dreams. For Sanji, he's trying to wade through the confusing mess of emotions for a certain marimo after a surprise kiss on the battle feild. It's not easy to do on a normal basis. It certainly isn't any easier when the man he has deeper feelings for is a cambion. Then everyone learns how important it is to keep their local cambion fed, for if they don't, someone might get eaten. literally.

In a world where soulmates find each other by touch, Kakashi doesn't like to be touched and Minato behaves accordingly.

Love is a weapon brought to bear. Love is blood spilled without remorse, and a kiss that’s so sweet they can ignore the taste of copper underneath.

Bull is on the worst blind date with Trevor Trevelyan, and Dorian swoops in, pretending to be his ex that wants to get back together.

Dorian Pavus needs out of Tevinter. The Iron Bull, a relatively well off rancher, is in want of a husband. It may as well be a perfect match. After answering The Iron Bull's ad in the newspaper, Dorian is whisked out of Tevinter and into the rugged beauty of Western Orlais to become a farm husband. Together, they learn how to love among the wildflowers.

(563): Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards.

In which Sanji and Ace are models for a BDSM site and Law’s the new guy doing his first shoot (Dom!Ace, sub!Sanji-and-Law, Ace/Law/Sanji in all combinations)

: “You’re certain you want your first sexual experience to be like this?” “I just want my first sexual experience.” (Or, Sanji goes to a bathhouse looking for a casual hook-up and ends up getting so much more. Sanji/Law, modern!AU).

His Grace the Archduke Yuri Plisetsky wins the Ballistic Grand Tournament in his debut year, at the age of fifteen. Things go downhill from there.

"No, see, we've all been trained a certain way. The training system is traditional; it's centuries old. Nobody taught you. You ballist like it's got nothing to do with war at all." A sleepy, extraordinary smile crawls over Victor's face. "Nobody else does it like that. That's why we're going to win." [fic & art collab with inknose]

"No, see, we've all been trained a certain way. The training system is traditional; it's centuries old. Nobody taught you. You ballist like it's got nothing to do with war at all." A sleepy, extraordinary smile crawls over Victor's face. "Nobody else does it like that. That's why we're going to win."

When Bittle first showed up at a meeting with management, sitting next to Sara with wide, scared eyes, Jack didn't think he had a chance in hell. Sara hired new assistants all the time, most of whom barely made it through a season.

You were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet" and I was crying on a staircase, begging you, "Please don't go."

What if Jupiter and Caine met as children instead?

Colonel Mustang's company receives a distress call -- coming from Alphonse Elric's AI.

In which Jane has a crush and a dream, Mulan is determined but asleep on her feet, and Shang is possibly stalking Aladdin.