So ‘Zhenya’ is a private name. It’s something Sid says to wake Geno up late at night when he’s half-asleep on the couch and needs to be cajoled to bed. It’s something Sid calls him first thing in the morning when Geno's made him breakfast instead of letting Sid eat his sad granola another day. It’s the name Sid whispers when he hugs Geno after a win and tells him he’s proud.

“Hey, Scott, so, I uh, there’s this amazingly hot guy and I’m uh, gonna spend the weekend with him but, you know, just to be careful, I’m sending you his picture, so if by some terrible chance my bloated corpse shows up sometime Monday, just, y’know pass this along to the authorities.” He pauses. “Uh. Kidding?” and then hangs up with a rush of air. “That is the worst voicemail in the history of voicemails,” Derek says.

When the Beacon Hills lacrosse team made a bet with the Beacon Hills cheerleading squad, Stiles should have recognized the smirks on the girls' faces and stopped the whole thing right there.

“We should have sober sex,” Patrick says, rolling his neck until it pops loudly. He really should be thinking about getting up off of the floor. “Why would we do that?” Jonny asks, twisting to look down at Patrick like he just suggested that they throw puppies into traffic.

on occasion of the strider-pyrope wedding

Dave and Karkat have a little fight over who pushed the buttons that swapped their species, and it turns into extensive scientific experimentation of a different kind altogether.

It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

Laura and Derek are together a lot; Stiles doesn’t think anyone at Beacon Hills High School hasn’t had a naughty thought about their relationship at least once.

The link between wolves and red is the link between madness and human mates.

Stiles comes home after three years of learning to understand magic.

She could still see the bright lights, and hear the loud sound of the siren, and feel Genim kicking her with every turn. | The story of Stiles' mother.

“So you were already with the boy you saved when the fire started?” Patrick pauses, but shakes his head. “No, there was an explosion—I don’t really know what it was, but then it was just me and Tigre, and it’s like, in a situation like that, you don’t really think? You just do. So I grabbed the kid and went through the fire escape. It’s not like I decided I wanted to save anybody, it was just the only option.”

It's just a little frustrating, that Patricia can be so good at their sport, and then still look the way she does.

Patrick had a letter written on his wrist when he was born, small and even in black pen-print. Well, technically it started to show up a day after he was born, like a bruise that takes time to settle in. Patrick doesn’t remember, obviously, but his parents will tell him whenever he asks, how small it was and how it just... faded in, a little ‘J’.

AU. Jonny's a hockey player, Patrick's a figure skater, they meet in a book shop.

"Cover me," she said, tilting the turkey so the butt end was more accessible. "I'm going back in." "Yeah, I'm not sure I should be here for this conversation," Scott said. Melissa just wanted their first Thanksgiving together to go perfectly. As if.

"I love Jackson," she says as soon as she's close enough that she doesn't have to raise her voice. "Okay?" Stiles glances left to right, like her meaning is crouched in the darkness somewhere. "I love Taco Tuesdays. Back to you." They go back to school in the fall, and everyone acts like it's all okay. Like none of it ever happened. That's all right, because Lydia could have an Oscar someday. If she wanted one.

Somehow, Scott managed to wind up on the wrong end of a genderswapping spell. Turns out, it's not a completely bad thing.

In which Boyd has a proposition for Stiles, and then it all just spirals from there. —or— The one where everybody in Stiles' circle wakes up and realizes he's hot as fuck.

Karkat, rebel leader, makes an unsettling discovery during a supply-ship raid: a purple seatroll, disgraced, miserable, and massively gravid. It's hard to not stare at the huge mound of his belly. "It's gonna take us a couple nights to get back to the base. You're gonna have to stay in here. Please for all fuck's sake do not lay eggs on my bunk or I will have to flip my shit so hard the fucking ship's gyros will explode."

It's a cross between an office romance and a hostile alien takeover, and it ends just the way you would expect.

Sollux has two wriggling gifts for Karkat. The first is a traditional Wriggling Day present, complete with wrapping and bow. The second one wriggles in an entirely different manner.

Terezi is the best at sexting.

Geno had arrived in Pittsburgh looking every minute of the nineteen hour flight from Helsinki, plus however long he’d been in transit between there and his run from the KHL. Sid had been standing next to Mario, watching the new arrival expectantly, even though he didn’t think Geno was a threat. The other wolf had spent too much time negotiating on his own behalf to be allowed into another pack’s territory, and even more to be allowed to play with the team. But all the same, new wolves made Sidney antsy. Written for the multi-fandom Werewolf Big Bang.

Kakashi distracts Iruka from work for a while. Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Kakashi/Iruka, authority. Porn with Characterization. Vaguely associated with the Avalanche 'verse, but not actually part of the arc.

Stiles is in an imminent sexual situation and, being the awkward virgin that he is, has no idea how to go about getting condoms or what size to get. Rather than asking Scott, he calls Danny. Because you don't talk to your best friend about what your penis is up to or who it's going to be in. And Danny's smart, right? Good plan?

You push yourself up to a sitting position. "Bro," you say. "Long time no see." You manage to keep your voice almost totally steady, even. He's sitting cross-legged in the sand, his elbows on his knees, his katana planted point-down next to him. His horns echo the shape of his shades, jagged outward-facing points. You wonder what yours look like, but you think you'd lose points for reaching up to cop a feel of your own headgear. "Come on. We don't exactly have the high ground out here."

Spock met Jim when he was 7 and Jim was 6. It has since been generally agreed that this was a mistake (or: the one where they grow up together and things are simultaneously better and worse for it).

A kidnapping gone bad.

This arc is centered on Yui. I thought she got very short shrift, canonically, and was handled illogically to boot. So these stories address the question: Why did it all happen that way, and what would happen after?

Jim wants to ride that (and by "that" he means "Spock's dick") into the sunset

I feel pretty strongly that the second half of Naruto diverted all the momentum of the first half, where what I wanted to see was what would happen if it speeded up instead. This arc is an AU of canon, in which Kakashi dealt with Sasuke differently after the first fight with Itachi and Sasuke never left Konoha. Changes spiral off from that point. This is also the arc where I change all the things that truly made me tear my hair in canon, such as the carbon copy generations, the sidelining of the women, the apotheosis of Naruto as a solitary hero, and Itachi turning out to not be a villain. So none of that happens. There is, however, Sakura/Sasuke/Naruto goodness. Also featuring a dash of Kakashi/Iruka and a side arc about Hinata and the Hyuuga clan that somehow shoehorned its way in while I was innocently contemplating ninja sociology.

There bruises on Derek's chest from where Stiles pushed Derek. Two purple-red impressions of the heel of Stiles' palms. Derek pokes them curiously. Derek's never had bruises before Stiles.

It’s not-- it’s not because they’re perverted or something. It’s not. It’s a comfort thing to sit still and extend his senses, focusing on the alpha and his mate.

Derek as Khal Drogo (but set in snow beyond the wall) and Stiles as Daenerys Stormborn (although he's a greenseer of the Children rather than a dragon)

This is not the behavior Stiles was expecting from a werewolf he’s been dream invading. To be honest, Stiles expected more blood, bruises and begging. He was not expecting creepy Derek to go to sleep next to him.

Heart-flowers are a reflection of your heart, mind and soul, if you're a romantic. Scientists call them a reflection of mental and emotional health instead. As long as you're happy or content, the flower is healthy too. But if you're distraught the petals will close or brown. It depends person to person, emotion to emotion. When Derek tells Stiles to take care of it, he means, take care of me.

You start hanging around troll 4chan for the Mediaconflagration links. You, uh, stay for the porn.

Right, so, for whatever reason I’m too wound up to do any real writing tonight, so this is going to be tumblr-style not!fic of the Bruce Banner/James Rhodes story Iron Man 3 made me want, played fast and loose in this window. I may even write this fic someday! But if not, we’ll always have this tumblr post.

"I kind of... accidentally fantasized about Karkat while we were doing it. Which I do sometimes, not when we're messing around, just like-- uh, fuck, look, I'm--" Terezi puts a finger over your lips and you stammer to a stop. She nestles closer and sighs happily. "You too, huh?" You stare at the ceiling in bewilderment. Whatever response you were expecting, that was not it.

ust a brief missing scene between Pepper and Tony prior to the end of Iron Man 3.

IM3 SPOILERS! My Bot Oriented post-IM3 fic

Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird.

It's a whirlwind pale romance, unbelievable even by Troll Hollywood standards.

Jeff made a good decision choosing hockey over figure skating. That doesn't mean he's let go of it completely.

When NHL star Patrick Kane's off-ice antics finally get him into trouble for the last time, captain and best friend Jonathan Toews has one final trump card to keep him from being traded: marriage...to each other. But between being the first openly gay hockey players, facing down a lockout, and the fact that Patrick has been in love with Jonny for years, will these two ever be able to work past their miscommunication to realize that their marriage may not be as much of a sham as they think it is? Written for the Harlequin Big Bang 2013.

Patrick writes his name on Jonny's to-send Christmas cards. It leads to feelings.

jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it.

Human-mates are red.

AKA the one with the phone sex. In which Kaner finds out Jonny wants to fuck him and is pretty okay with that turn of events. Phone sex, picnic baskets, crazy eyes, hockey and insanity ensue.