#no seriously #where’s the au #where some witches or warlocks or something turn stiles into a cat #and he lurks in wait in the abandoned train station #waiting for derek to walk by so stiles can blitz-attack his ankles

One criminal consultant. One consulting detective. One serial killer. And one perhaps inadvisable bet...

"The SHIELD interceptor spaceship Avenger is under final attack. Aboard her, sitting in his cell, the war criminal Tony Stark gets ready for the confrontation, and the revelation, that he knows is about to come. Roughly 6000 words of a random Space Opera AU."

Stark is arrogant, offensive, insensitive and everything Steve Rogers hates about the twenty first century, but not everything is as it seems. Companion piece to Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark…Not Recommended and runs simultaneously with those events.

"Because I promise you, if this happens again, which I know it won't, this place will burn."

A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

It certainly wasn't the first time he'd been woken up at ridiculous o'clock; it wasn't even the first time he'd been woken up at ridiculous o'clock in London, in the comfort of his own flat. But as John Watson's fingers closed reflexively over the handle of the bedside drawer, yanked, and then plunged inside to close around the familiar weight of his side arm, he realised that it was the first time he'd been woken up by Sherlock Holmes silhouetted on the threshold of his room, with a feather in his hair, snapping his fingers peremptorily and announcing: “Gun. Now.”

Avatar Toph does not like the North Pole. AU.

Gibbs sometimes wonders what he did to deserve these morons, but then he looks through the one-way window at three naked and extremely uncomfortable-looking Marines and figures it could be worse.

Cloud has an accident with a Time materia. If he wants to save the world, there's a person who has to die.

Elle Woods, "I always did like a challenge"

"He's a collector," Neal said. // "Just don't get into trouble while we're gone," Nate said.

Iron Man is the Red Ranger, naturally, Captain America is Blue, Hulk is Green… and then it gets tricky. Let’s say Thor is Yellow, because of his blonde hair; Black Widow has to be black because of her outfit and her name, which means Hawkeye by default is the Pink Ranger.

She thought they were all working to escape this hellish game. He makes her wonder if she's been thinking wrong.

"Fine. Assuming that no court on earth discovers that you are an interdimensional spy in deep disguise," Rose corrects herself, flopping down on the bed to lie next to you, "we are now legally married. In the State of Nevada. You are now my beautiful wife." You think about this for some time. After a while, you say, "We have to tell everybody."

You never told a single motherfucker walking this planet what went down here. Wasn't the business of nobody but you, him and God. She wasn't your mother or your girlfriend or even your motherfucking friend. Maybe if you told her, though, maybe she'd leave. You know you'd walk away from it if you could.

Riku didn't actually create this monster; Zack was just born like that.

It is important to keep in mind that when a human says, "I hate you," it is most certainly not a come-on. The only thing more horrific than human apathy is human hatred. They do, after all, have two words for friendship. Or so we thought.

Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird.

IM3 SPOILERS! My Bot Oriented post-IM3 fic

I feel pretty strongly that the second half of Naruto diverted all the momentum of the first half, where what I wanted to see was what would happen if it speeded up instead. This arc is an AU of canon, in which Kakashi dealt with Sasuke differently after the first fight with Itachi and Sasuke never left Konoha. Changes spiral off from that point. This is also the arc where I change all the things that truly made me tear my hair in canon, such as the carbon copy generations, the sidelining of the women, the apotheosis of Naruto as a solitary hero, and Itachi turning out to not be a villain. So none of that happens. There is, however, Sakura/Sasuke/Naruto goodness. Also featuring a dash of Kakashi/Iruka and a side arc about Hinata and the Hyuuga clan that somehow shoehorned its way in while I was innocently contemplating ninja sociology.

Stiles is in an imminent sexual situation and, being the awkward virgin that he is, has no idea how to go about getting condoms or what size to get. Rather than asking Scott, he calls Danny. Because you don't talk to your best friend about what your penis is up to or who it's going to be in. And Danny's smart, right? Good plan?

about a reverse little mermaid

Jonathan Toews is a certified, bonafide, pedigreed geek. Luckily he's their geek, so it works out okay.

The Darkness does not mix well with paradox space, nor does Craft mesh smoothly with the game mechanics of Sburb. Jade Harley makes plans to keep her friends safe despite the coming alteration of the natural laws they've relied on all their lives.

Stiles turns to look at her, schools his face into an expression of exasperation, but then there’s a rush—a current, a wave, a familiar tendril of smart, precise, hot pink and sharp heels and wicked smartness—and—

"I can't even TELL you how incredibly insanely JEALOUS I am of my own daughter."

When the Becket brothers were chosen out of nearly 200 other candidates, Yancy wasn't surprised in the least. You didn't need a genius level IQ or a football scholarship to pilot a jaeger. All you needed was a good partner. And Raleigh was the best.

Mako Mori and Sasha Kaidanovsky bond over being some of the only women in the Hong Kong Shatterdome. A short piece exploring that friendship.

The Coalition states for the record that it considers Her Imperial Condescension, Empress of Alternia and its conquered territories a Criminal, a Liability to her own people, an immature brat unfit for power, a Crazy Old Bat and an Abuser, and we do hereby charge her with Corruption, Corruption of Minors, Exploitation, Exploitation of Minors, Slavery, Slavery of Minors, Indoctrination, Indoctrination of Minors, Violation of the Prime Directive and Violation of seventy percent of the Chart of Universal Rights for the Sapient Species, and we declare to unanimously hold her in Contempt.

After a hard shift saving the world, Stark - in his infinite wisdom - has decided to bond with Steve by talking about his favorite subject. Well, third favorite, after building things and smart-mouthing people. Steve is pretty sure none of his experiences really count. Tony is starting to wonder what Steve's definition of "is" is.

Steve spends a year on tour with a couple of dozen showgirls, and learns a thing or two.

A Lifetime and a Half: Written for the queer_fest prompt "Either Fred and George, Padma and Parvati or Lorcan and Lysander, How do you tell the person who's most like you in all the world that you want to be a member of the opposite sex?" Before You Cross the Street (Take My Hand): Episode tag for 2x06. Papa Stilinski isn't really that dick.

"It's tough rattling around the house all by myself," the Sheriff says. "You boys are coming to dinner on Sunday nights from now on. Erica, too. You look like you could some feeding up. Do you eat anything aside from pie?" "Yes?" Derek says. He's not really sure how they ended up here, or how all that pie went so fast.

A podfic of "Feed the Body, Nourish the Soul" by copperbadge. "Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird."

I’m talking about daemons as in the His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman, or the Golden Compass movie if you’ve seen that. What daemons do everyone have? What happens to daemons during a drift? How do pilots’ daemons act around each other? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

Drunken app coding. Marshmallow machine guns. Great Lakes shipping mishaps. Many many people yelling Tony's name. It's pretty much a regular day at the ThinkGeek offices. (Written for Pod Together 2012 by flyingthesky, and performed by canadasuperhero.)

Raleigh comes home with Mako for O-bon.

So, I was wondering what style I wanted to write this Robin Hood!Karkat thing in, and then it struck me that since I would have to plan the fics out anyway I might as well take a stab at doing so ballad-style.

Asuka I wrote you a thing. It’s a slight AU playing with the idea of the kids having minor holdovers of their game powers. Not enough to affect day-to-day life, but just enough. All ficlets take place before they’re pilots. For some of the iffier powers I made guesses about how they would translate, most notably Dirk’s. He is the ghost in the machine. 8|

CG: … CG: WELL? TT: This is certainly something. CG: OH GOD. DON’T SUGARCOAT IT, ROSE, IT WON’T MAKE IT TASTE ANY BETTER GOING DOWN. TT: As my dear ectoslime brother would say: calm your tits, Karkat. TT: It’s very interesting in a way I’m having trouble putting into words.

Gee and Neal's first meeting.

In one's home, clothes are optional. Housemates, however, may disagree.

Gwyneira, Cymran princess, and her seven friends must flee lest she be murdered by her mother queen. How can they keep her safe? How can she get her throne?

what it says on the tin

"Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird."

Welcome to the Lee Jordan show on the Wizarding Wireless Network, the best show for news, interviews, sports coverage, and entertainment on air! Tune in now!

Fred and George weren't the only pair of inventors in their family. They weren't even the first to experiment in wartime.

"Five times the Avengers pawned kids off on the Jean Grey School."

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell. Feedback: wuved and hugged and called George