“Holy fucking shit,” Levi states, examining the dick in front of him. “I take back my promise to deep-throat you. Take it way back.” “Um,” Erwin says, "That's fine."

It’s not that Nitori’s into rough play – (Except that he really, really is) – but he’s found a fascination with Rin’s smile.

Rei had actually planned on studying tonight, when he invited Nagisa over.

After regionals, he hits a low. This isn’t particularly surprising – Rei has been doing so good for so long, engaged and alive and happy, he thinks, a little bit happy, so of course a low would have to come and even things out – but how unsurprising it is doesn’t comfort Rei when he wakes up feeling the first embers of something slow and sad and dark burning low in his stomach.

"You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be difficult for three teammates and friends to figure out how they fit, both figuratively, and... not. And yet.

kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

Sasuke discovers something about the Uchiha clan.

Night Vale’s all racewank, and Sleepy Hollow is too, White Collar’s just started, and don’t mention Doctor Who.

"Let's go steal a Jaeger," Parker said, smiling a wolf's smile.

Marco wakes up dead, and it isn’t really what he expected at all. He’s not sure how he knows he’s dead, but he opens his eyes and sees the building across from him and the gore strewn merrily across the cobblestones and he knows he’s dead the same way he knows that the sun rises in the east and that Jean will never, never get over this. "Fuck," he says.

Monogamy is for a world where your life expectancy is more than double your current age, and sometimes things get complicated.

They’re all soaked through with sweat and stink worse than corpses when Reiner notices the outline of something under Connie’s shirt, notices sort of that there’s a slight curve to his chest that wasn’t there before. And Reiner isn’t particularly observant, so if he noticed he’s pretty fucking sure other people have too, and sure enough, when he swivels his head, he sees Thomas nudging Nic and gesturing to Connie with a tilt of his head. They both snicker to each other, and Reiner feels his gut sour.

“This is a vagina,” Sasha says, sounding vaguely confused and Connie grits his teeth, shifts his hips away slightly because he’s fucked it up, hasn’t he, he got too into it and now he’s fucked it up – “Yeah,” Connie mutters.

A collection of my shorter fills for snk-kink on dreamwidth. Mostly gen humor. Mostly.

“Oh. Well, okay.” A voice rings out behind Erwin, and he freezes, despair coiling in his gut because this is the end, he’s been seen and he’ll be captured and experimented on and it’s five in the goddamn morning, who else is in the showers? He chose this time specifically because no one else is ever in the showers at five in the fucking morning. (Or: Erwin has wings and Hanji walks in on him naked.)

Armin can be kind. People always tend to make the mistake of assuming that makes him nice, and he can’t help but feel that mistake clanging dissonantly in his chest as he sprints down the last living member of his squad, blade already in hand, Eren’s sloppy chewing noises behind him.

In the end, it's only Lydia and Stiles left. Alone and desperate, oh so desperate. Desperate times and desperate measures and all that, but emphasis on the times. With nothing else left to lose, they find a way to change it all. And Stiles may just figure out the key to stopping everything that ever went wrong - well, from Peter onwards. Because he's older and wiser (sort-of) and beginning to understand in a way that he never did before. After all, the strength of the wolf is the pack, right?

Stiles didn't choose to give his life to the unicorns, not really; they were the ones who chose him. He didn't understand, then, what it was they were taking from him.

fuck okay so I'm not sure if you're taking prompts but have you seen that video of hoechlin twerking(?) and then doing A BACKFLIP. ?!!? hmm so in summary like cheerleader au where derek is on the fucking cheersquad and yes. butttts.

The whole thing starts with Stiles' naked body, which is, apparently, "perfect."

"Well, you're a werewolf," Stiles says. Kevin has always had a pretty good poker face, but Stiles takes him completely by surprise, enough that there's a tell-tale pause that lasts a beat too long for the, "No I'm not," to be believed.

Kakashi is like a stray cat, and Iruka knows damn well that he shouldn't feed Kakashi if he doesn't want Kakashi to keep coming around.

It’s not like he lives his entire life with his bottom half a writhing mass of tentacles instead of legs, but about every ten days he has to spend at least eight hours soaking in a tub of water.

Erwin believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that Levi had climbed that wall.

Erwin believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that Levi had climbed that wall.

When Kakashi first began to see people's souls manifested as animals, he naturally assumed he had lost his mind. (Using HDM themes, but not a true crossover.)

What difference can one man make? After Madara and Sasuke's final attack on the village, Rokudaime Kakashi finds a time-travel scroll. Now he's Team Seven's sensei again. And this time, he's going to do things differently. Time travel fic.

Flashes of an unknown past haunt Naruto, entwining his steps with those of a former life no longer content to stay forgotten. There's a voice on the wind and another lifetime in his head, and it’s time for Uzushio’s Storm God to rise once more. (The soul of a city is a hard thing to kill. Uzushio is still aware, still waiting. And now, with the rebirth of her greatest Kage, it’s time to call her people home.)

They're monsters, but what better to hunt a monster than another? A tale of two ANBU: otherwise known as the life and times of Hound, the Hokage's ever-loyal dog, aka Hatake Kakashi, and Owl, the hunter that flies on silent, deadly wings, aka Umino Iruka

Mulan is a Resident Assistant on a dormitory floor at a college. Gosh, some of the students on her floor come from really screwed-up families.

Ten facts about three Hogwarts students.

"I asked you if you needed to hit me again. Because. In court, you said Sir, you said that you were going to." Levi blinked at him. He'd only told Eren he'd missed a spot.

Two hundred years ago the Winchesters stopped the apocalypse. Now, instead of getting into fights and running amok, eighteen year old Jim Kirk goes to live with his Auntie Sam and learns the family business. Four years later, an angel shows up.

Sam smiles, bright and luminous. "An angel's Grace isn't just power, Dean. It's a part of their soul." An AU 'verse that takes place after episode 5.22.

And how things could have gone differently.

"Sorry, you have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you." Dean and Castiel finally have that conversation.

Lucifer's cage is kind of cramped quarters.

Looking at the contemplative expression on Lucifer's face, Sam thinks that this has the potential to be either very bad, or completely awesome. Two humans and two archangels in the Cage.

“Your first mistake,” John says smoothly, “was calling yourself Moriarty. It got my attention.” In which Jim is not, in fact, Moriarty.

Sometimes Darcy thinks life would be much easier if her grandfather weren't a homicidal terrorist with metal-bending powers.

There are things he doesn't remember. Some of which he knows.

There are many things on Jack's mind. Namely: hockey, hockey, Bitty, hockey, anxiety, hockey, hockey, anxiety, Bitty, hockey, hockey, anxiety, and hockey.

"Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together." "This isn't a romcom, Holtzy, " Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind." "Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."

Honor among thieves, or something close enough.

Considering that he had picked up what was probably a Sith artifact, promptly passed out in the middle of a war zone, and apparently woken up twenty years in the future with Obi-Wan having taken up residence in his head, Anakin thought he was entitled to have a few questions.

He fights alone for what the rest of humanity has forgotten, and doesn't even know to ask.

When Mikasa was still young enough to be carried everywhere she went, her mother would clasp her tight and spin them in slow, gentle circles, while her father hummed a gentle tune that she would later forget. When she was six, she watched her father take her mother in his arms and swing them around the garden, their legs somehow tangling without tripping, heads thrown back in laughter, and she clapped along with the rhythm of their footsteps. And when she was nine, a boy with a knife showed her a different kind of dance altogether.

Being a casual drug user's best friend is the opposite of going to meetings.

"We should talk about Eliot," Alec says, at the same time Parker says, "We should have sex in a hammock."

It turns out that when you're almost constantly on the move, monitoring your birth control can prove to be challenging. It could happen to anyone, right? (Begins after the end of Fast Five, no spoilers for Fast and Furious Six.)