It's all Sam's fault, really. It had just been research. Then it got way out of hand. Or, in which, fanfiction takes over their lives for better and for worse.

"Actually, you know, I get it. Rogers would be an excellent MARRY choice. You know that he'd never leave the toilet seat up, would never drink the last of the milk, and would clean the rain gutters without prompting," Darcy says. She's never really considered Steve as anything other than Captain America who is impossibly unapproachable; weirdly enough, the things she finds intimidating about him as a person oddly work for her in a domestic setting. "Ugh, plus you just KNOW Barton would be the type of fucker that would eat the last oreo and then shove the empty box back into the cupboard." "So what's your list then, Darcy?" Jane asks, turning back to look at the mold, which has done exactly fuck all in the last half-hour. "Don't rush me! I need to make an informed, calculated choice." Darcy looks down at her pad, then back up at Natasha. She purses her lips in thought. "You've fucked Barnes, right? How dexterous is that metal hand?" -- The ladies of SHIELD play a mass game of MARRY FUCK KILL, Avengers edition. Wherein everyone marries Steve, kills Tony, Jane betrays science and Darcy hypothetically turns Thor into a llama.

Krypto likes to take care of Kon as much as Kon likes to take care of Krypto. When Kon is hungry, Krypto fetches him food. When Kon is sleepy, Krypto fetches him blankets. And when Kon is horny, Krypto fetches him Tim. Which leaves Kon the not-so-fun job of awkwardly explaining to Red Robin why he's been dragged to Smallville in the middle of the night by a well-meaning superdog.

Kon has a crisis. Tim wears pajamas.

Drabbles inspired by the Texts From Last Night website.

Tim doesn't encourage the public, they do it themselves.

"His name is Tim and I think my dick will never understand the difference between fear and arousal again."

"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."

"What's in it for me?"

The Professor he knew was a stern though caring man and he had a welcoming smile like that of a father but it was sometimes too stiff. The Charles he knew from the past was bitter, reckless and stubborn. This Professor though, was very much like the Professor he knew but he had a—dare he say it—tune to his voice and a skip to his er…wheeling. Logan couldn’t really put his tongue on it but there was just something. (Where Logan tries to figure out just what's so different about this future with no Sentinels out to skewer them like it's BBQ night all day, everyday)

"Jane's cute," Clint says, shoveling yet another sloppy joe into his pie-hole. Darcy has been watching him inhale a disturbing amount of food for the last half-hour. This is why she likes eating lunch with the guys instead of why-yes-I'd-love-some-brussel-sprouts-on-the-side Sharon. They're good for her ego. She may eat like a hippo, but she'll never eat as much as Steve, Clint, or Barnes. "She's totally on my FUCK shortlist." All of a sudden the crystal clear sky outside cracks with the loudest thunder Darcy has ever heard in her life. The windows rattle. Everyone freezes. Darcy can practically hear everyone's assholes tighten in fear. Because across the commissary, Thor is looking at their table. And it ain't raining panties this time. Just righteous, godly anger. -- The dudes FINALLY play MARRY FUCK KILL, not-so-Avengers edition. (Because there's like ONE actual female Avenger. Thanks, SHIELD.) Wherein no one follows the rules, everyone still kills Tony, the Mets suck, (lots of theoretical threesomes?!), and Darcy turns Clint into a hypothetical honey badger. (And honey badger don't care. Honey badger don't give a shit.)

Armin, Eren and Mikasa inherit a brothel. A very classy brothel, that's popular with the military. They have no idea what they're doing, but with Armin's cunning, Mikasa's ability to kick ass, and Eren's mysterious kink-discovering skills, they pull through okay. Mostly.

*post Chapter 52* Everyone's feeling down after saving Eren from the Armored Titan. Jean's attempt to cheer everyone up changes everything. One Titan Shifter gave humanity hope. Imagine what seven can do.

From snkkink. On the night of their graduation, the 104th recruits have a wild celebration and get drunk. Really drunk. None more drunk than Those Three. (And they are crazy drunks.) The last anyone sees of them, they are in full 3DMG and hurtling themselves off Wall Rose, screaming something about seeing the ocean. The next morning, the hangover is impressive, three graduates are missing, and a path of destruction leads away from Wall Rose. As for Armin, Eren and Mikasa, they wake up at the ocean. They're not sure how they got there, but getting back is one hell of an adventure. There may have been some cults founded. Armin might be an evil mastermind. And, hey, Eren can turn into a Titan. That might just be the least weird part.

Apparently Supernatural was real, which was presumably why Gabriel was bleeding out onto Richard’s floor. (In which the actors of Supernatural find that reality is stranger and more disturbing than they previously believed, even counting Misha, and an injured archangel discovers that his universe is the subject of a TV show.)

“You’re Captain America!” I said, because he was. “Uh, hulloooo, standing right here,” Tony told me. He was using his obnoxious voice. “I know you’re there,” I said. “But Captain America! You didn’t tell me Captain America was going to be here!” A sequel to 'A Connection Is a Thing Which Requires Maintenance.'

Nick Fury circles the realm Midgard with his coils. Phil Coulson has seen enough of chains for one lifetime. Darcy Lewis is taking a break from Helheim. But there's still the matter of their brother Sleipnir...

What it says on the tin. (Including Follow-ups to: Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and One Of Those Things, and Mrs and Mr Pond..)

What if Castiel had taken a different vessel?

Tony used to think that the 1940s were repressed. Steve's repertoire of racy songs makes him reconsider.

A collection of my shorter fills for snk-kink on dreamwidth. Mostly gen humor. Mostly.

"You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be difficult for three teammates and friends to figure out how they fit, both figuratively, and... not. And yet.

Itachi and Madara massacre the clan, but they miss one member. Obito, loyal Konoha ANBU and disowned Uchiha, suddenly finds himself out of the organization that’s been his life for eight years and raising a traumatized, orphaned child. Kakashi helps. Or watches and plays the smartass, it’s a bit of a tossup.

Genma is a very good assassin. He takes a job, takes a life, comes home, repeats. Then one day a stray genin shows up on his doorstep. And then another. Lonely assassin? Not so much. Try resident shinobi den mother. [In which Genma is a (very manly) mother hen, his apartment attracts strays, and all of his (bastard) friends are quite amused.]

Leverage, Eliot and any, real men wear pink

The further adventures of Sidney Crosby, Professional Troll, as told by Beau Bennett. A sequel of sorts to Drop it Low, but it also stands alone.

How DID their fearless captain save the Haus from the entire football team? Five possible scenarios in which Jack Zimmermann saves the day, sometimes even on purpose.

In which Sidney Crosby discovers twerking and decides it'd be a good idea to add it to the Penguins' workout routine, and Paulie knows exactly who to blame.

Natasha Romanova (Avengers) & Parker (Leverage) - "That is not happening."

In which Levi seems determined to spoil Eren rotten, whether he likes it or not. (For the record, Eren hadn't expected his confession to lead to this sort of thing at all).

"In which Darcy gets Steve's number and proceeds to drag him into the modern world via text messaging and their friends start to ship it."

"Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR."

"For this prompt at comment-fic on lj: Iron Man/Leverage, Parker+JARVIS, Breaking into the Stark Mansion is a real challenge."

"In which Sophie tells horror stories, Eliot is a princess and Nate is confused."

Havoc's first encounter with the little Elrics. Havoc had been looking forward to meeting the Elric brothers, but he’d been looking forward to it while thinking he’d have the whole office as a buffer. He hadn’t thought he’d have them all to himself in a car for half an hour in traffic. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Overjoyed was not the word.

Now you must endure. Drabbles of the Inquisitor and those who follow.

In which people with floofy pauldrons like Cullen should probably not stand so close to the woman waving around a lit candle on the end of a board.

The not so epic romance of Dorian Pavus of the illustrious House Pavus and Hissrad-- more commonly known as The Iron Bull-- of the Ben-Hassrath.

The one where Caine meets Jupiter's family. This is that one.

My Cousin is Dating an Alien, an essay by Moltka Bolotnikov, age 12 and ½.

Iron Bull is almost certainly playing games with him. Dorian is particularly sure of this when he's been drinking.

Flowers have meaning and, sometimes, not knowing them can be beneficial.

A terrible portrait of the Inquisitor is painted for her birthday. She thinks it's atrocious, Krem thinks it's a little hilarious. Drinking ensues to help cope.

Shikamaru was never napping in this particular area of the forest ever again. In fact, he might never set foot outside his apartment if given a choice and the ability to sneak quietly away without being spotted by the two high-level jounin below him. They looked to be distracted, but there was no way in hell Shikamaru was risking being caught catching them at what they were doing.

Some villains have the kinkiest superhero traps.

"...any of your parent’s friends have any kids of less than, say, six years of age?" "No, not that I know of." "Huh-huh.” A suspicion suddenly crystallized in Tsunade’s mind. Between her fingers, her punch glass started to crack.

Orochimaru is on the edge of breaking when someone unexpected pulls him back to solid ground. When the time comes, he returns the favor.

Obito snatches up the abandoned bottle, jogs three steps, and hurls it with all the force he can manage at the back of the white-haired litterer’s head, snarling, “Hey, asshole! It’s called recycling!”

"The princesses discuss their sex lives over tea and scones."

In which Ichigo and Rukia are bros, and no one gets it.